Death

“my experiences of death have been brutal”.

I share that with you Whiff.

They are good words for a peaceful death, but like you, I wouldn’t want people to think that it always happens like that.

I think I have only witnessed one where the person I loved slipped quietly away into “a sacred space”.

Just wanted you to know you are not alone?

Thank you Maw for your post. That is my fear, dying alone.

When my father died during the night, my mother didn't contact me until morning, thinking she was protecting me, because I was seven months pregnant.
I only lived five minutes away, but he had been dead for hours, by the time I saw him. ?

Sorry but there was no ‘beauty or magic’ when my father died, it was awful and I had nightmares for months, I missed my Mums death by 10 minutes and still feel guilty about it.

I hope others have better memories of loved ones passings.

As a Humanist, this doesn’t resonate with me at all. If you keep a calm space around their body, and in the room, they're launched in a more beautiful way means nothing to me. I sat with both my parents at the end of life. I’m with you on this topic Hetty58. To each our own.

What wise words I did make a cuppa and sat with my husband I’m not sure how long before I picked up the phone when he died. I was alone and treasure that time.

No one should die alone, unfortunately a lot of us will. With my husband to the end, worst moment of my life losing him, but glad I was with him,

I was with my DH when he took his last breath and had been told by our GP I did not have to do anything immediately.
I found that such a comfort. All our DC were there too.
It felt right.
Sometimes doing things slowly is best.

Having 'been there' it makes no sense to me, personally. The assumptions about the transition and next world apply only to believers in a magical something else.

To me, death is the natural end to life - but the person is gone entirely and there's no grace or beauty in it, just huge relief that their suffering is over. We are left with just a body and memories.

MayBeMaw lovely words. Some of which happened after we watched my husband died. In fact I told him to stop struggling we would be ok . He died a few minutes later.

I am and our family atheists so part doesn't mean a thing to me. But there was no beauty in my husband's dieing he died in agony fighting to breath on full oxygen.

If it gives comfort to people I am all for it. But I have watched 3 people die and each time was just as horrific as the the first time .

If people die peacefully in their sleep then it can be a comfort to those who are with them. But unfortunately not in my case.

Also I think it depends on the age the person is when they die and what they die of. Also the age of the people who are with them.

What she wrote is beautiful but I don't want people who are facing the death of a loved one to think it's always like that.

I don't mean to de track from what she wrote as she wrote from the heart and what she wrote is beautiful.

But I am a realist and my experiences of death have been brutal.

It is an honour to be beside a loved one when they pass.
A disappointment if you are not. Thank you again for this MayBeMaw.

I was with my brother when he died of cancer in 2003 at the age of 49……thank you MBM….

As someone who has been in this position many times I can attest to the beauty and truth of what’s been written here.

Thank you for sharing it MayBeMaw.