Photographer at a funeral?

My sister asked my husband to photograph people at the wake so she would remember who had been at her husband's funeral. I agree that attitudes have changed. I have received notifications by email, text and Facebook.

It could create a record of distant relatives, if they attend, then you can 'put a name to a face'.

It could create a record of distant relatives, if they attend, then you can 'put a name to a face'.

I was asked by a neighbour to photograph her sons hands after he died.

They were lovely , fine artistic. He was in the coffin at the time.

Also have also been asked to attend a Crem funeral. People arriving etc, the coffin in the car, then going in.

I think there had been some family rift. I tried to be as invisible as possible, and no one questioned my presence.

In S India the body is laid out at an angle on an inclined bier, complete with glasses if the deceased wore them, and toes tied together

My cousin took photographs at my uncle's funeral but there was a very good reason as my aunt was in hospital after losing her leg in a traffic accident. We have also taken photos of flowers to send to family abroad, they had contributed but been unable to attend the funeral.

Funerals and attitude to death have changed over the years. Once upon a time in the 19th century, photographers used to take pictures of the dead person, not just lying in a coffin, but propped up as if still alive. Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard and anything that makes the process less painful to deal with seems okay to me. So if you want The Bay City Rollers as the coffin leaves the ceremony, as in Love Actually or I know that My Redeemer Liveth, as played at my Ma's funeral, then surely that is okay. Absentdaughter was not enthusiastic about Trashy Women (by Confederate Railroad) at my wedding, but she might have to put up with it at my funeral. Or not, as she gets the last word, for once.

My mother has said that she wishes there had been a video of my dad's funeral as it passed in a blur at the time. We had a humanist celebrant just to tie things together but my brothers, my daughter and I all took part and an uncle sang. It was very different to the requiem mass which was the norm in my mother's Catholic family. So many people commented on how lovely it was and my mum is quite sad that she doesn't remember.

I wouldn't have any qualms as long as the videographer was discreet, it's just that we aren't used to it. I can't see why not though as it's the norm for every other significant event in our lives documented.

I seem to have a hazy memory that there was an official photographer present at my son in law's private military funeral - I think that an album was made and given to my daughter to keep for her son when he is older, but I can't really remember. I'll ask her about it.

many years ago I worked in a studio in Glasgow and we regualrly were asked to take photographs at the funerals of an eastern european group,they involved the coffin being stood on its end with the corpse inside and "guests" photographed with it.Unusual and a lot of our photographers were young and found it difficult.We haven't been asked to take funeral photos for decades until a couple of years ago when a local funeral director bought the horse and carriage style hearse I associate with Eastenders and we've had a few people who want shots of it leaving the church and arriving at the cemetery...I cant for the life of me understand why you would want it,its not like you can show the deceased and let them see the silly money you spent on their send off.I think funerals are ,in the main , a shocking waste of money.My will stipulates no expensive coffin or flowers etc,far better any money we leave is spent on the people we leave behind.

It might be for an absent family member.

special

I wonder if we find it strange simply because we've never encountered it? Why shouldn't photographs or video be taken of sad events as well as of happy ones?

Actually, thinking back to my dad's funeral, and the 'wake' afterwards, it wasn't a sad event. It was really rather lovely meeting friends he'd had at uni and during his teaching years.

I did, and do, feel sadness about his no longer being around, but his funeral, our formal goodbye to him, was not a sad event.

So why not have pictures as reminders of the secial occasion it was?

I can see the point of the video Greyduster but a photographer at an ordinary funeral seems a bit odd. I've been to a lot of funerals (big family) and never seen a photographer.

My son arranged for a video to be made of his late wife's funeral service, as her parents were both elderly and frail and were not able to make the journey from South Africa. Her mother sent me a letter telling me that they appreciated and took comfort from it. Only time I have ever seen it done.

Ex SIL's family have videos taken of their family funerals in a similar format to the weddings! They are of Caribbean origin, perhaps that is their way. The males strip to shirt sleeves and fill in the grave at the burial, all captured on video.

Discuss

I presume the photographer wasn't arranging people as often happens at weddings, but just discreetly making a pictorial recording of the event.

Or just a reminder of who cared enough about your brother to come to his funeral.

Might be a useful reminder to the family of who was there. Perhaps so they could be thanked by post in due course.