Lockdown and dying parent

If he is at home I think it would be OK to visit, but if he is in a home or hospital you may not be allowed in.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bite your fear bullet, and visit your dad for everyone's sake. The likelyhood of you picking up infection is not great although possible. You will regret it forever if you don't get to say goodbye in person.

You will regret not going or ever. Just go.

Sorry ..for ever.

Please go and be with your Mum and your Dad if that is what your heart is telling you to do. Perhaps you could wear a mask to protect your Mum and remove it while sitting at your Dad’s bedside, providing of course that your Dad doesn’t have Covid, if he does then you need full PPE.
I feel very sad for you and wish you well

What an awful situation - wild horses wouldn’t have kept me from my DF. Just go - but be careful. X

Wild horses and govt regulations would not stop me visiting my dying father.

Someone somewhere makes up 'rules' and sometimes ridiculous rules have to be broken. As adults we still have choice and I, personally, would consider breaking this absurd 'rule' and spend valuable time with your father.

Wild horses and govt regulations would nit stop me visiting my dying father

I know exactly how you are feeling and my heart goes out to you. Sadly my father took ill with the Covid virus and hospitalised. I asked the staff if I could visit my father but because my DH was shielding told not to visit. My father died at Easter and I had to say my goodbyes on the evening of Easter Sunday via an iPad. I told him I loved him and was able to reminisce about lovely times we had. I was told that even though he couldn’t speak he could hear me. Try to arrange something to enable you to perhaps do something similar as you can’t be with him. Take care

If your own family is healthy, go.

You will regret it later if you don't, and whether your father needs you or not, your mother certainly does.

You can quarantine yourself when you come home if you feel it is necessary.

I wouldn’t be able to stay away I loved my dad dearly and nothing or no one would stop me being there at the end. I’d do it as safely, as was possible, but I for one could not live the rest of my life with the guilt of not being by his side.

I absolutely would have to go and be with him - what madness is this - we will all go slowly insane to if we are denied the time to be with a loved one who is dying . Sending lots of love to you x

My dad always said of any situation, think what you would regret most. In these circumstances I think I would regret not going more than regret having gone. My sister was ill in England (though she kept from me how seriously ill she was) but kept putting me off from going to see her as she wanted me to wait till she got out of hospital. Unfortunately she never did. I flew in to see her on the day we lost her. I will never forgive myself for not going earlier

I would go see them too, no way I could do anything else in these circumstances. Just be careful. Good luck

Really sorry for the great strain and sadness you must feel. I do not think there is a legal obligation to stay away from someone who is dying even in lockdown. Even when someone is passing from covid in hospital, staff there support visiting relatives in every way possible whilst trying to keep them safe. Are there healthcare professionals caring for your father who you can ask for advice? Sending love x

Go and see your dad. He's dying. It's 'allowed' anyway. Once he's gone, you can't change your mind.

What a terrible and heartbreaking situation. I’m sending you love and hugs. I would have to go and give him a hug but it is up to you. X

So sorry for your predicament, but if it were my Parent I’d definitely be visiting them. Think if you didn’t go then you’d feel guilty for the rest of your life.

My helps mother is dying from cancer. Is at home a hundred miles away but she does visit to support her father at this sad time.

Jen67patte So sorry to read your post. I can't add any advice to what has already been said, except to say follow your heart if you can. Only you know the full situation. Thinking of you and sending you and a hug.

I'm a bereavement counsellor. There is no way you should be distancing yourself. You need to visit for your own mental health well-being and for your father and mother. Make the comparison, your parents could still have a cleaner coming in and that person might be going from one house to another, they could still have a tradesman in who would be doing the same thing - where's the justification in your absence?

Be as careful as you can just go.
Your mum will need you. Dad will be comforted by seeing you, afterwards you can isolate if you think it's needed.
Rules change all the time, and 99% of the time we obay. On this occasion though, just go.
My aunts funeral is this week, we were not allowed into the care home.
Best wishes.

Just go! You’ll never regret it.