Saetana, so sad - and such a shock for you. Please don't concern yourself about how 'well' you're doing, will you?. You are free to grieve in your own way and to take as long as you want as well.
I was widowed at 42, but he lived for three years after he'd been given 'about a year' so it wasn't unexpected. He was 51.
It wasn't helpful (quite the opposite) to be told 'It hasn't hit you yet', conversely 'You're doing very well', - and even 'Why aren't you at home?' by people who, obviously, didn't have a clue what to say, so blurted out anything!
There is some kind of 'buffer', a numbness or cushioning, that allows us to function well for a while. (I was trapped in a thick glass bubble, sheltered from real life.) For me, though, it wasn't followed by a drastic change, just a gradual dawning into true grief.
There was no dreaded day when I suddenly couldn't cope, broke down, cried in public - or 'it' hit me. (I just felt invisibly, yet terribly wounded.) I could really have done without the predictions of it, though, the expectations, from others, about how my grief would or should be.
We get through it in our own, individual way. I was angry, hopping mad in fact, for ages. How dare he get sick and die, leaving me with four children to look after? That anger helped a lot.
