A hug for you, as others said 3 months is a whisper in time.
Have you considered some bereavement counselling ? It does help to have a whole hour, talking it through to someone who understands, you can laugh over the good times and explain your feelings. You really shouldn’t keep them locked inside of your head . Getting them out does really help
I haven’t experienced losing a husband as I m divorced and it really did nt effect me a lot when he died but I went through a difficult year when mum and dad died six months apart.
You are at the very start of the grieving process and there are many steps to take You husband would not want this
You are still in shock
I wish you well
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