Dealing with banks etc

Your bank should have a bereavement services team.
I dealt with this for my mothers estate, everyone I spoke to was kind and professional.

I’m sorry to read your sad news Bankhurst

Same here Sago - other than Barclaycard (long story) once the Bereavement option was selected/mentioned, things moved along, albeit slowly.
Bankhurst do you have to do it all so soon? Can you just tackle the most pressing first - I was still wading through some financial ‘stuff’ months after my DH died.

As Sago says banks and pension services have bereavement services you have to just be methodical and work your way through the dross to get through to them. They are very helpful. Could you go into the bank and ask for a bereavement colleague?
I am sure it’s difficult at such a sad and stressful time. I’m sorry for your loss.

Yes, when FiL died the bank had a specialist team and they were very helpful.
It might help if you can get to the branch. Otherwise just press the first number that seems vaguely appropriate and I'm sure they'll transfer you to the right person or at least tell you which extension you need.

I’m sorry for your loss. Sago is right, if you ring any organisation just ask for their bereavement department. They will always be helpful. Perhaps you have a friend or relative who could help you.

It’s difficult at first, as long as you have access to bank accounts don’t rush, it will get easier. If you have immediate problems get a friend or relative to help out.
So sorry for your loss

So soŕry Bankhurst ... have just been though this as my husband died suddenly in sep. My advice is to make a list of all the companies you need to deal with and google their bereavement contact details. That way you will get through to a sympathetic person quite quickly.

My DH’s occupational pension provider are the worse. Only an answerphone and they don’t get back to me, no response to an email. While I’m not in need of money immediately, I would like to know if I’m entitled to anything in future

My husband died two weeks ago. Funeral is next Thursday. i can't cope with trying to change bills and direct debits over to my name. Just keep crying. My daughter is helping me but now Christmas is upon us. Today is just awful .. constant anxiety attacks. Am alone at the moment. Think I'm cracking up. Sorry for the rant.

adrisco

Oh so sad - for everyone who is struggling

Banks have changed since the closure of so many branches but I found RBS really sympathetic and helpful when I went into the branch shortly after DH died. I was referred to the Bereavement Team and nothing was too much trouble. Everything was in our joint names apart from DH's ISAs and some bonds and shares. I took a photocopy of of the will with me showing me to be executor and sole heir which seemed useful. I could not fault them. Can you take a family member or a close friend with you when you need to see people.
Have you used the TellMe Once facility too?
It's a rubbish job at possibly the worst time in your life so I hope you get some support and also sympathetic service.

This is the worst time of year for being sad and lonely so hope you can find someone to talk to, even a chat with the Samaritans will help 🌺

You can register a death with Tell Us Once and this will cover several government departments and might save some time. Here is some info:
www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once

This is all part of What to do when someone dies
www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies

Bankhurst,Adrisco and Womblekelly, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It is a very difficult time and I do hope you have some family support to see you through all the administrative chores. It can be so hard to cope when you are grieving.

Bankhurst - a friend refers to the paperwork following bereavement as sadmin. I don’t want to add to anyone’s stress or despair in the midst of the loss of your husband but, my experience of Tell us Once was dismal. It was ineffective with the DWP and with my husband’s occupational pension provider. I am fortunate in having my own occupational pension and savings, otherwise I’d have been under awful financial pressure.

I told used the tell us once form when I registered my husband’s death on 11.10.22. I received nothing from his occupational pension until March.

My bank’s bereavement service was dire. I made an appointment with the manager. On arrival I was told a trainee would be observing. I agreed to this but pointed out it would have been better customer service to ask if I was ok with being observed at such a difficult time. I was shown into the room by a bouncy, giddy young woman who told me she was training in the bereavement scheme so might not know everything. She knew very little. I was just unlucky with the bank. On other occasions it’s been good. The bereavement specialists are usually good.

Apologies for the whingefest. I won’t say anything about the DWP 😱. Amazon was brilliant.

adrisco, your post wasn’t a rant, tho I’m afraid mine is. Bereavement at this time of year is so tough. Be gentle with yourself and cry when you need to.

I found having a list, working my way through it and keeping a note of what was said/agreed helped. Also, don’t expect too much of yourself. If one phone call a day is what you can manage, that’s ok. So is having a complete day off from it. Look after yourself x

Very sad. My condolences to all the bereaved. Just want to say, if you get caught up in the 'press 1 for.....or 2 for.....etc' on the phone, it's a good idea to not press any of them and eventually a real person (remember those?) usually comes on the line although you may have to wait a while. So annoying, isn't it?
I truly wish I did not have to have a bank account. DH is very anti computer banking but it gets harder and harder not to have an online account. Which, of course, is what the banks want us to do. Grrr.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and also that of others who are struggling with this at the moment. My DH died in April last year and I know I couldn’t have dealt with all the admin on my own, so my heart goes out to anyone having to deal with it alone. We found “tell us once” very effective and, really, the only difficulty we had was with the provider of one of my husband’s pension providers - a very large insurance company. Their bereavement service reduced me to tears on more than one occasion and their incompetence resulted from them having lost all the paperwork we had sent them. The matter became protracted so I wrote to their CEO a polite but very forthright letter (what my son referred to as a gold plated snottogram!) laying the problem out for him. Within a week, it had been settled and I had a lovely written apology from him, and compensation for the distress they had put me through. It’s no easy thing; “Sadmin” is a very good description, Iam.

DH died unexpectedly in June. He left a straightforward will, no property involved, no letter of wishes, just money. Our bank was helpful, Tell us Once worked well, the funeral directors were excellent, we're still waiting for a date for the Inquest but I'm really struggling with Probate. Going round in circles for what I thought would be straightforward.

Sorry all of you are still going through hassle after a death. I would have thought by now every company would have a bereavement department. Sadly it seems nothing has changed much since my husband died in 2004 aged 47. In those days every thing was done on paper and took weeks to get anything done because everything had to be posted.

It's hard enough dealing with your grief without feeling like you are hitting your head against a brick wall of bureaucracy.

I remember on telephone call I had to make and the woman on the end of the phoned instead on speaking to my husband . I treat people how I want to be treat and don't lose my temper when dealing with people but on this occasion I remember shouting what don't you understand he is xxxxxxx dead . Of course she put the phone down on me . I phoned back and asked for the head of the department finally I got to speak to the person and gotten sorted out. But he said I shouldn't have swore at a member of his staff I pointed out it was his member of staff who was at fault insisting on talking to my dead husband. What didn't they understand about the word dead. I did offer to describe exactly how my husband died . But he apologised and said that wasn't what he was told . So I said listen to the recorded conversation.

Few weeks later had a letter of apology and that member of staff no longer worked for the company.

We always knew from January 2001 my husband wouldn't live 5 years. When he was terminal in October 2003 we changed everything to my name apart from the house as it was jointly owned. Opened another bank account which we put in a lump sum and it was what I called the household account for all the bills.

I was 45 in those days I got £2,000 from the government to help with funeral costs . But gave it to our children aged 20 and 16 as we had put the money aside for the funeral. Only other help I got was when my son went to uni didn't have to pay the tuition fee. And that was it.

Due to disability I couldn't work nor would DWP let me claim any disability benefits which we had fighting for since 1988 and my health got worse. Because I had no diagnosis. Luckily my husband's private pensions paid out lump sums apart from one which I still get £29.56 every month the amount has never changed.

Won't say about my fight to get disability benefits but it took me 35 years to get them.

My next fight with be with DWP over my portion of my husband's state pension. 2 months ago I contacted them as I will be 66 in April. I was told because my husband had paid 30 years full NI contributions which at the time he died was the requirement amount for a full state pension I will get half of his pension. When the letter came to confirm what I had been told the letter said I would get 48p a week . My husband paid a lot of NI contributions as he earned a good salary. So even though he has been dead for nearly 20 years I will have to fight all over again.

Had to go through all the things dealing with my dad's death in 2007 and my mom's in 2017. Nothing had changed in those days. The worst offender in both cases was the post office over their state pensions.

At least with my husband we knew we had a time limit on his life. For those of you who had no warning it's doubly worse. My friends husband died a year ago she is still having to deal with one company who keep asking for more information. He died suddenly they had no warning .

Grief in my experience is all consuming it eats away at you and in my experience it never gets easier as the years go by but you just learn to cope. But nearly 20 years on grief can still overwhelm me.

I hope you all have some help dealing with the aftermath of the death of your loved one . As it's hard one your own .

Sorry this is a ramble but with technology I would have thought things would have been easier but its just has hard . And that saddens me .

My heart goes out to you all. 💐

So sorry to read of recent losses. It is 8 months since DH died and there is still admin to sort. Lloyds Bank have been excellent but I am still battling with PayPal who won’t release refunds because the account is closed! RBS are being very patient until that is sorted.
The worst is Teachers Pensions who have not provided the paperwork and correct figures to HMRC. I am hoping NS& I don’t give me any bother now that I have got Probate, which was easier than I expected.

I really feel for people who are desperate for their money to come through at this difficult time. There are days when I just get on with it then others when I just haven’t the will power to tackle any more paperwork and figures.

Bankhurst so very sorry to hear of your troubles with the bank I too had all this problem nearly a year agon but was fortunate enough to get into the bank to speak face to face with the bereavement advisor. Keep perceivering with the phone you will get there eventually. 💐