Side-swiped by a little thing.

I still can’t listen to a song that was released just after my son died , the words were so triggering I hated it. 40 years later I turn off the radio every time I hear it.

Last year it played in a restaurant when we were on holiday, it was too difficult to leave, I sat at the table with tears quietly running down my face. Music is so emotional

I lost my son a year ago and yesterday just hearing someone singing happy birthday to a young girl absolutely banjaxed me because I’ll never sing that to him again. I was tearful on and off all day after that - the marathon made me cry, an advert for his old university made me cry and then the news that his partner is selling their house absolutely finished me off. Having said that I support and back her every inch of the way and I know it’s the right thing for her. Grief is awful though.

He is still with you. Your memories keep him with you always. No one can take your memories away from you. Enjoy them. I thought I’d lost my beloved adored partner when he died unexpectedly. I was wrong…. he is with me every day.

My DH died 4 years ago from Covid and most of the time obviously I’m fine. But two weeks ago, on the way to Center Parcs in Suffolk with the family, we stopped for lunch at a pub/restaurant. As we had my DD’s dog we sat outside. Two fast jet fighter planes roared overhead, very loud and low, my DH loved air shows and we went to lots of them, he would have loved the free display. It really got me and I shed some tears then, luckily I was wearing sunglasses so no one could see my tears.

Widowed 25 years but I'm instantly taken back to the beautiful, hot July morning of our wedding day if I ever hear "Just my imagination" by the Temptations.
Within seconds of the opening bars I'm in floods, music is just so powerful in stirring the emotions.

It’s four years for me and if anything sets me off it will be music.
Billy Joel’s Always a Woman never fails.

My late DH loved music of many kinds and we went to lots of concerts all over the place. Couldn't bear to listen to the music channels on the radio for quite a while and then when I did the first song played was his favourite and of course I was in floods of tears so now always listen to radio 4.

I was surprised that, since DH died a few years ago, I could look at the photos that he’s in, and smile, but I still can’t listen to all his favourite music, which I also liked. DD and I went to see the film about Freddie Mercury, and we were sitting in the cinema in tears. The music invoked so many happy times.

My not religious father had ‘The old rugged cross’ played at his funeral 1977, Mum likewise in 1994. It always has that affect on me, so emotional.

Thankfully DH is still with me, but my DS died over 30years ago, and in the early years after her death, certain pieces of music would reduce me to tears, and even now my eyes will still well up when i hear it.,

I have been divorced from first husband since 1981 and married to the most wonderful man for 26 years. Second husband is hardly into music. However, certain songs, unbelievably sometimes heavy metal! still bring back memories of no.1 - but not to make me cry, thank goodness! Or course I wouldn't dream of saying anything to my best love.

Music definitely triggers emotional memories. I associate certain songs with different people eg 'penny arcade' with my dad and 'counting stars' with my DDs ex.

My DH was deaf for so long, so music wasn't a great feature though for some strange reason he did enjoy some classical music. What gets me is music my late DD enjoyed and there is one that is often heard in stores and radio. I seem to just feel I have stopped in my tracks although I am still moving every time I hear it. If out and about I have to exit until I recover. Some memories never ever fade.

I know that feeling!...lost my husband over 20 years ago...found love again and I am happily married to a wonderful man...but songs and smells and odd comments from others sometimes still make me emotional...I think it is because our memories are good and it is still sad that people die so young before they have done all they want to do in life ...my late husband would have adored our grandkids..so sad he missed out on all that ..

My husband died 33 years ago, I found love again 12 years ago, he is now due to illness now more or less out of my life too, I still have a good life and a great family, however sometimes a song, smell or something quite innocuous can bring back memories from 40 or 50 years ago and reduce me to a wreck, grief never leaves it just hides away waiting to pounce, I’ve always thought that the phrase time heals isn’t true, one just learns to live.

I’m moving towards 3 years since my husband died. I ordered a taxi to take me to and from a party with a large group of our friends. I was a bit apprehensive to be joining so many much loved long-standing friends where his absence would be ever present and commented on. I enjoyed myself and didn’t weep. Until the taxi radio played a song we’d danced to when we met and for many years - in our kitchen dancing or singing along to in the car.

There are several songs and hymns which remind me so much of DH, but yesterday it was the sight of his empty chair at the table which suddenly struck me. I have made so many changes ( inprovements ) to my home since he died. Perhaps I need to think about changing the table and chairs too.

Scribbles, see it as a tribute to the man you loved and lost.

It's at moments like this that I realise what a good place GN is. So much sympathy and understanding, I'm moved that so many took the time to respond and overwhelmingly glad you understand.
Sending caring hugs to all who have lost someone dear.

I totally understand Scribbles. It's been nearly 6 years since my DH died from cancer.
He sorted his own funeral out including the music. As a huge Paul McCartney fan it included 'Blackbird'.
It suddenly came on the radio a few days ago. It made me sob my heart out. But through the tears I sang the song - for him.
A beautiful song for a beautiful man.
You are so blessed to have found someone else

Since my DH died there are so many pieces of music I just can’t listen to.
On top of that, when I go to symphony concerts, as I have done all my life, I’m overwhelmed in a way I have never experienced before.
Bittersweet😢

Grief is like a ball in a box, it gets smaller overtime but it may hit a trigger once in a while

However happy and contented and even though we can enjoy our days when the pain comes it is as sudden and sharp as though the loss were yesterday.

Thank you for sharing this Scribbles. It's good to know we're not alone.

I saw an online talk the other day and the woman speaking had eyes just like Mum’s. It was upsetting although she died more than 30 years ago. I still miss her

Music is the most powerful thing- it can change our mood in an instant.

I used to wonder why my Aunty who had been very musical all her life, stopped listening to it when she became older.

Now I think I know why- it has such a grip on the emotions that sometimes we can't deal with it. That's how I feel anyway- music has the power to take us to places we would rather nor go because the feelings can be so raw and visceral.

I totally understand how this made you feel...treasure it.