Dreams a loved one is still alive

I often have vivid dreams about my late Mum and occasionally my Dad. They are usually nice dreams.

My husband had a major stroke and is now mostly in a wheelchair. He gets very upset because he often dreams he is walking and then wakes up and realises he can’t.

They are really normal in the early days but even years on you’ll get an odd one. They are so real as no vivid.

I’m sorry you’ve lost your sister x

butterandjam your dream phone calls sound very poignant somehow.

I am wondering about visiting the town I grew up in, I can't face it since my parents died. Not sure how to proceed.

i am 62 and was widowed at 39, i would often wake up thinking my husband was still here, my dad died last september and over christmas i woke up crying, the only thing i can remember is my dad and husband walking away and my dad saying, you are on your own now angel, some of these dreams upset me but i get on with things. sending you hugs.

I often see my mum (not so much my Dad) - I wonder why. I would love to see him. He passed away when I was 14 years old.

Cillafan

Please accept my condolences for the loss of your sister.

I lost my twin brother many years ago and he appears in my dreams from time to time. I never wake up sad as a result but I've had 13 years to come to terms with his passing. In your case it's only been a few months and if you're like me, you'll still be trying to come to terms with her passing. I struggled for a long time and obviously still miss him. A lot. But I see the dreams as something happy, reminding me of happy times with him, and I think eventually you will wake up feeling happy that she's been with you in your dreams.

The next thing I'm going to say may sound ridiculous to some people but here it is. When my brother appears in a dream, I see it as he has paid me a visit to say hello and see how I am. This makes me happy and I actually feel more upbeat after waking up from a dream with him in it.

Everyone deals with the loss of a loved one in their own way, but when they appear in a dream, like the example you gave, it's a happy moment to be cherished, and not to be concerned / sad about.

I'm sorry you find this so distressing, but as you'll see from other replies, it's quite common.
For many many years after my mother died , I used to dream we were chatting on the phone just as if she was still alive. (So in these dream conversations we never mentioned her illness, the fact she was dead, what happens after dying, loss or grief) It was just the kind gossipy funny chats we'd always enjoyed . When I woke up and remembered she was dead, the pleasure of having spoken with her and enjoyed her company was immensely comforting. Far from these dreams making me sad, they were a special pleasure.

Over decades the dream phone calls gradually petered out and I've not had one for a long time.I've lost other close family but never had any dream experience of them.

Look on these dream times with your sister as a happy gift
and take comfort from having them. Not everybody is so lucky.

I had those dreams regularly after my father died, it was so sad when I woke up, they did diminish over time.

These are so sad to read. I had a funny dream about my Mum. We were on an old fashioned bus and I was at the the window seat. She sat down next to me and said " Oh! What are you doing here?" It was all very real.

I have only ever once dreamed about my OH as if he were still alive. It broke my heart when I woke. I hope it does not happen again.

My parents died 30 years apart and both times, for a couple of years, I dreamt they were alive. In the dreams I was told (by medical staff, family or my parents themselves) that they weren’t dead snd that it had all been a terrible mistake. I had a recurring dream where my mum jumped up out of her coffin in church and stood with all my family saying she’d had a narrow escape - that was very distressing. It’s always hard when you wake up and realise the truth - I often cried. Now, many years on, I still dream of them sometimes but they just join in with happy activities which I think means I’ve accepted they are gone. Thinking of you OP and hoping in the future the dreams will bring you comfort.

It's an odd sensation when people pop up in dreams. I don't find it disturbing but try to squeeze my eyes shut to get another few seconds. It seems so real.

My two closest friends died within a few months of each other over 20 years ago and I often dream about them. The dreams are always happy and I'm sorry to wake up. I also dream about my parents who died even longer ago. I think it's because they are an important part of my memory, the dreams are never sad or upsetting and seem quite ordinary, I'm often visiting or having a meal with them.

As you can see from these anwers, lots of us have similar dreams.

So soon after a bereavment as the stage you are at, and I am sorry to hear of your loss, these dreams do tend to be upsetting, now 18 months after my husband's death I find when I dream of him we are doing something nice together and the dreams are not so distressing.

I dream of my sister too, - she died i 2016, and sometimes of my parents or even my grandparents.

I hope as time passes you too will find dreams and memories comforting, rather than upsetting, but it does take time.

I have found this thread very useful and comforting, and I hope you will too.

Hello Cillafan I just want to say I am sorry for your loss. It is very early still and you are naturally grieving. We all have to travel this sad and lonely path but hope Hope the messages you have had help a little. After my mum died I dreamed of her sometimes and think about her a lot.
It will take time, you just need time. You can speak to your gp or look at bereavement counselling, someone to talk to or post here, there is always someone who will respond.
Take care of yourself.

My DH died over 5 years ago and is in my thoughts a lot but hardly ever appears in my dreams.

Then one night about 2 years ago I had a very vivid dream. I saw him, he looked healthy and tanned. There were other people around too on what seemed a sunny outdoor place - a farm perhaps.

He saw me but we didn't speak but smiled. He looked really happy and I felt happy to see him.

Yes, I sometimes dream my late DHis walking towards me. It makes me happy.

I dream regularly about my H but they are never upsetting and even in my dream I know he has gone.
When he first died we would be out somewhere and I would be trying to get to him in the distance, every time I reached that spot he would be gone but I would still see him a few yards away.
This would be repeated over and over until I realised I would never catch up with him.
I don’t have that one now so I supposed that I accepted that he was gone.

I had similar dreams after my husband died. I would claw my way from sleep to try to reach him but, of course, he wasn’t there. The dreams were a regular occurrence at the start but the frequency diminished over time.

Nearly 20 years on, it still happens very occasionally and it’s still upsetting to wake and realise that it was just a dream.

There is a lot of online material attempting to interpret why this happens; processing grief, cherished memories.

Be assured you are not alone in experiencing this.

Yes. I used to meet my Mum in dreams after she'd died suddenly. At first I would wake up with a damp pillow from crying but gradually I came to look forward to "seeing" her. After about 6 months, the dreams faded.

Yes, my mother died in the 1980's and I dreamt about her a couple of weeks ago. It was very surprising but comforting at the same time. I looked on it has a memory of happy times with her.

Yes, at various times. I just 'enjoy' the experience, as it is always a pleasant tone.