Grandparents and childcare

Gorki what similarities we share! We do exactly the same days as you.

Our grandchildren treat our house as their (other) house, where they have their own room, clothes and toys. Its easier to keep them overnight and much less fuss for them too. I can't imagine them not being there.

Gally My grandchildren have all gone to private nursery on the days I don't have them. My son and DIL both work full time but neither of them have well paid jobs and between them they just about scrape by. My DH and I moved house in 2011 to be closer to them as the travelling was becoming a problem for me. For us it was the best thing all around, as I have the responsibility of elderly parents and my 96 year old grandma too. I think we can all only do what we can. We are not in much of a position to help them financially I only wish we could.

I have until very recently, lived quite a way from all my children, but now live very near to DD and her children, who are 14 and 16. We are thorough enjoying helping out, for example when DD (a teacher) has after school meetings, or when lifts are needed etc. (That's mainly Theseus' role)

We do look after the middle ones for weekends when both parents are involved in their athletic activities / careers, (DDiL was in Valencia this weekend and as she returned, DS2 took off to play rugby in South Africa!) but it's sometimes complicated to organise.

It does, as many of you say, seem totally natural, and lovely.

My younger GC are too far away for me or their other GPs to be of use as carers, so they have all been to private nurseries though they are now at state primaries and doing well. But my eldest GD lived - and still lives - close by and although I was still working and had other time-consuming commitments, I saw her frequently after school and most weekends she would come and play in my house, go out to parks and the cinema and learn to bake in my kitchen. This has created a great bond between us and now that she is 21, she feels that she can speak freely to me about quite sensitive topics and knows that I am there for her in times of crisis when her 'mad' mother is no more use than a chocolate teapot. The younger ones are loving and pleased to see me when I visit - or they do - and I am longing for the time when they can come on their own and do all the things I did with GD1. But I won't be quite the fixture in their lives that I was for her.

I care for my twin grandsons every other Saturday for the day, and we make it a fun day doing baking, playing games, visiting the pet shop to admire the rabbits and guinea pigs, and then the park, and generally doing the sorts of things I enjoyed with my grandparents. I also pick them up from school every Monday, give them tea and get them ready for bed. They have a Friday night sleepover with me every few weeks.

My daughter's MIL cares for her twin 15 month old girls 3 days a week, and I call round to help with them once or twice, then mind them for a couple of hours when my daughter is at home with them, and do a bit of baby-sitting. MIL went part-time in order to be able to care for them, so is compensated for her drop in earnings as a dinner lady and after-school club assistant. It works out much less than paying a registered childminder and everyone is happy.

My newborn grandson is further away from home, but I'll see him as often. My son runs his business from home and DIL is a stay-at-home mum, so childcare won't be needed, just babysitting.

When my eldest grandson was younger, he stayed overnight every weekend, and I used to pick him up from school quite often. I see him every week when he is staying over with his dad.

I haven't looked after any of the children as a way to help mums and dads go to work, but if I had been needed, I wouldn't have expected payment, just the occasional 'thank you' and treat.

I feel guilty at not being on hand to help. One daughter has given up work completely because the fees for child care had become untenable. Another has a day's help from her MIL but, still after 2 days in nursery for 2 children, she lands up with the paltry sum of £100. She needs to keep working to keep on the ladder and for her CV and for the money. I live 400 miles away and am loathe to move nearer, thus losing my 'lifestyle', my friends and my home, in order to help the situation. I'm not a natural Granny - small doses suit me! Short of actually paying the fees, which would be a bit of a strain, what else should I do? I would then feel I would have to pay for DD1's children and do the same for DD2 in Oz and where will it all end? All in all, I think it's for them to deal with, and they do,very well in my opinion, and they would be the last to expect me to up sticks. But it still gives me grief to see how they have to live

I totally agree with gillybob.We have twin grandchildren of 5 who we have helped care for since birth. We pick them up from school on Monday and they stay with us until we take them to school on Wednesday.They also come en famille on one of the week-end days.They call both our houses home and differentiate by calling one Mummy's house and ours Gorki's house. Their Infants school also recognises the important role of grandparents by having a grandparents' afternoon once a year which includes a presentation in which all the children take part and then we go to the classrooms and talk about our schooldays.A large number of grandparents attend but we are all sensitive and inclusive of those children whose grandparents can't be there for whatever reason.I would add that I would find our role much more difficult if I was on my own.My husband provides most of the "fun" element.I never think of it as childcare.To me it is the most natural thing to do.We are expecting a new granddaughter in May but I don't anticipate the need for the same level of involvement.

I care for my 3 grandchildren 2 days a week ( including an overnight) and have done since the eldest was merely 6 weeks old. They are now 6, 5 and 3 . The older children are now at school but when they were smaller they went to private nursery on the other days. Spending the 2 days with me every week is second nature to them and they know which days are grandmas days and they treat my house as their second home. I really wouldn't have it any other way.

We take care of our g/daughter two afternoons a week, it's enough as we both find it tiring, in the holidays we have her all day.....she is at nursery 3 mornings, and we share the care with her other g/parents. Despite it being tiring, we love having her, and likemthenfact we're helping our son and dil at the same time. I think g/parents can give a lot to their g/children and vice versa.