Christmas cards

Lucky, what a good idea to type a slip to go into the cards for people who don't know about your bereavement. I had one of those last year from a former work colleague. We only keep up via Christmas cards but I was able to write a brief note to her after Christmas and it helped to know that writing her card this year, I wasn't adding her life partner x

This year I could not face sending Christmas cards as my husband passed away recently and I could not send any in my name only, too painful.

Sorry. Meant to type friend does this not friend dies this.

The first Christmas after I lost my darling husband I just didn't send cards as I couldn't face just putting my name. This year, my second Christmas without him, I have my elderly Dad living with me and lots of the cards are joint ones. I often sign cards that are just from me with"love from all at (my address) " as that covers myself and my pets. To my son and best friend I always put my husband's name inside a heart. Another friend dies this (putting her only child's name in a heart) and she told me that it is because he is always held in her heart which is lovely.
It is so hard and my heart goes out to you.

I sent cards after Christmas last year after DH had died on 31st Dec , so was able to let people know at the same time . Still finding it hard signing with just my name this year

glammanana - I am so sorry for your loss. I know how very hard it is to just write the one name on the cards - but I just bit the bullet and did it. It seemed so very strange.

Esspee and Whitewave - thank you for kind wishes.

I have just hit another challenge. I have been at our local pub quiz on zoom, and one of the rounds was Cosmology and Science Fiction and my OH would have answered every question straight off the top of his head - I just kept asking myself where all that knowledge has gone now - died with him - feels a bit pointless to accumulate it all - it meant so much to him....sigh.

I sent a card last year to an old neighbour and her partner and was mortified to receive a lovely card telling that he had died and that I wasnt to be upset that I didnt know. It was such a lovely thing to do that I got really upset.

It's a very difficult time for the people left behind and I was touched that she was so kind.

Esspee

To everyone who is facing a first Christmas without a loved one ?

I second that

To everyone who is facing a first Christmas without a loved one ?

Oh glammanana was it wise to sign the cards from both of you?
If I received a card like that I would be distressed that the sender was losing touch with reality.
What of the people who are unaware of your husband passing? Why would you not let them know?

Luckygirl I am doing the exact same thing as my lovely man died 9th December last year so finding it very tearful sending cards this year,I also didn't realise that people where not aware and cards where sent to both of us.
I have however sent my cards and signed them from both of us as I just not ready to leave him off as yet it is still too raw.

Thanks ann - I had not thought about that either. Now I will be prepared for it.

Luckygirl also be aware that you will get cards addressed to both of you.
Last year was the first year after my H’s death and I did get several to us both.
I just put notes in mine.
I have cut my list this year to very nearest and dearest.

Thank you for your helpful messages.

Yes - it is hard.

I have just typed out a slip to go into those cards that are relevant. It is easier than keep writing it. I had not thought that there might be calls and letters in response to the cards, so thank you for that warning. There always seems to be something new to deal with.

I did not send any at all last year as OH was in the nursing home by then and I was spending so much time there. There must be some people who think I had crossed them off the list.

Give yourself lots of time Lucky and prepare for letters or phone calls too.

It took me days and days to write the Christmas cards after ds had had a stroke in the September. It broke my heart every time I had to explain.

So many sad moments along the way Luckygirl I have no magic words but hope you find peace and a little comfort at Christmas.

Luckygirl isn’t it odd the things which crop up? I gave up on the Christmas cards many years ago, but I think social media will have ensured that my faraway friends know of the Bodach’s death. I fully understand your feelings, and all I can say is that my thoughts and good wishes for a peaceful and happy Christmas are with you.