chelseababy. I noticed how quickly bereaved men moved on too. I was still in shock, kind of numb, three years after my husband's death. It was suicide so that can be very difficult. Then along came "Fred" whose wife had died about 5 months previously and he was very dapper, older than I, had it all worked out for our union and where we would live etc. I was horrified! I hardly knew him! He was very difficult to shift too. Would you believe it? Soon after him came "Fred @2" ! Same story - late wife buried about six months, he hd "seen" me at the choir for years "knew" we were "exactly right" for each other...
I actually got into a panic! I really did not want to be with anybody until I was ready and if that took forever I did not care!
I am sorry georginamartin, I think your getting together has nothing whatsoever wrong with it, but you must be prepared that it's not just grief that takes a long time, it's the whole effect of having lived your life with another person for so many years. You may be just right together, but give it time to go through all the ups and downs that happen in the time after the death of a spouse. If you can do this together, it will make you closer.
I simply could not take on anyone else after what I had been through. I had children too and was only 42 at the time so I really needed time to recover. This was just me and the particular circumstance I was in.
When we are retirement age, we know we don't have so long, so I don't blame your man for wanting you even though his wife had not been dead all that long. Also, I notice that if a death was from an illness such as cancer, people are prepared for the passing and have started to think about how they will go on after they lose the loved one.
I wish you both every happiness. I would say, keep talking. Do not get upset, be honest with each other, let him work it through. He wanted you and is with you, support him. If you think it will help, ask for couples counselling.
With best wishes for a long and happy future together, Elle x