A whole year of doing good

Judith yes please I would like one !

Actually, judith, I was talking in general terms about doing good and not bragging about it. I haven't read your book so I wasn't accusing you of bragging.

re ariadne: exactly
re bags: i am responsible for many things, thread titles not being one of them
re grrrranny: fair enough, i respect everyone's right to hold a different opinion to my own. What I will say though as a general point is there are plenty of people out there having a go at me doing what I did (when I came off radio 5 where I had been talking about encouraging people to have their own jam jars and collect loose change for charity, I was met with a tweet directly into my stream telling me I made someone sick.) I am willing to hazard those people aren't the ones who stand first in line to help someone out.
re grannyknot: thanks for that. i did stuff during the year which did not go in the book
re ana: is it a brag to write a book? I am a writer. I write about what I think and do.
Right I will put up six copies of the book. Contact me through my email at [email protected]. Read the book. Trash the book if you want after you have read it. Call me a braggart then if you want, or pious, or smug or whatever you feel. It may confirm you in your opinions and that is fine if it does. It may - takes intake of breath - change your opinions. How about reading it? Then you can come back and say "Aha. It was exactly as I suspected." Any takers ladies?

I've had that when I've been waiting for my taxi!

I must remember not to linger on any pavements looking too much like a little old lady in case I get helped across the road - especially if I don't want to cross it

annodomoni you are of course correct Jesus did say not to brag about any good that you do.

I would like to think however that in this case Jesus would be ok with it in hope that it may inspire others to do the same as The Author.

Hi Judith I am very interested in reading your story and have ordered the book. I think its great that you took time out of your own BUSY life of being a Mother of three. I think your Mother is an amzing women and came from a time when people just got on with it and battled through but never gave up.

You say in your blog that it has not made a difference to the world but maybe if you asked the people that you helped, they may have a different take on it, especially the family that you cooked diner for.

Personally I think it should be made into a Documentry as it would be amazing to actually see peoples faces when you turned up t help.

All the best with the book.

Tegan I know exactly what you mean! If they are perfectly capable of doing stuff for themselves I tend to drop them after a while.

I'd imagine it's interesting to read about people's attitide to her kindness. I don't want to sound nasty but over the years I've found that, if you go out of your way for some people they then expect you to carry on doing so and will then ask you to do various things without making the effort to do it themselves. Not everyone, I hasten to add, but just some [and they are in a minority].

To be fair, she's only written a book about the year when she decided to actually do this. She's not showing off. She found it an interesting time in her life, and decided to write about it. If you've got the ability, why not?

Didn't Jesus say 'Do good by stealth'?
(Knowing the Bible is a very useful for a Humanist.)

Agree moved that's what I mean.

In my experience the people who tell you about the good they have done are the same ones who brag about other things and they often tell you the same thing again and again. Sometimes the good deeds come out naturally in converstaion as in GA's post and I think that is fine but if they come out in an I'm such a good person way then I don't like it.

To me bragging is something else, e.g. telling people how clever you are, that's bragging, or how well you excel at sport, or how much money you have. Telling people about something good that you've done, is to share the happiness, not to brag. Well for me, anyway.

There's a bloke that comes to see me now and again (no, not like that!!) and he often stays for a cup of tea. He has a lot of problems of his own, but sometimes he goes busking to get money for a cup of coffee in town and perhaps a sandwich; any extra money he makes he often hands on to Oxfam or one of the other charity shops in town. I'll bet anything that very few people will know about that - and yet I know that many people will look at him and judge him as a 'scrounger' (he's not, he has severe and enduring mental problems). He does good deeds because, at heart, he's a good person.

Ooh! Just seen on Twitter - Cari's reading it at this very minute. #wishiwasinbed

I read some of the actual book on the "Look Inside" feature on Amazon. It sounds good. I like the way it's written. Think it would be very curl-up-able-with.

If only I didn't have so many books piled up waiting to be read on my Kindle!

I agree that it's better if it comes naturally to do a good deed (every day or whenever), but if it doesn't come naturally, surely it's better to consciously try? But not just to brag about it afterwards.

I love the concept of committing to doing something good (every day or not), the reminder in the mantra as expressed in the title of the thread, and the recording and the telling of the good deeds. Sometimes I do good stuff and not tell people, but if the doing something good has made me happy I tell anyone and everyone and usually it makes them happy too. judith you and your parents sound lovely.

I agree with Stansgran - my thoughts exactly but I was too cowardly to post them and in spite of author's post (which at least shows she has read gn) also agree with Bags about the 'flavour' - just something a little off for my taste.

I agree with that wholeheartedly, ariadne, but that is not the flavour that comes across in the thread title or in the blog post (not to me anyhow).

Sometimes, the purpose of telling people about stuff with which you're involved is to share your experience and also to raise awareness of whatever need it is that you're working with. It's not for self glorification!

re janeainsworth: it is hard to sum up a book in a short featuretter, yes you are right the book does have a different feel and i love both my parents. infact the book is a way of honouring them because they havent ever been recognised for everything they did, and if I didnt sell a single copy, it would be worth the two years slog for the joy they have had out of it.
re maryxyx: good for you. exactly. and not everyone is aware of the possibilities. the book might be naiive but it is an attempt to put good deeds on the map and get people doing more than they might otherwise have done.
re gillyboy,baggs,jeni,movedalot,glassortwo: the media narrative focussed on me but the book is as much about the things everybody else does(check out my blog for Jean's story for instance) and the whole concept of goodness. I do have stuff to say and I am willing to stick my head above the parapet to say it. As indeed are you guys - more power to those of us with opinions.
re stansgran:the jam jar army was a huge amount of work for me. yes i encouraged others to give but rest assured it took a massive amount of work on my part and I am still working on it. the sunday times made their own choice of extracts, I'd have liked them to go for different stuff but their selection is down to them.
I would really like anyone who is interested to nip across to my blog www.wifeinthenorth.com. I have a few extracts up and that might give u a sense of what else is in the book.

I felt she was desperate for an idea for a book as she had had one in print(moving from the Smoke to the North East ) and it was such a dreadful culture shock that she had to write a book about it. Maybe she had a three book deal. If she had been doing something like Maryxyx then I think that would have plenty to read but from extracts I read in theST I felt her deeds were trivial. I think she opened the door for someone. The best deed was the jam jar thing but she got every one else to do it!

I feel it's easier to find opportunities to do good if you are aware of the possibilities. I started going to a couple of regular social gatherings for lonely people and quickly found people who were in much worse conditions than me. What they tend to need most is just someone to sit with them and let them talk, or sometimes just sit with them. That was hard for me as I am such a chatterbox. I have just joined a team of volunteers who provide a telephone and email support service - a bit like the Samaritans - specifically for the LGBT community. Sometimes all we need is to recognise how much support we have received and try to give something similar.