I come from a family of undertakers. Before my dad died he told us he didn't want a fuss, and to just put his ashes anywhere, don't worry about visiting as he wasn't there, it was just ashes. Now he is gone I think he did a great thing. His ashes are buried in a church cemetery near where he lived, in an unmarked plot. It is in a lovely patch, but it is about 3 hours drive for me to get there. Because he made it clear life is for living and not to waste time visiting a grave, it really helped lighten the guilt of not visiting. He also said that funerals are for those left behind. Who cares what happens at the funeral? Not yourself as you aren't there! So I will say to my loved ones that if I die, have a party, cremate me, do whatever with the ashes, but don't live with any guilt that you should visit the ashes. It isn't me, I am not there. Have whatever funeral you like. Maybe a nice little service in some woods or nature somewhere, because that would be a great way to remember me, as I love the outdoors, and I think it would be great to have a lovely woods to go visit, but seriously, if they want to do whatever, let them!