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Coronavirus - should l travel abroad to my sister's funeral

(15 Posts)
Bald1 Fri 13-Mar-20 11:26:43

Hello, l'm in a dilema. My sister passed away unexpectedly and the funeral is next week - in Germany.
I booked a flight and hotel, but now we are being told to avoid crowds and flying.
I would be devastated to miss her funeral, but now l'm wondering whether it is wise to travel abroad and maybe catch the virus or end up in quarantine in a foreign country.
Anyone's thoughts on this would be very appreciated.
Thank you.

Nonnie Fri 13-Mar-20 11:38:42

First I think you should see what the FCO is saying about your particular travel. If they say don't go then don't

You could enquire if there will be a video feed of the funeral, I know some do that if you register in advance. I was in hospital and couldn't go to my sister's funeral and was too late for the video feed so we had a service by my bed at the same time. It was a comfort.

winterwhite Fri 13-Mar-20 11:59:59

Oh Bald1 what a dreadful thing. Personally I would go, if your own health allows, but arrange things so as not to stay longer than you need. Good luck.

Luckygirl Fri 13-Mar-20 13:48:33

I am sorry to hear of your sister's death and send condolences.

I think you can only follow advice on this matter. I know that I would not wish any member of my family at risk to attend my funeral.

Bald1 Fri 13-Mar-20 14:30:45

Thank you Nonnie, that's a good idea about the FCO and video feed.

Bald1 Fri 13-Mar-20 14:37:51

Thank you Luckygirl. You are right, l think they'll understand if l don't go, but not looking forward to telling them.

Mimidl Fri 20-Mar-20 10:29:42

Why don't you ask if they can stream the funeral for you?
The facility is being put into place here because they are planning to reduce the amount of people at funerals and possibly stopping mourners attending completely, with the entire service being streamed to the family at home or funeral directors.
As a funeral director I understand the restrictions being brought in but I can't see us not shaking hands with clients or giving them a hug if they need it.
I realise the need for being careful but when people can't even say goodbye to their loved one in the 'traditional' way, they're going to be even more emotional than normal. sad

Happiyogi Fri 20-Mar-20 10:39:30

Condolences on your loss Bald1.

I think you're very aware of the real risks of travelling so why not remember your sister in your own way, at home, at the time of her funeral. Light a candle if you have one and have a photo of her and allow yourself some time to reminisce and grieve. flowers

BlueBelle Fri 20-Mar-20 10:44:20

I m so sorry for this to happen
If you do go, be prepared to not get back there are not many flights to Europe... are you even sure you can get into Germany
It would be well worth you checking because if there aren’t then you would feel better at knowing you can’t go it wouldn’t be you making the choice

Hetty58 Fri 20-Mar-20 10:48:24

No - the responsible thing to do is to stay at home and send your sympathies. Why put yourself, and others, at risk when it's perfectly understandable/acceptable to not attend.

Hetty58 Fri 20-Mar-20 10:51:46

We've had a recent family bereavement. There will be an unaccompanied cremation and a planned memorial service sometime next year. The majority of mourners are elderly and self-isolating.

glammanana Fri 20-Mar-20 11:24:17

My husband's funeral took place in January this year on the issue of an Intrim Death Certificate if I had to wait for the formal inquest in March I would still be waiting for the service now, we had agreed to hold a memorial service later in the year so I would stay at home at this time and arrange with family to do the same.

Fiachna50 Fri 20-Mar-20 13:01:08

I am so very sorry about your sister's passing. Given the circumstances, Im sure family will understand if you cannot go, heartbreaking as it is. I did think Germany had closed it's borders, unless I have picked that up wrong. Go by the Foreign Office website, however, if you travel against F.O. advice your travel insurance may not pay out if anything happens. Id check with your travel insurance too, if you are determined to go. The other thing being if you became stranded in Germany, what would you do?

Mimidl Fri 20-Mar-20 13:05:44

Just a tip for the planned memorials - some people find it strange not to have something to focus on, mainly because normally there would be a coffin at a funeral.
I've found that a large canvas of the loved one helps, and this company very good at printing canvasses for this purpose, and they are great value.

I hope it helps and if anyone needs any advice please message me x

millymouge Fri 20-Mar-20 13:18:27

So very hard for you, obviously you want to be there but you need to take on board that it might put you at risk. You would also to self isolate on your return. Would it not be possible to have a service for a celebration of her life when things get back to normal. I am sure your sister would not want to put yourself at risk.