I think many of the adjustments you have to make are made for you.
Shopping for instance- depressing for one and it’s easy to end up with a fridge full of leftovers.
Going out - do you hope kind friends will include you or take your courage in both hands and take the initiative, aware that you will feel rejected even if they are simply not free.
You buy a book on Amazon because he would have liked it.
Yes, you are you own boss and can eat cornflakes for lunch or stay in your pj’s all day but that novelty wears off all too quickly.
You change the answerphone message on your phone, because “we are not available” sounds like the Queen
Suddenly it’s “my house”, “my bedroom ” “my children” but you still say “our”
If I may quote
YOU DON’T JUST LOSE SOMEONE ONCE
You lose them over and over,
sometimes in the same day.
When the loss, momentarily forgotten,
creeps up,
and attacks you from behind.
Fresh waves of grief as the realisation hits home,
they are gone.
Again.
You don’t just lose someone once,
you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,
and as you awaken,
so does your memory,
so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,
they are gone.
Again.
Losing someone is a journey,
not a one-off.
There is no end to the loss,
there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,
when it washes over.
Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea,
they have a journey ahead of them,
and a daily shock to the system each time they realise,
they are gone,
Again.
You don’t just lose someone once,
you lose them every day,
for a lifetime.
#griefpoem #losspoetry #griefjourney