Gransnet forums

Bereavement

Lost my Dad

(30 Posts)
minxie Sat 15-Dec-18 14:27:38

So, I lost my Dad this week, it was expected but stunned and shocked to say the least.
Huge love to anyone going through the same thing.
Xxxx

minxie Sun 16-Dec-18 09:52:20

My mum went 16 years ago. So they are together again at last. Dad missed her terribly

Billybob4491 Sun 16-Dec-18 09:09:20

Sorry for your loss minxie, but your dad will always be with you in spirit.

B9exchange Sun 16-Dec-18 09:03:00

Even when you know it is coming, it is still a shock, my heart goes out to you at this time of year it is even more difficult. I have learned to live alongside my grief, for both my parents, but it only comes with time. You will get there, but I am sure we all will be thinking of you over Christmas. Is your Mum still with you, can you comfort each other?

sodapop Sun 16-Dec-18 08:49:46

So sorry minxie you have my sympathy thanks

minxie Sun 16-Dec-18 07:45:15

I’d already written Dads Christmas card, so it’s sitting on his mantle piece, just as if he were there

Baggs Sun 16-Dec-18 07:28:54

Condolences, minxie. Even my mum was relieved when my dad's suffering was over but the grieving process is still hard. Go easy on yourself flowers

morethan2 Sun 16-Dec-18 07:25:01

Condolences from me too, I’m sorry for your loss. It’s hard isn’t it. I found a Christmas card from my dad who died five years ago while I was sorting through Christmas decorations and couldn’t throw it away. Take care through these next few difficult weeks.

Grandma2213 Sun 16-Dec-18 00:02:59

So sorry minxie It will be so hard now but as PamelaJ1 says, he will always be with you whatever your religious beliefs. I used to dream about my dad a lot the first year after he died (20 years ago now) until one night he said, 'Look will you stop calling me back all the time! In future I'll only come when you really need me.' Maybe that was my way of accepting he was gone.

Mind you he always came for a visit at about this time of year to watch DSs in their Christmas productions. I can still feel him sitting where he used to sit, having a snooze, even now! He would have loved to see his great grandchildren performing too. Maybe he does through me. I have half his genes after all.

You will learn to remember all the happy times and think of him with affection rather than sadness. Just build up to it day by day. flowers

callgirl1 Sat 15-Dec-18 23:10:00

So very sorry Minxie

GrandmaMoira Sat 15-Dec-18 20:27:17

Sorry for your loss.

nanaK54 Sat 15-Dec-18 20:17:03

Sending kind thoughts flowers

minxie Sat 15-Dec-18 20:08:13

Thank you Ladies, I’m very up and down, but I will get there. As you say one day at a time, trimming the tree today was very difficult. Xx

PamelaJ1 Sat 15-Dec-18 19:32:08

You’ve taken me back a few years.
I was in Aus, he had a big stroke, very unexpected, and I got a call whilst in the Barossa valley.
I flew back, I had another 3 weeks of holiday left so stayed with mum and did the probate.
It made me feel as though I was still showing him I loved him and helped enormously.
?
It’s a long time ago now but he’s still with all of us.
Your dad will be too.

Jane10 Sat 15-Dec-18 18:03:41

A sad time for you. As others have said, there's no one like your Dad. Mine died on 4th Dec 2003. Even now, not a day passes but I think of him. RIP all the good Dads.

paddyann Sat 15-Dec-18 17:49:53

My Dad died very suddenly in his 60's ,25 years ago.I still miss him every day .You have to take each day as it comes and expect to feel worse some days and able to cope on others.It will get better but it will always be there a space where he should be .Take care of yourself .

FlexibleFriend Sat 15-Dec-18 16:59:05

My Dad died when I was 16, nearly 50 years ago and I still miss him like hell. Life goes on and his influence on me was huge. He was a star.
Heartfelt sympathy

MawBroon Sat 15-Dec-18 16:29:28

Every sympathy Minxie - however expected it may have been, losing a parent is a huge wrench flowers

jenpax Sat 15-Dec-18 16:25:25

Lots of hugs from me ?

BlueBelle Sat 15-Dec-18 16:14:46

I m so sorry Minxe ?
I still remember the sheer pain and panic as my dad died before me still miss him like crazy six years on

Bellasnana Sat 15-Dec-18 16:10:51

Heartfelt condolences from me too.flowers

Scribbles Sat 15-Dec-18 16:05:28

(((Hugs))) for you, minxie.
Dads are special so let yourself grieve but also let yourself smile when you remember the fun and the special moments. Nearly 25 years since my dad went; the pain eases but the memories remain.

dragonfly46 Sat 15-Dec-18 15:54:22

So sorry to hear this minxie. I lost my dad in the summer. He wanted to go as he had no quality of life but as he was 97 I sort of thought he would always be there. I know how you feel - it doesnt make it easier because it was expected.
You will get reminders all the time which will set you back but it does get easier.
[hugs]

BBbevan Sat 15-Dec-18 15:49:38

Very sorry minxie No one quite like your Dad is there?

Humbertbear Sat 15-Dec-18 15:39:34

Minnie - I am so sorry to hear this. The important thing is to be kind to yourself. When my dad died my daughter fielded all phone calls for a week. Let yourself cry when you need to. Think about the good times and what your dad taught you and how that is still inside you forever.
You will gradually feel better, believe me, but I won’t pretend it doesn’t take a long time. Best wishes xxx

Bikerhiker Sat 15-Dec-18 14:43:08

Sorry to hear that.

Sending you hugs. X thanks