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Being excluded from Hen do!

(12 Posts)
Roxynounou Mon 27-Jul-26 14:34:39

My future DIL has just come back from her Hen weekend. I wasn't invited and had thought it was just because it was for the younger ones. But the bride to be, has posted pictures and the group includes her mother, aunt and her brothers girlfriend!,,,. I didnt expect to go but the comment that "all the women I care about are here"! Has really knocked me. She just messaged me to say I can arrive a little later tomorrow ( I look after my GD tomorrow) as she is taking GD to visit a new nursery. I can honesty say I can't remember the last time I cried.

Calendargirl Mon 27-Jul-26 14:41:16

How upsetting.

I can understand her own mum going, but the aunt as well?

It would have been nice to be asked.

Thoughtlesss, but perhaps she felt it wouldn’t be your ‘thing’?

Try not to let it get to you, but difficult not to feel a bit ‘used’ as you obviously are useful for GD duties.

Flippin2 Mon 27-Jul-26 15:07:28

Rise above it,don't let her know you were upset by it,some people are just totally thoughtless

Desdemona Mon 27-Jul-26 15:14:11

I can understand how upset you must have been. What a thoughtless thing to do.

DancingDuck Mon 27-Jul-26 15:16:14

So sorry to hear this, I can understand how upsetting this must have been.
I think its very thoughtless of your future DIL to have not asked you even if she did think it wasn't your thing.
Personally I would mention it and say how upset you are as otherwise these things can fester and may then affect your enjoyment of the wedding and any future relationship with her.

Astitchintime Mon 27-Jul-26 15:20:30

Very thoughtless of future DIL……..but I’d not say anything……sooner put it on the back burner and make a mental note to not be quite so available or prepared to dance to her tune!

Tworedroses Mon 27-Jul-26 15:20:44

I agree with Flippin2. Rise above it and don’t let them know you are upset. Totally thoughtless and mean.

crazyH Mon 27-Jul-26 15:23:02

How upsetting for you and such disregard for you, by your future DIL. I wonder what your son thinks about that 🤔 - is it because she thought you were not well enough to go abroad ?
I’m not wanting to upset you, but if it was me, the hurt would have lasted ages. But then, I am one of those who just overthinks and somehow find it hard to forget.
But as others, who are much better people than I am, have said to not let it get to you. Do that and maintain your relationship with your D.I.L for the sake of the GC flowers

JenniRen Mon 27-Jul-26 15:24:06

Yes, thoughtless and upsetting but be the better person.

However, as Astitchintime says, don't be quite so available in future, but enough to ensure you still see your granddaughter.

Fallingstar Mon 27-Jul-26 15:28:19

Some people just don’t think. No excuse I know, but I bet your future DIL never even considered how hurtful this could be. If it had been me I would have wanted to keep a foot in both camps and keep everyone sweet so would have definitely invited you as well as mum and auntie.
I imagine your son is none the wiser as well.
Best to say nothing and appear all smiles when you next see her, but am so sorry you feel sad about this, sending hugs 🤗 💐

Gran22boys Mon 27-Jul-26 15:28:39

I agree with everyone here. Rise above it and put it down to her lack of thought. Your son probably didn’t give it a second thought in any case and he is your true family not her.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Mon 27-Jul-26 15:29:02

I suppose least said and all that.
However we are not saints.

I’d have to say something even if it were only to my son.

Not to be invited was bad enough but ‘all the women I care about are here’ just twists the knife, most exquisitely.

Sheesh.