morethan I have watched your struggle, your strength and your bravery throughout your dear daughter-in-law's terrible illness, and you have never been far from my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry to know of her distress at the end - that must have been awful to witness and to have to hold in your memory. No wonder you are suffering, you poor thing.
I hope you have someone you can turn to, someone outside the family who can listen and care for you, offer you comfort.
One day at a time, baby steps. You will get there, and we are all here for you any time you want to pour your heart out again
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Parents-in-Law. What do/did you call them?