Gransnet forums


Granddaughter's death

(20 Posts)
Sarah18 Thu 29-Nov-18 12:28:43

My granddaughter was born with major heart defects.
She died 21 months ago, when she was nearly 6 as
she never regained consciousness after major heart surgery, she was in hospital for over 2 weeks then crashed and died.
My husband and I are very hands on grandparents and were very involved in her life.
We have another 8 grandchildren between us but it does not take away the anguish and loss.
I and my husband had counseling, as did the rest of our family, her Parents and siblings now age 13 and 15.
I was wondering if there are any grandparents who have lost grandchildren and if there are any support groups for grandparents or the need to start some? Sometimes I think only someone in the same position can really understand.

gillybob Thu 29-Nov-18 12:50:01

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your DGD Sarah . Thankfully I have never experienced such a loss and can only imagine how you must feel . Poor little lamb. So young . I didn’t want to just read and run but I’m sure there are others on GN who will share their experiences with you . flowers

Teetime Thu 29-Nov-18 13:19:37

Sarah18 I am so sorry but a desperately sad thing for you to bear. I hope you other grandchildren bring you much joy and comfort. flowers

maryeliza54 Thu 29-Nov-18 13:24:29

Sarah I hope this link helps

It is completely reputable

Cabbie21 Thu 29-Nov-18 13:45:46

Sorry for your loss, Sarah18. My friend’s daughter recently gave birth to a still born baby girl. My friend is utterly distraught, not sleeping, trying to support her daughter. The family are all devastated. I will send her these links, thank you. So instead of looking forward to her first Christmas with a new grandchild, everyone is very sad.
I hope you get some more answers.

teatime Mon 08-Apr-19 13:36:27

I am so sorry for your loss, Sarah18. I know every loss is different, but I feel something similar. My grandaughter died in January 2019. She was 9 years old and had a brain tumour. I am at the very start of a journey that seems to involve huge sadness, anger, disbelief, despair. How to navigate my relationship with my son who adored his daughter and I don't seem to be able to help. How to carry on loving and investing myself in the other grandchildren when I am so afraid.
As far as support goes, it seems to be mostly (understandably) focused on the parents, however I believe the Compassionate Friends talk to all family members when a child has died. I may try to contact them myself when I can get myself together.

Anja Mon 08-Apr-19 13:58:01

Teatime I am so saddened to read this. I too lost a grandchild over 10 years ago so I know the journey you have to take and I won’t kid you, it is going to be hard.

Worst of all is watching your own child grieve for theirs.

If you want to PM me, please do.

(((hugs))) xx

BlueBelle Mon 08-Apr-19 15:44:35

Very very sad to read of this teatime it must be really really difficult for you I can’t imagine how bereft and empty and heartbroken you must be
Nothing I say can help except my thoughts go with you that one day you can feel some peace

Luckygirl Mon 08-Apr-19 15:51:53

So sad to hear this happened to your fear GD - flowers

Day6 Mon 08-Apr-19 15:52:36

Teatime, Anja and Sarah18 I am so very sorry to read of your losses. What a terrible thing to endure. sad

I know others may be of more help in suggesting support groups, but I send my sympathy and warmest wishes to you all.

Nonnie Mon 08-Apr-19 16:02:49

Compassionate Friends is for those who have lost a child and includes all close relatives. So sorry to hear about your loss.

TerriBull Mon 08-Apr-19 16:06:48

So sorry for your loss Sarah and to the other grandmothers who have lost a grandchild flowers

Wobbles Mon 08-Apr-19 16:21:14

Sarah18, Teetime, Anja I'm so very sorry to hear of your losses. My heart goes out to you all. flowers

My GD died in 2014, she was 8 months old.
The grief is with me everyday, the pain comes out of the blue and is like a blow to the heart.
And the greatest pain is knowing I couldn't protect my DC from the devastation of losing their baby.

I'm belong to a FB group called Angel Grannies, they're a wonderful group of Grandmas who have all living with the loss of DGC.

Anja Mon 08-Apr-19 16:41:20

Oh Wobbles I’m sorry to read that xx

KatyK Mon 08-Apr-19 16:45:46

Such sadness flowers

Carolina55 Mon 08-Apr-19 17:06:07

flowers can’t imagine your grief on this one. Love to you all who’ve lost a beloved grandchild x

Doodle Mon 08-Apr-19 20:46:45

teatime I read a post of yours a while ago when you were concerned about your family and have often wondered how you were getting on. I am so sorry to hear you DGD died. You must all be heartbroken.
To you, sarah, anja and wobbles I pray that overtime you find peace from such terrible sadness. So sorry for you all flowers

teatime Mon 08-Apr-19 23:25:24

Thank you all for all your kind words and support. Thank you to Sarah18 Anja and Wobbles for helping me not feel alone and as if I'm going mad.
I will write again but can only do small bits at a time. xx

Wobbles Mon 08-Apr-19 23:32:12


crazyH Mon 08-Apr-19 23:38:08

Oh Sarah, I am so, so sorry. One of my dear friends lost her 3 year old granddaughter about 3 years ago. She hasn't been the same since.
My heartfelt sympathy with all here who have lost a grandchild. Heaven knows how you cope.
I hope you will get comfort from the support groups, knowing that you are not alone. flowers