I think I will feel better if I return to my home town

Could you afford to rent in Whitton or nearby for 6 months? I live in Teddington, but worked in Whitton first for a doctor and then in the library, I still go there every week to the community centre with my upholstery group. I have always found it to be a very friendly place and the transport links are very good. Also if you are a"certain age" you get free public transport all over London which is wonderful.

Mosaic I am sorry for your loss. It is very hard to find your stride after losing a loved one.

I don't know you but am wondering how long ago you lost your spouse. I have heard some very good advice not to make a major life change within the first year or so after such a loss. We are still grieving.

It may be worth taking some small steps toward connecting locally first. Try a Meetup (an online resource that helps people find interest groups that are happening in your area) or a class (I have tried acting, yoga, spinning on a spinning wheel among other things), or a club (photography, quilting, a walking club), or a volunteer activity (reaching out to help others often helps us as much as them).

And before you move consider whether you are moving toward something that will help you grow or just trying to find solace.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

humptydumpty.Me too. Having moved thirty years ago from a part of the country where I had spent my childhood and most of my married life I know I could never go back.The past is the past.

That's something I'd forgotten too Dianic - Kneller Hall.
In the storms of 1986 I was so worried about my Mum, she used to walk the wall to the bus stop. She stayed at home that day luckily - sadly it did collapse on someone My neighbour's garden wall was also blown down. So frightening, I was teaching at Richmond College at the time, we were evacuated when the roof came off the sports hall.

My grandma used to live in Milner Drive, my aunt on the Warren Road. As a child I was bought up at 63 Hounslow Road, when my parents divorced my Mum moved to Whitton Dene. My best friend had a studio flat near to Chase Bridge, can't remember the name of the block. I can't imagine what Mogden smells like now! My husband and I couldn't afford Whitton proper when we married, we bought in Dean Road behind the South Western pub - called 'Whitton borders' at the time!

Feel better just talking to people who know the area. Thanks for writing. Back to looking at new builds!

I live on the south coast, have met many people who wished they never moved, as they've left everything familiar behind. Doctors, hospitals, etc. full of old people, difficult to get appointments, busy roads at certain times. Why not make some new memories instead?
Somewhere suitable for increasing age, a bungalow with mod cons within walking distance of shops, surgeries, etc.? Good public transport would be a must.

My dear aunt had a very happy married life but no children. She and her wonderful husband lived all their married life in Herefordshire and were very happy there with lots of friends and activities. When he died at the early age of 63, she was lost without him. She decided to move back to South Wales to be closer to her one remaining sister, who was widowed with two daughters. Neither of them drove and she bought a house on the opposite side of town to her sister. They hardly ever saw each other and the two daughters both had jobs and families, so weren’t able to visit much. We lived 90 miles away and had a toddler and my husband had his own restaurant, which was very time-consuming, so we were only able to visit occasionally, although I phoned her a lot. She was very lonely and called me more and more. She refused to get a TV for company. Things went downhill and she developed dementia. Then she slipped on the stairs and broke her hip. She was unable to go back to her house. I had to go down there with toddler in tow and look at care homes for her. We had to sell her house to pay for it. Her dementia was terrible and she couldn’t communicate, but we knew she was desperately unhappy. She fell out of bed and broke her hip again but the doctors said it was too dangerous to operate. Eventually she passed away, after a lot of suffering. If she had stayed in Herefordshire, she was within walking distance of everything and had many friends who would call in. Going back never works! (I loved Felix Dennis’s poem, by the way!)

We left our house in Hampton in 1977 to go to the Netherlands for 2 years. The 2 years extended to 18 and meanwhile we kept the house. I had lovely memories of our first house and was excited to see it again when we got back. It was such a disappointment. Hampton was not the sleepy village I left but a graffitied town. We could not wait to move north to the East Midlands for a new start. I often think I would like to go back to the Netherlands but even there things have changed and moved on. I would never go back - always look forward - it is far more exciting.

Only do it if you can take off your rose covered glasses and are prepared to put in a lot of work!
I returned to my home town after only 5 years away, after my marriage broke up and even though physically the place hadn't really changed all that much ( I knew about the housing developments that had taken place) but socially I was a complete newcomer!
All of the friends I had known for years had moved away either because of marriage or work and in fact I had lost contact with them - letters and Christmas cards had not been returned even though sent to their parents address, and the few times I met up with them, I just drew a blank when trying to pick up the friendships and haven't seen them since!
I had to work hard at making a completely new social circle that changed every few years as people moved away with their partners jobs!
Maybe try somewhere nearby that may prove to be cheaper or when it comes down to it, why not the Isle of Wight?

I would never go back because how I remember somewhere is not how it is today

I live in Twickenham, not far from Whitton. It's still fairly quiet and laid back (I grew up not far away and went to Twickenham County school). For a dog-owner, being round here is pretty much as idyllic as it can get in the suburbs. You already know how many parks you would be close to. Crane Park is always full of cheery dog-walkers, plus there's Marble Hill and Richmond Park. Can you spend some time down here before committing, look around closely, check out the shops and the area again before you make such a huge decision?

You have eliminated your old road as a potential for a new start. What is the rest of the town like? Places deteriorate and then often improve.could there be such an area in your home town especially is you are looking for a flat. If the town in general still has a 'buzz' for you an other area in it could be the answer. Left my home town 10 years ago and certainly wouldn't go back especially to same area in it.

I'm not sure about the adage "Never go back'. We have returned to Orkney 3 times since 1974 for extended periods and are hoping that we will be 3rd time lucky and stay forever now. However, I have kept in touch with friends made there in the 70's and had a job for 6 years during our second sojourn so made more friends. I could not move anywhere I had no friends. Lossiemouth is where I spent the most time as a child. It is beautiful and my other favourite place. I know no-one there now, though, and could not live in a place where I did not have a circle of friends. It depends on what is important to you mosaic.

Things change and time goes on , so don't think it will be the same if you return . You need to be where you have family or good friends round you .

Septimia
Surrey is a very big place. Most of it is a far cry from being dirty, dusty and smelly.

Lol don't go back to Whitton

I become very nostalgic and homesick for my birthplace, and for the place we lived when the children were small. Where I live now will never really be home although my children grew up here. But when I think of returning, I realise it’s not a place I miss, but a time, and people, and they will never come back. So I’m afraid mosaicwarts we have no choice but to move forward, however much the past pulls us back. The poem says it all really.

Mosaic I was worried that you would hate the poem! I love it. Have a look around where you are now because at least it is familiar. We moved six years ago for my husband’s benefit, it has taken me a long time to get to know anyone but at least I have people to pass the time of day with now. Think very carefully before you uproot your self.

I'm a Hounslow girl myself OP, but I did live in a shared flat in Whitton when I was young. Wow! That's brought back memories... do you remember the Military School of Music, was it? Kneller Hall? I shared with a couple of squaddies who were in the "Band"... I think you'd hate it if you went back there to live, personally, but the south coast is still lovely. We're up in the East Midlands again now and I miss the coast, but the medical treatment DH gets here is brilliant so we are staying put. Saving for a small campervan so we can do days out with our dogs and DGS. Foreign travel is off the cards now after his lung cancer surgery last year (and my heart attack!). We hope that by going on these small adventures, we may happen upon somewhere we'd like to see out our days...
Good luck and enjoy the trip down memory lane if you do visit Whitton, Hanworth, etc.

I've often thought I would like to return to Norht Devon/Exmoor where I have very happy chbildhood memories - but then I realised that the people I loved (parent, grandparents) are all dead - and that's what I miss most..

I think that Whitton will have changed so much from all those years ago and you would find it so busy after living in Northumberland.
I'm not sure that you can 'go back' as everything will be so different from what you remember as a child. Can you join in some groups where you are, or find somewhere down south which will suit both you and your dog, with some open spaces? A small town, perhaps, which has groups such as U3A or WI which you could join to make new friends?

Good luck.

Have you ever been on a fabulous holiday then gone back because you enjoyed it so much? Almost with an exception it's a disappointment. Keep your happy memories. We took GGM on a tour of her old stamping ground and she was in tears by the end. All her memories were gone - the school, the pub her old home etc

Love the poem midgey, says it loud and clear doesn't it!

How lovely to wake up to all of your comments, thanks for taking the time to write.

I will go on a sentimental journey there and visit my mother's grave at Hanworth. I had no idea Heathrow was so busy now, and had forgotten about the rugby disruption. My husband so loved the rugby. I can still hear him singing sweet chariot - we had it playing in the church at his funeral.

I was thinking about my lack of friends last night, and why I am so alone. Steve and I were so happy in each other's company, when he died I realised I should have made more effort to maintain friendships. He'd been so ill with his heart for four years I had refused invitations as I felt anxious leaving him home alone. We lived quietly and he had good friends at the golf club, the cricket club, and the local pub where he ran the darts team in the village.

When we moved here in 1999 I did make friends at the school gate, and we did have a good social life when the children were younger. I opened the village youth club, and was also chair of the PTA. However, I am ten years older than the majority of the parents as I had the children at 37 and 39. Most of the people here have their extended families surrounding them and are now busy looking after their elderly parents. I still have one original school gate friend, but she is very busy with her AC and poorly MIL, we meet for coffee every now and again for a 'catch up'. A very good friend I made here sadly passed from cancer five years ago - I've lost many friends here to it. I survive with the affection shown to me by my two best friends in London - during the beast from the east when I was house bound for five days, both of them phoned me.

I will return to my original thoughts of looking at the south coast, thank you for the encouragement.

www.felixdennis.com/Poet/Never-Go-Back.aspx
Think this really sums up how I feel about your idea!

We moved from Surrey to the Durham/Northumberland border. I've been back to visit but I wouldn't move back. It's noisy, dirty/dusty and smelly; the traffic is horrendous. Yes, there are places that I loved about my birthplace, and still do, but even they don't draw me back.
The Northumberland coast is lovely, but not much fun if you're lonely. May I suggest that you do some research about different places that you find attractive or near to friends and see whether any of them have activities that you are interested in? Then, perhaps, that would help you choose where to go.