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(12 Posts)
lure1959 Tue 01-Oct-19 11:22:54

It is 12 months to the day my Dear wife fell in a coma now it is as pain full ever i spent the next two weeks by her side in hospital i must say i am finding it harder second time round so pain full I know i have weeks of this to come my kids are strong thank god work have been good with time off when will it pass sad

ninathenana Tue 01-Oct-19 11:34:58

My sympathies lure a very sad situation.
I do find your post slightly confusing though. Understandable due to the emotion involved. It's the sentence "I am finding it harder second time around" are we to understand that she recovered the first time and has now sadly lapsed into a coma again ?

lure1959 Tue 01-Oct-19 11:40:33

Srry i mean reliving events ò when it happend

LondonGranny Tue 01-Oct-19 11:46:26

I'm so sorry to hear this.
Even in a coma, people can often hear, so hold her hand and talk, especially about happy memories.

Namsnanny Tue 01-Oct-19 13:41:21

lure ...wishing you peace flowers

M0nica Tue 01-Oct-19 13:58:21

lure The first year is always the worst, remembering all the time 'This time last year', but after a while you do just get used to it. You do not care less, but the pain just becomes part of your life. When this will happen for you? I do not know, everyone is different, but it will come.

But for now you need to get through this anniversary. You have your children to support you. Try to think and talk of the good memories you have rather than dwelling on the sadness at the end. Remember happy family events, holidays, birthdays, shared hobbies - and you can always come back to us here for support. So many of us have suffered the tragedy you have or other tragic losses.

NfkDumpling Tue 01-Oct-19 14:01:55


Hithere Tue 01-Oct-19 15:24:40

I cannot even imagine how hard this is for you.

Is there a support group at the hospital you could join?

lure1959 Fri 04-Oct-19 22:05:18

I have had help for 6months then i went back to full time work'my work mates have seen me on my bad days and have helped all the time good people they are ,I just have to get through thí month many thx for all your kind words

MawB Fri 04-Oct-19 23:59:05

lure The first year is always the worst, remembering all the time 'This time last year', but after a while you do just get used to it
Don't you believe it.
I and many bereaved friends are finding that the second year is worse in many ways as the rest of the world seems to think you are fine when you may be far from it.
IMO there are no time limits, no limits to the pain of loss - you just become better at keeping your feelings locked away when you are out and about. flowers and every sympathy.

Val05 Sat 05-Oct-19 00:24:12

A year when you have lost some one you love may feel like yesterday. How difficult it is to lose some one we love and how any kind of anniversary (birthday, date of loss) can totally relive that awful time when they passed away and the awful feeling of loss and lack of knowing why?haunts us all over again.
Take comfort in knowing that she is at peace (again hard to understand and accept) but she is at peace it is you that is now suffering so dwell deeply in those memories and of things that you used to do together and smile at those good times, you were blessed to have them, take care, chin up and keep walking forward, you still have yourself to think of.... Step forward and take comfort in those years you spent together xx

BradfordLass72 Sat 05-Oct-19 04:16:38

lure1959 I remember you posting when your wife died and subsequent letters seemed to indicate you were coping after a fashion.
Didn't you go back to playing badminton and were thoroughly enjoying it?

But yes, an anniversary brings it all back and you must be very sad.
I'm glad you have a supportive family and friends, that always helps.