Grief is a terrible thing. We do get through it though because despite the howling anguish our own innate life force makes us carry on often when we absolutely don't want to.
It's somehow too soon to hear there will come a day when the agony eases when you are so recently bereaved nannadeb, it's not something you want to hear, at least I didn't. I was so angry, beyond heartbroken, but as junerose and the other posters here have shown the intense anguish of loss lessens tiny bit by tiny bit. I found going to a high place and howling out my pain, screeching like a madwoman helped dull my senses for a while and I was grateful for the brief respite.
You will find a way through...the love of your children and loving kindness of the lovely people here who have shared the stories of their loss will, I hope, eventually be a balm to your battered heart.