Bereavement is discovering who your true friends are!

There are still many people who avoid the bereaved because "I don't know what to say" if only they realised that a hug or even a touch on the arm can say a lot.

I am sorry I chose my words wrongly as I regard myself as a Christian. In my experience over the years it is often the avid church goers who are the least 'christian' as some of them seem to think that going to church will secure them a place in heaven. I must stress not all but certainly the less tolerant of them.

Many moons ago, a colleague of mine lost her husband and what amazed her was how 'old' friends abandoned her and it was the younger friends and neighbours who rallied round.

Nowt so queer as folk!

Unfair, I am so sorry you have suffered a bereavement but please do not judge me because of one person in your life

Nonnie how dreadful not to hear from your brother. I am an only child but cannot imagine how that must feel.
This lady is an avid Catholic and talks religion at every opportunity. She has managed to fall out with both her son and daughter so maybe it says more about her.

I can go along with much of what you say, but to condemn all Christians on the basis of this unthinking woman is unfair - not a representative selection, even if perhaps true in your experience.
When my DH died last November a very (otherwise) nice woman commented when she first saw me in January and had commented on my absence from our art history classes,
“Oh dear, I expect that cast a bit of a shadow over Christmas then”
??? I was a bit at a loss as to how to react.
But in my experience, the true friends are the ones who are still concerned for you 6 months, 12 months or even afterwards.
Those first weeks are awful, but so is later when the world has continued to spin and everybody is getting on with their lives.
Except you.
Every sympathy on your loss

Please don't blame Christians for one person! There is good and bad everywhere but people seem to expect so much more from someone who calls themselves a Christian. In this case I think you are right to be upset but wrong to blame it on her claiming to be a Christian. Many lonely people go to church for the social life rather than because they believe.

When DS died we had great support from all sorts of people, ones we were close to and some we didn't even know. We just had two people who upset us, my brother who didn't send a word of any kind and an old friend who assumed that because we didn't know the cause of DS's death it must have been suicide. Both are off our Christmas card lists now.

My condolences on the death of your father. I am pleased that you have some supportive friends at least.

When I was a shy early teenager I remember pretending not to see a recently bereaved neighbour in our village. Her husband met a particularly horrific end on the railway line and I just knew that I would cry and be lost for words. She rather pointedly called hello to me, at which I was mortified and stuttered an apology. Since then I have made a point of always approaching or visiting those who have lost loved ones. I have learnt that it is not a bad thing to cry with them and sometimes it is more helpful to listen rather than talk.