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Bereavement

My beloved child

(1001 Posts)
Anniebach Wed 01-Nov-17 18:45:42

My beloved daughter took her life in the early hours of this morning.

My first born, my joy, my best friend , my laughter, my tears

I am broken

Annie

annsixty Tue 21-Nov-17 08:50:45

I think the council are trying it on.Obviously the house needs clearing ,but painting and decorating, never.
The next tenants want to put their own stamp on the place.
Just clear it all and hand the keys back.

lemongrove Tue 21-Nov-17 08:44:57

Don’t have anything done with the house Annie as none of you are liable for that.They may push for cleaning etc done but in the end will be glad just to get the key.
BlueBelle says it all ( above) flowers

BlueBelle Tue 21-Nov-17 08:32:36

I agree MissAdventure oh dear it’s just trouble heaped on sadness and all so blooming unnecessary where are these people’s compassion

MissAdventure Tue 21-Nov-17 07:30:35

Annie, your son in law needs to write to the council telling them there are no monies left in your daughters estate. I have just had to do this for my daughters home.

NfkDumpling Tue 21-Nov-17 07:29:24

When I worked for a housing association (admittedly a long time ago now) a vacant property had to be emptied, clear and clear within a couple of weeks as there were so many waiting for homes and in reality it's something which is best done sooner rather than later, but I never recalled it having to be painted and decorated! To whose standard? What about the faults? It takes time to get a house ready for re-occupation. You can't be expected to get it painted in two weeks? The practicalities are absurd. That's not right. Don't do it.
Rent used to be paid monthly, two weeks in advance and two weeks in arrears, but I have a feeling this may have changed so the amount owing could be correct. He should ask them to check. I suppose they want to know about the will to see how long it's likely to be before he can pay the outstanding amount from her assets.

gillybob Tue 21-Nov-17 07:14:04

When my grandma died I was told that her housing benefit died with her and I was conned ( yes that is the right word) into giving my details as a point of contact ( so i thought) next thing letter to my address with invoice for full rent for the three weeks ( rounded up never down) it took me and my cousin to empty the bungalow . I was told that if I couldn't pay it I would have to be referred for an income report . I wasn't even technically next if kin but my mum was too poorly to deal with it. They're all heart these housing people .

I am so angry and hurt for you Annie and I do hope the truth comes out surrounding your daughters tragic death . Xx

kittylester Tue 21-Nov-17 06:58:16

Morning Annie! I hope you got some sleep despite the extra problems that are coming your way.

Is your daughter's phone a smart phone? If so, you can screen shot the relevant bits and email them to yourselves. Years of experience ofckeeping evidence of the idiot's (ex Sil) idiocy!

wot Tue 21-Nov-17 06:47:10

Hang on in there, Annie, we are all with you xxxxx

Anniebach Tue 21-Nov-17 05:51:47

But my son in law never lived in the house, has the housing officer the right to ask him if my daughter had left a will and also had he applied for probate , they have been separated seven years. This is all getting too much

BlueBelle Tue 21-Nov-17 05:16:55

Gosh Annie it does sound like something went on that evening and like you I d be like a dog with a bone until I knew what , I do hope you can get a solicitor or someone to help unravel it and perhaps some information from the contacts you have found will give you some clues Yes cloning the phone would be helpful if you can find someone to help you do it
I have become to trust no one but my own family especially when it comes to cover ups It’s the not knowing that is so awful
If it’s a council house I think that does happen, my friend lived with her Mum in social housing and when the mum died the daughter and her belongings had to be out with a very short space of time a week maybe two This was London how do you find some where else in two weeks and clear all her mums life time of things and her own and hold down a job whilst in grief it’s barbaric
Do try to eat my love little and often ...chicken noodle soup
My thoughts and my care go out to you xx

Anniebach Tue 21-Nov-17 02:26:37

Council phoned son in law yesterday. They want the house empty , cleaned and painted and key handed over on 4th December , this gives him only two weekends and they want the rent for the month , no idea if we are responsible for this, never lived there, never involved in applying for it, seems as next of kin he is responsible even though separated seven years. We didn't expect the painting either. When I moved in this bungalow I had to pay to have it repainted not the next of kin who live ten minutes walk away.

Feel I have had more than enough now.

Ginny42 Tue 21-Nov-17 00:17:04

Oh dear Annie, these further revelations are worrying, and like you, I would want to investigate the events prior to your daughter's death. You really could do without the added stress, but it will eat away at you until you find the answers you seek so that in time you will find peace.

Stay strong. Think of all of us willing you through this awful time. xx

Jalima1108 Mon 20-Nov-17 23:18:29

I don't know anything about cloning phones but it sounds like a good idea.
Whatever you do, I would think that you need to have a complete record before/if you hand it over to the police.

I hope you have a better night

Anniebach Mon 20-Nov-17 19:41:46

Ooooh, thank you humpty x

humptydumpty Mon 20-Nov-17 19:28:30

Annie I believe it is possible to clone a phone so that you can copy everything to another phone. This might be useful if you need to hand the phone over to the police, you'll still have everything.

Anniebach Mon 20-Nov-17 19:11:28

Willow, it is worrying, I have no problem with the truth, I have supportered my daughter for years with her illness but I want the whole truth .

I haven't given them the phone records, I am working through them to find out who my daughter phoned, I have tracked five today , I will then give them and see who the police decide to interview. What I am doing isn't honest but I am not hurting anyone, I just want names.

Never heard of Dutch bakes , will look for them, thank you.

Willow500 Mon 20-Nov-17 19:02:11

Annie all that sounds quite worrying - nothing is going to change the dreadful outcome of course but there seems to be questions which need answering. I hope you get some of them when the inquest takes place. It might be worth asking a solicitor whether they think you should have someone there for you. Have you given the police the phone records now?

I have just remembered about Dutch bakes - biscuits my father used to eat and which are easy to digest - they're a bit dry but with a cup of tea might be easier than rice cakes?

MissAdventure Mon 20-Nov-17 18:55:45

Too right she does, Annie! Lets hope a clearer picture emerges - whatever it is. At least you'll have some answers.

Anniebach Mon 20-Nov-17 18:45:36

You are always kind and honest MissAdventure, all I want is justice for my girl , I expect the local rag will print the toxicology reports on their front page , more than likely they will show a high level of alcohol so we have that to come too. Regardless of this my daughter deserves justice

MissAdventure Mon 20-Nov-17 18:37:15

I agree, Annie. I'm scared of saying the wrong thing: I've never been much good at getting the words exactly right, but, well, I'm sorry you've another thing added to your sadness.

Anniebach Mon 20-Nov-17 18:26:29

Working towards it Crafting, haven't eaten wheat for years.

I agree MissAdventure but the police are not known for honesty at all times

MissAdventure Mon 20-Nov-17 18:07:36

You would think it would be a legal requirement for any person or agency who had contact with someone at such a time to present all the facts.

Crafting Mon 20-Nov-17 18:04:27

Would cupcake be better annie....just a little one ?

Crafting Mon 20-Nov-17 18:03:02

hmm does make you think doesn't it.

Anniebach Mon 20-Nov-17 17:57:31

Oh chicken ☹️

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