Letter fr SD Should I respond

Ultimately, other than letting them know of the death, we did not respond to the estranged relative when they replied and wanted more from us. They had made their decision so we decided they could live with it, especially at such a difficult time for us.

She was informed of her father's death, which was a courtesy given that from choice she'd had nothing to do with him for years, so if she'd wanted to attend his funeral it was surely up to her to ask for the details?

Don't reproach yourself. I'm sorry for the loss of your loving and devoted husband x

It's not your battle. As my mum used to say. let sleeping dogs lie.

BTW, I base my response on dealing with an estranged relative at the time of a death myself.

I'm sorry for the loss of your DH.
As far as your SD, I don't think you did anything wrong. Your SD made it clear she didn't want anything to do with her father, so you were just following her wishes. If she regrets it now, that's on her.
As your head is all over the place, this might not be the best time for you to respond. However, if you don't want to leave it hanging and feel you'd rather say something, I would just be honest with her. "SD, I wanted to acknowledge your letter. As I'm sure you can understand, my head is all over the place right now and I don't feel able to respond properly right now. If I have something to respond with later, I will get in touch when things have settled a bit for me." Of course, if you don't feel the need to respond, that could be valid too. I'm not sure there is right or wrong here but it doesn't sound like this is the right time for you to deal with it. Make a decision later and put it aside.

Condolences Droopdrawers on your loss. Honestly ? I would save yourself some stress at this painful time and bin the letter, no response and no further contact with her.

All I can foresee is trouble down the line for you. She's a grown woman and has had plenty of time to put her thoughts forward but has waited until now, when your DH isn't here to defend himself and you're at your lowest.

Take care

Oh what a difficult situation for you. I’m afraid I don’t feel I can give advice because I really don’t know what you should do. I didn’t want to scroll by without responding but I feel others may be more able to offer advice.