Sibling death

Thank you all once again for your kind thoughts.

Everything went as planned, with the right balance of sadness & celebration of a full life. Good foundations laid for ongoing friendships & relationships.
All is well.

Sorry for your loss, poshgran.

Condolences PoshGran.
How lovely you could spend time with him before he died, treasure those moments.
Will think of you on Tuesday.

Condolences on your loss. Thank you for your very moving post. Precious memories of those last few years must be very precious indeed.

So glad to hear that such a good start has been made with your nephew PoshGran. Will be thinking about you and hoping all goes well on Tuesday.

Be thankful of those precious times you have had before he moved on,,, Memories formed that will never be forgotten...hugs for you x

Thank you all so much for your kind, supportive words & also for sharing your own experiences.

Most of the arrangements for next Tue are finalised; my nephew (12 years my junior!) & his wife have done a stirling job & have included me in necessary discussions.

I am feeling gradually more 'settled' & have occupied myself today gathering a requested small selection of sibling photos to share with folk back at the house after the ceremony. One of them indeed shows him feeding me as a babe!

I also feel for youPoshgran.I am 14 years younger than my brother.we have lived opposite sides of the country ,he lived in border Wa!es.,and myself in East Anglia.and only saw each other about twice a year.he was always very busy as church warden and all that entailed,however his wife died a couple of years ago.and he has been unwell.his son has pestered him to go and live with them near London.but he won't hear of it.,so I'm my last visit i said well you could move near me,and that is exactly what he is doing.I am 66 and he is 81, and we are really looking forward to being near each other again.and bonding further .he gets on well with my dh.I know his health will deteriorate over time .but he is good for awhile and we want to make the most of it.as like Poshgran,..I was only a small child when he was in his twenties.and was always being teased.as little kid sister.

I do feel for you Poshgran.
I lost my brother in February this year, younger than me at 67.
My story is opposite to yours as we were much closer when younger and though not estranged things were not easy between us in later life. I was however quite devastated when he died suddenly and so sorry our relationship wasn't better. I think we always have regrets no matter what. Be easy on yourself, it's early days and nobody ever tells you how hard it hits you to lose a sibling. Sadly my brother had no family, so I'm left only with regrets.

My only sister is 13 years younger than me and although I am sure we are fond of one another we really have nothing in common. We phone each other occasionally and pass on news of new babies etc. I am sure she will be sad if I die but doubt very much that she will grieve for long. She and her husband see more of my eldest son, who is 13 years younger than my sister, than they do of me.

Much sympathy Poshgran it can't have been easy for you. Try to remember the good times, there was a huge age gap between you so it's not surprising that you weren't close.
I have a brother who's nine years older and I haven't seen him for years though we exchange greeting cards. There's no animosity between us - he's just a different generation.

Lovely post Poshgran, thankyou. My brother hasn't spoken to me for seventeen years (I have no idea why and have, just within the last two years, given up contacting him) and it makes me very sad because my mother always said that she would hate that to happen. I'm so, so glad you had that time with your brother and hope you can build a good relationship with your nephew.

MawBroon I love the piece by Jennifer Saunders. Having lost my DS to cancer last year I find the words so true. PoshGran you will have good days and bad days but it’s good that you have some happy memories of your brother.

Thank you for posting Posh. I hope things work out well for you and your nephew.

I was truly heartened by this post, as there is a wide age gap between my children and it gave me hope that they will be closer when they are older and time permits.

Cherish those memories of a lovely brother.

Just read this by Jennifer Saunders and it “spoke” to me.
Hope it does to you too

Someday you will be faced with the reality of loss. And as life goes on, days rolling into nights, it will become clear that you never really stop missing someone special who’s gone, you just learn to live around the gaping hole of their absence.
When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss. You will never forget them. However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news. They will live on in the warmth of your broken heart that doesn’t fully heal back up, and you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wound
It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character. The people you lose remain a part of you
Remember them and always cherish the good moments spent with them

Very sorry to hear this. After all you did have those last years. I also had an older brother and we grew up apart in most things.
Once I was visting him and his wife on their narrow boat on a canal in the midlands. Then my SIL was called away to look after her mother and I was left on the boat with my brother and almost panicked as I couldn't think what we would talk about. Actually it all went well we talked first about our dog that died when when we were young and from then we found a lot of things to discuss. I helped him with the boat and soon my SIL returned.

Unfortunately he died some years after and I was so glad we had got close after all. I know he loved me as his little sister but I felt only that I couldn't bear to see him hurt.
Any death in the family hurts but that is life. Its natural to feel sad and have doubts and wish you'd done more or paid attention.
Give yourself time. Good luck.

Very sorry for your loss. I'm so glad for you though that you had some lovely times together eventually, and finally got to know and really appreciated each other. Great memories to treasure.

Treasure the good memories PoshGran and please accept my sincere condolences. May your relationship with your nephew strengthen over time.

Yes, adding my condolences Poshgran. What a beautiful post. I am glad for you that you felt you grew closer to your brother in the last few years. I hope you and your nephew can draw comfort from each other.

Sorry for your loss.

You ade the most of the precious time you had with him at the end of your life, which will have benefited both him and you. I am sorry for your loss; siblings are precious, even though your relationship with him was so short.

Poshgran that is a beautiful post. Treasure these last three years, what a privilege.

So sorry for your loss Poshgran At least you were able to have a good relationship with your brother towards the end of his life. You must have been a great comfort to him.
I hope you can get closer to your nephew

A moving post poshgran, sincere condolences.