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Feeling lonely after my mother's death

(6 Posts)
DaisyHelen Tue 04-Feb-20 14:30:25

Hello, My mother died a year ago, she was my last parent and family member...I'm an only child and I feel so lonely without her..I'm scared of the future and wonder who will help me in case of need..losing my mother also coincides with taking my retirement and giving up my job ....I have tried counselling but haven't found it helpful...maybe I haven't found the right counsellor...Have other people on this forum had positive experiences with counselling or with other forms of therapies? Has someone tried EMDR for bereavement and found it useful?
Have you read books that have helped after your loss and that you would recommend? Thank you

TrendyNannie6 Tue 04-Feb-20 14:42:00

Really sorry to hear this DaisyHelen while I have no experience of counselling I also have lost my mum few years ago and am only child. I found some really good books on bereavement one in particular was losing a mother, i would recommend you going to the library and have a look through the bereavement books, sorry I don’t don’t know what EMDR is. Also at the library they would know of counsellors too, good luck DaisyHelen

Rebecca5 Tue 04-Feb-20 15:04:15

So sorry that your Mum died and to hear that you are feeling so lonely. I was also an only child and lost my Mum 2 years ago. I don't know anything about EMDR but I was put in contact with Cruse bereavement care and had several visits from a lovely lady counsellor who helped me a lot. I live on the South coast but I believe that Cruse have counsellors around the country. Good luck.

cornergran Tue 04-Feb-20 20:17:56

Another only child here. My Mum died over 30 years ago, there’s still a hole in my life daisyhelen so I do understand. A year is no time for grief. I agree, CRUSE could be very helpful. bereavement is their specialism. As I understand it EMDR is best suited for people needing to process trauma and isn’t perhaps the first choice for bereavement. Why not try CRUSE? Wishing you well.

DaisyHelen Wed 05-Feb-20 10:47:10

Thank you very much for your kind messages and support. Indeed EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization reprocessing, it's a sort of technique which involves movement of the eyes and is used to treat trauma and depression. I read it's often used also for people going through grief, that's why I asked if someone on the forum has ever tried it

Hetty58 Wed 05-Feb-20 11:00:48

You mention counselling, therapies and books - which all focus on your loss and how you feel about it. I'd aim for gains, instead.

Get involved in new things, like volunteering, group activities, learning, following interests and exploring. I studied for a degree to focus on something positive, rather than my grief. Grief is individual, goes through stages, takes a very long time - and there's no right or wrong way to do it. Look after yourself in the meantime!