Death in the family

My husband died very suddenly years ago. In the months that followed whenever I heard couples arguing in public it made me feel like saying to them "please be kind to one another", I never did, but I can remember thinking at the time how we probably take one another for granted in a long term relationship.

My sister died a few weeks ago, she was 61 she had been married for 41 years, I feel so sad seeing my BIL trying to cope with everything and find myself thinking how my husband would just not cope if I was not here, he can't cook or work the washing machine etc, I have found myself writing all sorts of things in a note book so if he is the one left on his own he would have all the information he will need to get through each day .

I am sorry to hear about the death of your brother in law Grannyrebel . 42 years is such a long time to be with someone isn't it?

I think often its a case of not knowing what you have until it's gone Kupari . My DH and I spend almost every hour of our lives either at work, or worrying about work . Sadly one day one of us will be left alone and will no doubt look back and think how we wasted our lives.

Hi Grannyrebel so sorry to hear of your brother in laws death . My BIL died back in November after 52 years of marriage and in December it was my brother . It’s so hard for my Sister to keep going , she puts on a very brave face but I know she is struggling . Certainly makes you think about your own mortality . We should all learn to cherish every moment x

Sorry to hear about your BiL but glad you are being so sensitive for your sister.

Imo a death of someone close has an impact on the family beyond grief. Such a loss in our family has meant we all keep in touch, sometimes about nothing much at all, just a contact. Our DSs seem to feel the need to check on us quite often and I wonder if it has made them think that we won't be around always.

I don't think it has changed the way DH and I treat each other, we are human, do sometimes disagree and are not always patient with each other.

Perhaps we treasure the times when the whole family are all together rather more than we used to. Not sure but such times are very special.

My daughter-in-law, who lives in Australia, lost her beloved father on Good Friday. They can't afford to come over to the UK for his funeral, and I am, sadly, not able to help with the fare.
I feel so sad for her. She hasn't seen him for 10 years and now has to come to terms with his loss, unable to say a proper last goodbye to him.

Losing a long-term partner is awful and we can only try to be kind to each other, can't we? for those who are recently bereaved.

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