Family not informed of death

I feel wretched about what just happened. My Dad died 3 weeks ago. Funeral was one week ago. Due to family fued mum did not want her estranged family to come or even be told. I reluctantly agreed to respect her wishes so she could grieve in peace. i stay in contact with my grandma, her mum. the ongoing secrecy felt too weird. Each day passing and them not knowing added another stone to the weight I carrying around. I phoned grandma who suffers mild dementia to explain. She was devastated. The news has now reached wider family. They not seen Dad for 2/3 years. I explained to Mam in an email as soon as I made the call that it was impossible to keep it secret and gran now knows and sends her condolences. The family doubtless blame me for not intervening/ overruling her decision not to tell them. Mum doubtless furious with me for telling. Not returning my calls. Was I right to go along with the exclusion in the first place? Was it right to tell the family? The alternative would have been to pretend he was still alive and let them find out from some other source. I can't even believe I've just written this. Is this situation normal? I can't make any sense of what's happening