The loneliness on losing a partner

May I share this with you ?

My grandson called to see me last Saturday. I rarely see him now he moved away several years ago. He is 26. Just a few years younger than my husband when he died. I felt such sadness, my husband is still young. He didn’t see his daughters go to High School, marry, didn’t see his grandchildren, didn’t see me grow old.

When you feel lonely without your husband hold onto your shared memories , to be without your husband is so hard, to have only very few old memories of a young man you adored is so painful

Annie what a sad post. ?

I lost my husband nine months ago. He was never ill and had what we thought was a bad chest infection. I eventually got him to go to the Dr. He was admitted to hospital on that Monday. On Wednesday we were told he had lung cancer. On Friday told he was terminal. He died ‘suddenly’ in my arms 99days later , waiting for an ambulance after I dialled 999 three times. They didn’t arrive in time. I hate weekends. I ‘notice’ couples. I cry, just because.......
I have never lived alone from being 17, we were married 46 years. My son and family are close by and brilliant and include me in lots of things. But I try to refuse some invites as I don’t want to become a limpet. Nights are so hard. So quiet. And regularly so sad.
Thank goodness I have my cats for some permanent company.
I don’t see a fantastic future in front of me , I just miss him so much.
I agree June, the missing a cuddle and the loneliness is hard to bare.
So many of us in this awful position.
No answers, we just have to carry on.
My best wishes to all who are struggling.

Grandma Moira what an upsetting thing to happen. There are so many trip hazards on this journey
Didn’t the solicitor register the change of ownership of the house to you at the time? This should have been done when your DH’s affairs were sorted so the documents would need only your signature now as the sole owner. Get the solicitor or executor to check with the land registry or it might delay your sale.

Maw a lovely photo again. Another sad first. Take care.

Sorry Moira

Absolutely Grandma Moura it is crass and incompetent.
No excuse for anybody to claim the letter was “computer generated” either.
My “favourite” if you can call it that was the email from The Tablet (Catholic magazine) after I had cancelled the subscription “acknowledging the change of address”
I emailed back asking if they knew something about “where he had gone” different to my hopes.
I also sobbed my heart out at the time.
Feeling for you

I've been a widow o orsome years and am usually okay about it. Now I am selling the house where we lived together and today I received a letter from my solicitor asking my husband to sign the contract and several other forms. They have his death certificate. I now feel quite upset more than angry about their incompetence. I'm sure the other widows here will understand.

Lovely photo of Paw.

Oh dear, just realised I had already posted on this thread, that'll teach me to read everything thoroughly, so sorry folks. Why isn't there a delete like there is on Facebook?

It doesn’t get any easier does it?
Sometimes I think I am coping better and then great waves of emptiness wash over me leaving me with the life sucked out of me.
The girls, SILs and DGC s were all here today to honour his birthday and take flowers to Grandpa’s grave.
So sad that only the older two are likely to remember him in future years and that DD3’s “bump” will never know him.
Then they all went home and it was just (Hattie and) me and my memories.
Got to get on with life now.

My sympathies too, my DH died in February, have always liked and enjoyed my own company, but this is something different. Can't see it getting any better. Whatever I do, wherever I go, he's not there. I felt so alone yesterday in a crowd of over 10,000 rugby fans. No-one prepares you for this. But, like Maw, I feel blessed to have known him and had his love for nearly 50 years.

Maw, you certainly are blessed, as was Paw.?

On the eve of my darling Paw’s birthday I am unsurprisingly in reflective mood.
How lucky we were to find each other all those years ago (1966) and however much I miss him, I realise how privileged I have been to share my life with all its ups and downs with this gentle and principled man.
As to his legacy I only have to look at our lovely daughters and our wonderful grandchildren.

Greengage I think I might be like you, I know what you mean.
But my husband doesn't think he'll cope, says we must go together . (?How)

My husband died over 11 years ago. I missed him dreadfully but I'm one of the lucky ones in that I have always been good in my own company so although I was alone, I wasn't lonely.

Marydoll me too. And I know the time will come soon for one of us.

This thread is so sad, such emotional pain.
I read it when I couldn't sleep this morning.
I have done nothing, but moan and grump, at my husband for the last few days. It has certainly made me realise how fortunate I am. I'm ashamed of myself.

Somehow I don’t think so.
Reported.

I understand the feeling of loss as I lost my DW 6 years ago but talking to Beautiful Souls make me feel less lonely at times .
I think you're really strong and you deserve more attention. I hope you'll grace me with yours

My thoughts are with you all and I understand the lonely feeling loss brings. A while ago I met a lady at the local hospital visiting her husband. We live in the country and people need to travel for hospitalisation. She mentioned the high cost of petrol left her unable to pay for accommodation to stay a few days. I offered her a room for a modest fee and loved the company. I checked first with the hospital as to her 'character' etc. To cut a long story short I then decided to register on AirBnb to rent a room with a light breakfast to women travellers. It has worked very well and Airbnb do all the background checks and handle the money which just arrives in my bank account. I was nervous at first but now feeling a lot better and love the company. My daughter stayed with me for the night in the beginning because she was worried. It will never replace my loss but I do now have a reason to get out of bed and a little joy in my life. Maybe my experience could help someone else. I must add my daughter helped me register on the computer and that was something I had never used.

This is a nice thread of people. Hugs and love to OP. Life doesn’t get any easier as we get older. Nor typing on this iPad that keeps freezing!

It was brought home to me again today, I banged my wrist and it didn`t half hurt, I cried out, but there`s nobody to say "what have you done, are you alright?"

June and all you lovely ladies who have commented. I lost my husband two years ago and I could never have imagined the loneliness I feel. Nor was I prepared for the fact that grief causes physical pain. Nothing can take that grief away but I do find reading helps me understand that I'm not going mad and that my reactions are normal. I would recommend the book 'A grief Observed' by CS Lewis. I find it particularly moving that it is a man who so openly describes his feelings after the death of his wife.
Everyday I now try to look for some small pleasure. They are all around us but so often in life we are too busy to notice.

shef and my sincere condolences. Just 3 months further down the line than you, but I know just what you are saying.
But assapphire as, we swim...or we sink. Hang on in there, I hope you will find the support and understanding here on GN which I have.

Hi June.....and everyone.....my husband died unexpectedly and suddenly only 6 months ago........I am only just beginning to face the reality of the loss.....and all that it means........I hate it......

I am really sorry for your loss.......and for how it feels......some good suggestions and understanding here.........I am so new to this and such early days.....but just wanted you to know I am thinking of you in your specific situation....and glad you have these forums........shef