Photographer at a funeral?

@Pamish. I'd tend to ignore the strange post from Jollyg. Looks like standard Troll fodder to me. Best left with their own baggage.:-)

@jollyg,please try reading my post before you insult me.

I thank you.

sorry..... my message was for Jamilla 1108 who seemed to have picked up on a simple spelling/typing error! on the very first page.

really?? I would have presumed it was a "typo" not worth picking up on to be honest.

The young people took photos at my dad's funeral. I was a little surprised. I ended up asking them for copies... such a shame funerals are the only time we see some far flung family and friends.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201704/medium-146458-image.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201704/medium-466526-image.jpeg

We see photographs of the funerals of public figures so I can't see any difference in wanting a few photos of a loved one's send-off.

I wanted to take some photos at my sister's funeral but didn't as I felt my brother-in-law might think it inappropriate. However, I have a few poignant (I think) shots of my DS and his friends carrying my DH to his final resting place. I was so proud of them and am glad to have the pictures, which were not taken by a professional photographer.

PS. I am Bellasnana but have had to change my name after a lot of complications with my email address. Most annoying and frustrating

I have a photo taken at my DM's funeral of my siblings, my cousins who managed to attend and me. It's just a snapshot not an official photograph.
It was the only time we had been together for years and have never been together since (and never will).

I've discovered several long lost cousins at recent funerals & I really wished I could take their photos at the wake but didn't but arranged to meet again when possible. No problem with photos of flowers afterwards but I'd find videos taken during a funeral as distracting as I do during wedding ceremonies , especially when several guests as well as the official photigrapher pop out from nowhere to get the best shot at key moments. We seem to have lost the art of mindfulness at such important moments.
24 yrs ago, so pre-digital snapping, I took photos of my daughter after she'd died & it just seemed natural at the time. I suddenly realised others might find it odd so warned the Boots photo people. They were not shocked as they said they did a lot for Caribbean families to send back home, not that mine were for anyone else but me.

I began reading thinking 'No' but am now wishing I had a record of my DM's funeral. I can't clearly recall who was there, what was said in the service and how the flowers looked.
I do have a cassette tape of a dear friend's memorial service. Tributes included aspects of his life I'd never known about.
I agree with those posts which say there is no 'norm'. Whatever helps the family to be content on a sad day.

I imagine that one of the reasons it isn't often done is that many of the mourners might be visibly distressed, and it wouldn't be fair to photograph or video them in that state.

My condolences to you, x. Maybe the photographer was there, because somebody couldn't be there, xx

Well done Pamish, so insensitive.

I guess you are of the Digital generation. Snap, snap, snap, surely something will turn out. If not Photoshop!

You have AF AE, camera makes a cup of tea
too to soothe ruffled Ma's in Law.

Social skills you need to upgrade.

I have no particular view on this as long as it's arranged by the family & is discreet. As I'm to be cremated there will only be family flowers & my ashes will be scattered.I believe whatever comforts the family is good

PS Those Victorian photos of dead babies were quite common. Having a photo taken was expensive, so if they had not already done so, they didn't seem to have a problem doing it at the last opportunity. They were usually posed as if asleep. The creepy ones are where the printer has painted in open eyes.

There was a TV programme recently which showed some truly bizarre funeral habits where embalming and dressing up the corpse so it can be part of the wake, is now happening. The glittery lady covered in jewels, G+T glass in hand, at her final party in Vegas, stayed put for days. I would say, only in America, but this habit has been imported, and has now become a (discreet?) competition for embalmers and make-up artists.

Not just pictures, words too. I wish I had a recording of my mum's funeral, not least because I spent ages writing my eulogy and then lost my copy. Also you'd get the mini-biography and connections, that go into the 'deleted after one listen' part of my brain.

Phones now make surprisingly good voice recordings, so leaving a phone set on the front pew would pick up enough to keep and send to those who missed the service.

I'm a photographer and my instinct is therefore to photograph everything. So far I've not done so at funerals though I often wish I could, especially in fabulous buildings. I was at a Greek Orthodox funeral last year and the inside of the church is spectacular, though from outside it's just another brick slab. It would have been wrong to have taken pics, though I know how to do it so no-one notices.

I have done flowers, and have done pics at the wake when the worst of it is over. People want those pics. Better to take them so you have them, even if you never look at them again. As Shiny says above, they become more precious with age.

Many years ago I went to the funeral of a baby. The parents took photos of the coffin before the burial and also when it was placed in the grave. I found it rather strange, but I hope it gave them some comfort.

At both my parents and both my in-laws funerals we took photos of the flowers.

Personally I would a all cameras from funerals, they are upsetting enough.

There is no such thing as "the norm" these days, at a funeral/wedding/christening... whatever. It's entirely up to those who organise and fund the event, and so it should be. We're all different. Sorry for your loss.

We tend to forget that funerals are for the living, not the dead. Sometimes rifts are healed and new generations attend who have never been met before. I have often wondered why we don't take photos because often it records the last time someone was with other members of the family. True, most of us aren't looking at our best, grief is not pretty, but in these days of scattered families a funeral can be a truly historic event, gathering people who rarely meet, or possibly never have.

The generation of smartphone users photograph everything so we need to get used to it, I guess. The important thing afterwards is to note on the photographs who everyone is. I have been saddened in clearing relatives' houses to find historic photographs with no one left to tell me who they are.

My great-grandmother died in 1934 and the mourners posed for a formal group photo. I think it is a great idea. I have that photo now and it has helped me with my family history research.

At my dad's funeral, I was so upset that I didn't remember much of it. Thankfully, there were photographs for me to look at after the event and now, 20 years later, I still treasure them. From the photos I can recall the huge attendance, the cortege, the graveside and the wake. I'm very grateful for those memories.

There is also Skype live done at funerals now! I have been at 2 funerals recently where this was done for those who couldnt be there in person for different reasons. There is a prewarning notice put up outside as you go in.

Family flowers: I have seen pictures being taken of with ease with mobile phone camera's and photos taken of the area of where of where the ashes were scattered which I recently did to send to a relative who couldn't be there

Discretion I think is the order. Life is changing. I read an article on the BBC the other week about a photographer taking photo's with the deceased. Also each year the families would go back to the coffin remove the body and have new family photo's taken with it. It sounds gross and disrespectful to us. To them it was natural. They didn't see the persons has dead, just no longer breathing in this world. Bizzaire and ghoulish to us. Normal to them

Daddima Condolences to you on the loss of your brother

My brother died suddenly last year after surgery in Florida. Our dad died in 2006 and was buried with full military honours as he was a career officer in the USAF. I did take some photos at the graveside myself. I am so happy to have this particular one because it shows my brother receiving the flag from dad's coffin. It was a beautiful event. My photos were of the people, not the casket.

There was some fantastic musical my niece's funeral a few years ago, a brass band and a big choir. The church made a audio recording of it, which I know her mum likes to listen to and was sent to some family who couldn't attend. We also took a picture of the flowers as they were so lovely, I don't like to look at them now or listen to the music as it brings back sad memories, but I can understand why others might like it.