Photographer at a funeral?

Sadly funerals are often the only times that families get together. Fewer weddings and christenings, so it's nice to have a group photo, and it's a nice way to remember the deceased

My first reaction was no way, how tasteless but having read through everyone's thoughts I've completely changed my mind. Thank you all for helping me to see things in a different way.

I can see why people would want photographs taken, although it's not something I would ever consider.
However, at my Uncle J's funeral (a cremation) his son posed his children, then aged 4 & 7 in front of the coffin and told them to smile!
I thought it was a bit weird!
He also asked the Crematorium staff if he and the children could go with them to actually see the coffin 'burned'. Thank goodness they said "no", as that was a seriously warped idea!
He's always been a bit 'odd' though, in fact we don't speak anymore, due to his strange behaviour and comments when my DM died.

I recently went to a funeral which was being video'd with a 'proper' camera -like the ones for newsreels - and with another photographer in attendance. I was shocked at first, but then realised that the lady in question had been something of a heroine in the fifties, so that would explain it!

A close friend lost her mother just before my father died, and she suggested to me that I might like photos of the flowers; someone had discreetly done this for her and she had found it comforting to look at the 'floral tributes'. I thought it a nice thing to do, so she took three or four photos of just the flowers lying in the sunshine after the service, and when I see those photos it is a reminder of Dad and a day when many came to pay respects to a lovely man.

I was very unsure about this when I first read about it. The more I read the more I think a record of the funeral could be useful. As others have said the immediate family are probably too upset to take things in at the time and would like to see a recording later.Also for family members who could not be there for whatever reason.
My son in law had a full military funeral with fly past, his children were very young at the time. It would be good if they could see it now they are older.

Daddima
I too would be horrified. After all it is a final goodbye to a loved one,dear friend/colleague and people to be photographed in their grief is, for me, just not on and invasive.

It is not common but it is requested at some funerals for various reasons.

I suppose it would depend on whether it was something the family wanted or something a guest decided to do. If the family want photographs then I don't see it is anyone else's business really. As others have said, photographs of the dead used to be very popular in Victorian times, even to the extent of including a recently deceased person/child in a family photograph taken just after their death. If it comforts someone then what is the issue?

Our family is spread around the globe. When arranging mom's funeral I was delighted to find a funeral director who had a lovely chapel and a room upstairs for the wake. The chapel was fitted out with webcams and so I was able to give family around the world a password, which enabled them to join us online for the funeral service. This was appreciated by so many people. Maybe one day it will become the norm. When we moved upstairs for refreshments, sure people took photos as there were family there we hadn't seen for years. Mom's funeral was homegrown and very informal, but don't think I'd have liked people taking photos during the service.

Not something I've experienced myself but I did see a programme about this on tv a few years ago. It was done very sensitively and didn't seem intrusive at all, I thought at the time it was an interesting idea. Most of us can't really remember who was there or what was actually said at the service so having a pictorial and verbal record to look back on could be very comforting. After all it's the last thing we do for someone we love. We record other rites of passage in someone's life so why not this final one? Like everything else some will chose to spend ridiculous amounts of money but no doubt like weddings it can be done just as well on a budget. It's all a matter of personal choice.

My husband had a full military funeral and I often say I wish we had a recording of it.

Not a fan of this but can see it coming with Facebook social media etc this is a private day keep it that way memories should be of them alive not at this sad time x

We did have photos & a video of my Dads funeral as there were members of the British Legion & the Vincent Owners club both of which he belonged to upto his dying at 93. It was just something that we wanted to remember, all the people that loved him turning up to say goodbye.

My uncle died in 1966 when I was just a wee girl and my granny always took great comfort in the photos someone took of all the flowers on the grave in the evening after the service. My auntie died just over a year ago. My gran had 23 grandchildren and I think about 20 of us were at the funeral. I know my auntie and my gran would have been really chuffed, but when one cousin suggested we have a big family "portrait" taken, my female cousin - whose mum had just died - fled to the loos. She thought it was incredibly insensitive to pose at a funeral, so we didn't!

*memory

Do you think people should still wear black to funerals? I don't wear black. I wear something that says, "the memorientation I have of you are colourful and happy ones" as that was should be celebrated, not the death but the life shared with that person ? As for the photographer, probably for someone who couldn't attend.

My mother came from a large family (11 children) and when my grandfather died in 1953 one of my uncles took a photo of all of them with my grandmother on a camera with a timer as they were rarely altogether and everyone had a copy. Nice to look back on now. After all, weddings and funerals are the only times everyone in the family comes together, and the wake, like the wedding reception, is where everyone catches up sometimes after years apart.

Must be a clause in the will that you only get the goods if you attend the funeral.

When my BIL was buried in the Philippines in 2000, a video was taken of the ceremony. It was apparently quite normal there. I think my MIL rather appreciated it as she'd been too frail to travel to Manila.

Daddima Condolences to you and your family.I would not have liked a Photographer at my Mum or Sisters funeral as i would have found that intrusive and a tad ghoulish but we did have photo's taken at both wake's (not professionally) as like in most families it is the one time most of the family are gathered from the four corners of the globe.

The 'norm'? Hopefully there's no longer such a thing. Progress and yes sometimes regress is 'eye of the beholder' stuff. As long as the photographer was not behaving offensively or intrusively I can see nothing amiss and presumably anyone in the official party would be free to object if they so wish. Nope...... no problem in my book.

I went to a friend's mum's funeral recently and there was a photographer there- I did find it bizarre and slightly mawkish- but each to their own I suppose..

As a wedding photographer, Ive also seen funeral photography carried out in a tasteful discreet way subject to the wishes of the family, without being invasive or disrespectful. Ive taken photos of a horse drawn funeral and the floral tributes at the request of the family so that the family and friends who could not make a long distance service, see the dignified start of the funeral by the horses drawing the carriage and the tributes they sent but could not see. I guess its down to people what they wish for a funeral, the same as a wedding. Attitudes to funerals have shifted and a lot of people wish to remember the departing ceremony in a caring, remembering way, hence photographs making a "memory". Some funeral photography is more discreet and professional than a lot of awful FB posts.

Apologies, tablet is VERY slow this morning