Sending every good wish to all who have lost beloved animal companions, it is so hard when they go, but unfortunately it is the price we pay for the sad fact that usually we live longer than they do.
But, please think about the great pleasure that they brought to you, and the lovely times you shared.
Xxxx
Gransnet forums
Bereavement
Losing a pet
(78 Posts)We lost our wee dog last week. We had rescued her only just over 14 months ago, she was only 7, but from having an x-ray at our vet for a persistent cough to being referred onto a vet hospital for a scan, to redoing the scans a week early as she had gone down hill very rapidly, and putting her to sleep was less than 6 weeks. She had an aggressive cancer and there was nothing we could do despite having pet insurance to cover any costs.
It hurts like hell to lose a pet and the grief is terrible.
We have gone through the guilt of "did she get taken because we had thought about sending her back more than once in the first 10 weeks as she was a nightmare" of course she didnt we kept her didnt we.
Was it because she was a nightmare with other dogs ( though was improving) and we jokingly wished we had a dog that got on with other dogs? so maybe she was taken so we could get that other dog? But then we had adapted to her ways and just took her where in general there were not other dogs and kept her on the lead where there were others.
Was it cos hubby mentioned "she tied us down", well I did not mind being tied down for the odd occasion it was an issue the eldest DGD came round to sit with her.
All of these negatives were well outweighed by the positives of the waggy tail that wagged the whole dog, to the joy in her eyes when we took her places. The way she ran to meet me on when I came in from work and had the routine of sniffing to see if there was anything nice in my bag ( never was) for her to eat before going onto the 3rd or 4th stair so I could stroke her and make a fuss of her and tell her how much I loved her.
I miss her not being there to meet me, to sit with me and to lie on the bottom of the bed hogging the quilt.
RIP little Lilly.
devongirl Thank you for your lovely comments, and I am so sorry to hear your story. I found a number of companies supplying secure cat fencing (there's a definite need, all from people who have lost one or more cats on the roads or whatever)and did some research to pick up ideas, and watched a video on Youtube about how to do it oneself.
One of the companies, Felisafe, will sell the netting and brackets needed separately, so in the end I contacted a local handyman who has done some jobs for me in the past, and ordered what was necessary from Felisafe. I have 7 foot high brick walls round my garden but my remaining cat would run all the way up the wall and then drop down the other side.
She was a bit peeved when she first found she couldn't do that, and she really did try, and clung on to the netting, but the design is simple yet clever and she couldn't get over it. I have seen video clips of people's cats trying and not succeeding. It really does work.
She soon got used to staying in the garden, and it's such a relief for me to know that she's safe .... from being run over, from other cats, from dogs or foxes. I only wish I'd found out about these ideas sooner and saved the lives of my last 2 cats, so I'll be pleased if my posts on here help anybody decide to do the same.
It is sad to lose a dog. I've started to brace myself for the loss of my dog. She has a suspected brain tumour, and at 17 yes old the Vet will not treat it. Today she has been very sleepy although has had her food and a couple of long drinks of water. After lunch I found her lying on the sofa bleeding from the mouth. I think she has lost a tooth! Fortunately she seems pain free, but I fear the end is not far away.
just back reading through all these lovely posts. Thank you all for your thoughts and hugs. So sad our pets have to pass, but yes I think one day soonish we will rescue another and give them a good life.
Hugs to all you other pet loss people.
sparklefizz, that is absolutely heartbreaking; I certainly didn't mean to suggest they shouldn't be allowed into the garden, just not kept indoors for our benefit, I was applauding your attitude in enclosing the garden rather than keeping the cat inside. You sound like a wonderful cat owner.
I lost my own cat to illness last summer, and he ran away while I was in hospital; I was devastated as I imagined him dying in agony but a neighbour took him to the local vet, where they looked after him until there was no hope left, when they put him to sleep. I was so grateful to both the neighbour and the vet. That was nearly a year ago, and I still can't face taking in another cat.
Unfortunately there is a term in the leases where I live now which forbids us to enclose the garden. Can I ask how you've enclosed yours?
Thank you devongirl. My garden is secured now but my lovely little cat has plenty of room to explore and hide and climb .... just that she now can't get over the garden walls and out into the wide blue yonder. Cats are free spirits, I know (although I have had one rescue cat who was too afraid to go over the threshold and wanted to stay indoors all the time), but 5 of my cats have been run over in the last 25 years, (2 in the last 2 years as mentioned) plus another 1 torn apart by 2 dogs on the loose, and the heartbreak will never end otherwise.
?
The following will apply equally to our feline friends.
Warning - Kleenex alert 
THE LAST WILL & TESTATMENT OF A DOG
Before humans die, they write their last will and Testament, give their home and all the have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I'd ask:
To the poor and lonely stray I'd give: My happy home, my bowl and cozy bed, and all my toys. The lap, which I loved so much, the hand that stroked my fur and the sweet voice that spoke my name. I'd will to the sad, ...scared shelter dog, the place I had in my human's loving heart.
So, when I die, don't say "I'll never have another pet, because the loss and pain is more than I can stand." Instead, go find an unloved animal, one whose life has held no joy or hope and give MY place to him. This is the only thing I can give: the love I left behind.
Taken from Eugene O'Neill's Last Will and Testament of a dog.
I agree with your approach cindersdad. My brother lost a beautiful Maine Coon kitten when it was run over, and his partner was all for keeping the remaining cats indoors all the time, but he wouldn't do it because he thought it would be unkind, and I agree - we take our chances and keep evrything crossed, but in the end, cats are animals and I believe should be able to live as freely as possible.
Thank you for your sympathies but Suki's death was almost 3 years ago and at the time it was dreadful. Cinders is Suki's kitten we had the two of together for 2 years. Cinders is allowed out after rush hour and given free reign. Fortunately she does not cross road where Suki was killed but she does climb (to a great height) so keeping her out of danger is not practical. You mitigate it as best you can and hope. Suki was the only pet we have lost in a traffic accident
sparklefizz so sorry to hear about your heartbreaking loss.
Cindersdad, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Suki. I have had 2 cats run over in just over 2 years and I live in a quiet cul-de-sac but they wandered. I couldn't believe it when it happened the 1st time, let alone the 2nd time. I know how gutted you must feel and I am so sorry. I have just had my garden secured to stop my remaining cat getting out, and the peace of mind has been worth it, especially on recycling collection day with a large truck reversing down the cul-de-sac. I was always stressed whenever she went out but now I can relax. Just wish I'd known this could be done and had it done earlier so that I still had my lovely 2 cats who were each only 18 months old when they were run over. It was heartbreaking.
Sending you a hug, and a hug to everyone on here who is missing their much-loved pet.
So sorry to hear, and know exactly how you feel.
Today is the start of a new week, and your grief will turn to smiles soon as you remember her as a lovely loving pet.
I've had a number of cats pass away. Three of them had long lives and either died with no intervention or were put to sleep. Of course you do miss them dreadfully almost as much as a relative but when the death is natural and timely it is easier to accept.
More recently our beautiful and affectionate tabby Suki was run over aged about 3. That was very much harder to come to terms with. I blamed myself for letting her out that morning a bit earlier than normal.
Oh I feel for you, it's heartbreak. We said after our 17 year old rescue Jack Russell died that we couldn't go through it again. But six weeks later we started looking online at rescue centres and took on another one. Our previous dogs will never be forgotten but a new one helped us cope with the loss.
They are such amazing friends to us. Still miss my little friend. It's the deal, though. Shorter lives, but amazing bond. Can't bear to get another one right now, though.
Oh, this has made me cry. So sorry for your loss, Poohbear, I can understand what you are going through. We love our pets so much, don't we? Give yourself time to grieve and then perhaps see if you can find another furry baby to love, would be my advice. It won't take the place of Lilly, of course, but it will help to fill the hole in your heart.
Oh dear...tears because we've been there..all of ours have rescued or opco' s(other people's castoffs) and after the last two we said never again because we couldn't bear the heartbreak...we now have another rescue whom we've so nearly sent back but of course we haven't,and she's turning into a lovely dog...you've been brave and you'll be brave again...you gave your pet a lovely life that they wouldn't have had without you,don't feel guilty,just remember that tail wagging the whole dog......hugs x
Yes, its like losing a dear friend. One who never criticises, judges, or is disloyal. I am still grieving for my little Lucy, who died in March aged 17. A stroppy hairy little mongrel I found tied up to a dustbin all those years ago
P.S. After a while of missing the one that died, mainly because the house was so quiet and there was no-one to welcome us, I felt able to look for a new pet, as different from the other one as I could possibly find. We love him just as much but would never want to forget the other one.
Pooobear2811
I feel desperately sad, but you must keep in mind that Lilly had an aggressive cancer, which was not your fault at all and certainly not hers. You did the very best you could have done in all circumstances for her. It is awful but you must try to remember all the good times you all had together. I found it comforting to make a little piece of garden in my garden which has pretty flowers and is in memory of a pet that we adored who is no longer with us. I often think of her and look at her lovely photo.
It's so very hard I know. In time you remember the good times. Having another pet does help as they are all different, but sometimes you have that extra special bond, as you do with a person, that can never be replaced. Just have to be glad you found each other and how your lives were enriched by it.? 2811, put the negative thoughts away, we all have those, far outweighed by the fact that you loved and cared for your friend.
I'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my beautiful Burmese cat at 18 years old, eighteen months ago and miss her every day. We now have a young rescue cat but I still miss my Burmese. In the end, we must come to terms and accept loss, but we will never forget the joy our pets bring to us. In time, maybe you will give a forever home to another needy animal. It will be different, but your lovely dog will always be in your heart.
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