What will be the date of death?

Lofty47

Yes it is important that time of death is on the certificate. But imagine the shear trauma suffered by a young neighbour of mine. He was caring for his mother at home. She was due to go back to hospital in a few days time.
He put her to bed but by the next morning she had died. He rang the GP to get him to sign the death certificate. GP refused to come. GP lives/works only 10 mins away. Undertaker could not do anything until death certificate had been issued.
So he rings the police and two officers turn up. They ring GP but still he won’t come. They ring the Coroner but it takes 2 hours for her to reply. She instructs the GP to certify the death. Finally GP turns up for the 10 minutes it took.
What a waste of police time they took a good 4 hours just to cover an obstinate GP.
Oh the hospital had forgotten to tick the “palliative care “box
Not a good experience for a very gentle 50 year old who was wanting the best for his mother.

Oh that is horrific!

My best friends Mum was in a care home, and had only recently been moved there (N. Wales to the Midlands) because someone at the home reported that a carer had spat at her!

She had been there a few weeks, had never been seen by the new GP, and wasn't written up for any end of life medication.

My friend, her daughter was called late evening by the home telling her that she really ought to go in as her mum was deteriorating. She arrived to find the carer looking after her in tears as she didn't know what to do, as her mum was choking. The GP wouldn't come out, there was no medication with which to help things along, so my friend who many years ago trained at \Great Ormond Street as a Paediatric Nurse asked if there was any suction. Fortunately the care home was attached to a nursing home so the carer ran to get it. Sadly, although it helped a little, her mum literally drowned in her own secretions. What is about GP's nowadays? It's their damned job! My SIL had this problem during Covid, the GP's would not come out, and wanted him to certify the death, which he refused to do, as it wasn't HIS job. This is what my esteemed MP Danny Kruger thinks is a far better option than 'Assisted Dying' ... I think NOT!

Yes it is important that time of death is on the certificate. But imagine the shear trauma suffered by a young neighbour of mine. He was caring for his mother at home. She was due to go back to hospital in a few days time.
He put her to bed but by the next morning she had died. He rang the GP to get him to sign the death certificate. GP refused to come. GP lives/works only 10 mins away. Undertaker could not do anything until death certificate had been issued.
So he rings the police and two officers turn up. They ring GP but still he won’t come. They ring the Coroner but it takes 2 hours for her to reply. She instructs the GP to certify the death. Finally GP turns up for the 10 minutes it took.
What a waste of police time they took a good 4 hours just to cover an obstinate GP.
Oh the hospital had forgotten to tick the “palliative care “box
Not a good experience for a very gentle 50 year old who was wanting the best for his mother.

pandapatch

You can put whatever date you like or no date at all

Thanks pandapatch.

That's sort of what I imagined to be the case, but I wasn't sure.

For the bereaved family upset by the discrepancy between the actual date of death and that recorded on the certificate, I imagine it at least gives some comfort being able to have the correct one on the gravestone or other memorial.

Foxygloves

Gravestones are not always so specific. Although of course they can be - as the next of kin ordering the stone will agree what is to go on it.
Generally the year suffices.

But if the next of kin wants to be very specific, perhaps precisely because the actual date of death is different from that on the certificate, is there anything to stop them doing that. Can a stonemason, for example, put exactly what they say?
I would like to think that is the case, but for all I know there might be rules / laws in place that require such details to match the death certificate.

You can put whatever date you like or no date at all

Gravestones are not always so specific. Although of course they can be - as the next of kin ordering the stone will agree what is to go on it.
Generally the year suffices.

Good point Oldnproud

Just as a matter of interest, does the next of kin have a right to decide what date is put on a gravestone etc. if they know for certain that the date of actual death was different from that on the certificate?

My mother died on Easter Sunday. She always came to me on a Sunday from her care home, she had last stage dementia. I always hoped she would pass away at my house with me, but my work schedule changed, and I was working that day.

I took my dad to hospital and stayed with him for about 6hrs till he was settled on a ward, I then went home thinking I would return next day to take him back home to his bungalow, as we didn't think it was serious, but he passed away just an hour after I left. They said they tried to phone me but was phoning my brother as he was down as the next of kin, [his phone was switched off]. I was so upset about it all, it was such a shock! I've never looked on the death certificate for time of death, I will now check that out. Learnt a lot from reading this thread.

So sorry to everyone for their sad loss

I have no idea at what precise time any of my family died.

Apart form anything else, my mother and aunt died in their sleep. They were just found dead.

I actually also find it very difficult to remember the exact dates that people die on by the second anniversary. I will remember all their other life dates in detail and the month of their deaths.

My sister died on Good Friday or Easter Sunday, depending on the defintion of death, my mother early July, my father early November, but more detailed than that I cannot go. Whether it is a protective mechanism, or what, I have no idea.

It seems to me OP’s question has been answered.
Many of us will have memories of being at the death of a loved one - in my case my father and my DH, and I take comfort in knowing I was there. But everybody’s experience will be different and apart from instances where perhaps inheritance is concerned - does the time or date really matter all that much?

I have no doubt that my father waited to die until he was moved from the open ward (in a cubicle with curtains closed) to a side room while my sister and I nipped out for a cup of coffee, after 5 hours by his bedside. He was always an intensely private man and was waiting to be alone to finally relax and let death have its way.

I was with DH when he died and noticed that it was 3.50pm. I sat with him for about 10 minutes before I called anyone and then had to wait for a doctor to come and confirm death. I can't remember now what time was actually put down.

My son also died over a bank holiday weekend and according to those with him he collapsed and died on the spot. When I spoke to the coroner he said very firmly that ‘death occurred when I say it did’ making it clear the official version overrides facts. It matters to loved ones, of course it does, but we have to remember that registration is a government activity meant to count the population.

Fleurpepper

Losing someone close is devastating, and we are all different.

Personally, I truly can't see how the exact time of death has any importance or meaning.

A friend of mine had an aunt who was a widow with a daughter who married a widower who also had a daughter. The aunt had dementia, and the couple both died of carbon monoxide poisoning in their car. His daughter was kicking up a fuss regarding what she should inherit, but her daughter wasn’t bothered, apart from some of her mum’s jewellery.
However, it transpired that the man’s death was registered as occurring before his wife, therefore she inherited everything, albeit only for minutes, and therefore so did her daughter.

Also, when the Bodach was dying the doctor told me to go out for some air, and I said I was afraid he would die while I was out. She did say that maybe he didn’t want me there, as many people don’t, and indeed, that’s what happened.

MASH anyone? I remember the episode where they were trying not to have to record a death on Christmas Day. They tried to keep the man alive.
I don't remember what happened in the end.

cornergran I don't think that medical professional find it impossible to put themsleves into the shoes of bereaved people- at all. Most of them will have experienced losing loved ones. How can they guess that the exact time and date is so important for some people, probably a very small minority.

Both my parents chose to die when I was away from them. I’d sat by my Mum’s bedside all night and was out of the room for less than 5 minutes. My Dad however was with her, it was as she would have wished.

My Dad spent his last days in a hospice, we were there with our sons and their partners. The staff were convinced Dad would still be alive in a few hours, our family went home to rest for a while, we were offered a room in the hospice. A nurse showed us to the room, a few minutes later she was back to tell us he had died. It is our belief this was his choice, he saw his role as protecting me, he would not have wanted me or our children to see him leave the world.

In my work I listened to bereaved people and heard a version of this many, many times.

I’m so sorry about the deep distress caused by timing on death certificates. For myself I didn’t even look to see what was there, a friend however needed to know to the second when her husband had left her. It’s such a shame that medical professionals can’t put themselves into the shoes of bereaved people and act with more thought and kindness.

Most people actually want and choose to die alone- as reported by so many friends and family who work in Care Homes and Hospitals.

Losing someone close is devastating, and we are all different.

Personally, I truly can't see how the exact time of death has any importance or meaning.

My DM died between nurses' shifts. We were 5 minutes away having sat the previous day and most of the night at her side.
I know it's common but I still wish I had been there at the end
My DH died in 2020 and I and all 4 DC were at his side.
So sorry about the careless timings
So sorry for the sad losses

Dear Made in Yorkshire my sympathies to you,

silverlining48

I too has stayed with mum all day and into late evening when I left to go home fir a rest as I wasn’t well myself. Got to sleep around midnight and had a call half hour later to say mum had got worse, up dressed back to the home at 1.15 expecting her to be alive but she had already died. I felt dreadful as I didn’t want her to die alone. Never was sure whether it had been the previous evening. It did sort of matter.
We waited til 3 am before the dr came, he was brusque, rude and without compassion, horrible man.

Thank you, and am so sorry that you had to go through that. We had to have the police, as it was an 'unexplained death' and they were marvellous really. I have been told that the inquest is very impersonal, a tick box job for those who do it, so am not sure if I will attend or not.

Of course it matters to people to know when someone dies. If it's overnight in their sleep I guess we might not know but a doc should have some idea
The particular dates the OP mentions might be relevant as it's the end of one tax year a d the beginning of the next but for most people it won't make much difference.
All dwaths are sad but what a shame that lady died just a few short hours before she turned 100

I too has stayed with mum all day and into late evening when I left to go home fir a rest as I wasn’t well myself. Got to sleep around midnight and had a call half hour later to say mum had got worse, up dressed back to the home at 1.15 expecting her to be alive but she had already died. I felt dreadful as I didn’t want her to die alone. Never was sure whether it had been the previous evening. It did sort of matter.
We waited til 3 am before the dr came, he was brusque, rude and without compassion, horrible man.