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Bereavement

Adding an inscription to a headstone

(28 Posts)
Biscuitmuncher Fri 05-Aug-22 19:01:53

Does anyone know how much it will cost? My mum had a book style headstone for my dads grave and I'd like to add her name on the other side

icanhandthemback Mon 08-Aug-22 20:53:06

I'll have to find my step-father's grave when it comes to burying my mother. She bought a dual grave but didn't put a headstone up nor has she ever really visited much in the last 30 years. We will need to be detectives!

lixy Mon 08-Aug-22 20:41:52

biscuitmuncher Quite! We greeted it with a sharp in take of breath too.
With this in mind I would second Oops's advice and get three quotes. Good luck!

Biscuitmuncher Mon 08-Aug-22 18:42:30

Iixy £800! Good grief!

lixy Sat 06-Aug-22 21:00:12

When we added MiL to FiL a couple of years ago the stone was taken away, cleaned, carved and replaced. Bill came in just shy of £800.
This was in a rural churchyard in Somerset. Both the Funeral directors and the stone masons liaised closely with the churchwardens. It took a few months but we weren't in any hurry.
Hope it goes smoothly for you.

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 06-Aug-22 19:50:28

It’s probably one of those questions that you first have to go to the Church to find their preferred Stonemasons and then get 3 quotes for the work.

If the headstone has to be moved it will cost more to have it taken away then reinstated and then even more if the stone is fragile.

Cabbie21 Sat 06-Aug-22 19:39:03

I was “ lucky” in that my Mum died just six months after my Dad, and we had not yet ordered the headstone as we were told the grave needed to settle first. The arrangements were made through the undertaker. Unfortunately my instructions were not properly followed and they had to re- do the inscription at their own expense. Sorry, I don't recall how much it cost but it was too long ago to be relevant.

Thorntrees Sat 06-Aug-22 18:35:41

When I wanted to add my Mothers name to the headstone on my Fathers grave I I contacted the mason who originally did the inscription. He removed the stone,did the work and re- sited it. I don’t remember having to approach the chapel authorities I think the mason did what was necessary. I can’t remember how much it cost,expect that would depend on how long it was since the headstone was first erected.

Biscuitmuncher Sat 06-Aug-22 15:56:05

Thank you, everyone for the comments and links

Shirley48 Sat 06-Aug-22 10:40:06

MawtheMerrier

That’s a very useful link Shirley48
My tuppenceworth maybe less so, but alway worth a smile

Alan Bennet tells the story of the Yorkshireman who complained to the stonemason.

“I wanted She was thine You've missed an e off the end.”

“Come back next week and we'll have it fixed for you, Sir.”

He returns the next week.

“Here you are, sir. “

^E, she was thin.^

Love it!!

Spinnaker Sat 06-Aug-22 10:15:05

MawtheMerrier

That’s a very useful link Shirley48
My tuppenceworth maybe less so, but alway worth a smile

Alan Bennet tells the story of the Yorkshireman who complained to the stonemason.

“I wanted She was thine You've missed an e off the end.”

“Come back next week and we'll have it fixed for you, Sir.”

He returns the next week.

“Here you are, sir. “

^E, she was thin.^

Classic grin grin

MawtheMerrier Sat 06-Aug-22 09:42:28

That’s a very useful link Shirley48
My tuppenceworth maybe less so, but alway worth a smile

Alan Bennet tells the story of the Yorkshireman who complained to the stonemason.

“I wanted She was thine You've missed an e off the end.”

“Come back next week and we'll have it fixed for you, Sir.”

He returns the next week.

“Here you are, sir. “

E, she was thin.

Shirley48 Sat 06-Aug-22 07:07:20

Some information here -

www.memorialsofdistinction.co.uk/useful-guides/cost-of-adding-an-inscription-to-a-headstone-uk

StarDreamer Fri 05-Aug-22 23:19:54

Shirley48

^drilling slightly tapered holes into the stone from underneath, that is, into the hidden flat part that lies in the plane of the ground when installed^

Thank you for explaining that in such detail - as a woman (74, ex- teacher, mother of 4, grandmother of 8, ex JP, etc) - I would not have understood otherwise.

I added the second part as I considered there could have without it possibly been uncertainty as to whether the drilling was from that direction or into places low down on the front or rear surface that would be hidden.

I was trying to explain something, I was not trying to answer an examination question where the answer would be read by someone who already knew the answer.

Grammaretto Fri 05-Aug-22 22:45:22

I have recently paid a stone cutter a few hundred pounds to inscribe my DH's name and dates to a family stone. It is granite so incredibly hard especially in situ. I am really pleased with it

MawtheMerrier Fri 05-Aug-22 22:38:08

I think SachaMac has summed it up well and covered most of the issue. The undertaker your mum used when she lost your dad is almost certainly the best person to advise.

Jaxjacky Fri 05-Aug-22 22:00:20

Thank you StarDreamer that’s answered a query for me.

MawtheMerrier Fri 05-Aug-22 21:40:38

Shirley48

^drilling slightly tapered holes into the stone from underneath, that is, into the hidden flat part that lies in the plane of the ground when installed^

Thank you for explaining that in such detail - as a woman (74, ex- teacher, mother of 4, grandmother of 8, ex JP, etc) - I would not have understood otherwise.

grin

Shirley48 Fri 05-Aug-22 21:36:09

drilling slightly tapered holes into the stone from underneath, that is, into the hidden flat part that lies in the plane of the ground when installed

Thank you for explaining that in such detail - as a woman (74, ex- teacher, mother of 4, grandmother of 8, ex JP, etc) - I would not have understood otherwise.

StarDreamer Fri 05-Aug-22 20:53:24

As a side issue, which may not apply here, is that sometimes old headstones become unstable. A stone mason can fix this by removing the headstone to a workshop, drilling slightly tapered holes into the stone from underneath, that is, into the hidden flat part that lies in the plane of the ground when installed, and then inserting long tapered bronze rods into the stone so that the other ends of the bronze rods go into the ground at the cemetery, thus holding the stone firmly in place, with modern technology, yet still looking like it did before.

SachaMac Fri 05-Aug-22 20:09:23

A friend of mine had this done recently, adding her mums name to her step dads headstone in the local cemetery. It was slightly more complicated because her step dads children owned the plot and had to give their permission in writing. The local stonemason came out and took the stone away, inscribed it, cleaned it up and then returned and set it back in place in the cemetery, very few headstones get inscribed in situ unless it’s just a small repair.
It cost just over £400 and it was nothing fancy. If your mum chose an open book with a blank page for your dads headstone I imagine her wishes were for her name to be added to the page when her time came so it would be well worth doing. Would certainly help if you could use the original stone Mason.

StarDreamer Fri 05-Aug-22 19:37:12

There is a practicality over such things as it may well be that only an authorised person will be allowed to do the work.

Perhaps you have already checked this, but whoever is in charge of the churchyard or cemetary, possibly church or parish council, may have a list of who they allow to do such work.

Are you aware of whether the work would be done on site or would the headstone be moved to a workshop for the work to be done and then the headstone resited?

Do you know which funeral director was used for your father's funeral? It is possible that the headstone was arranged by the funeral director.

25Avalon Fri 05-Aug-22 19:24:47

A monumental mason will be able to tell you.

StarDreamer Fri 05-Aug-22 19:22:05

There are several headstone threads.

LINK > www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4594765-would-you-pay-ps400-to-add-an-inscription-to-a-headstone-for-someone-you-never-knew

This one is last updated in 2021.

LINK www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/3562994-Cost-of-a-headstone

Calendargirl Fri 05-Aug-22 19:18:20

Why not ask a business who does headstone inscriptions?

GrannySomerset Fri 05-Aug-22 19:16:29

Talk to a local funeral director.