How to survive village life.

Thank you Feetle, personally I love them!

Horses for courses I guess. I only really feel alive when I am in the country. I can cope with a town or city for a few hours, but that is it. And as for London.......whenever I have to go there, I come back with my fingernails caked in black filth - yuk!

Wonder if git next door has a green willie? Wouldn't surprise me! After all he comes from Lunnon originally, don't he?

According to DD2, Burgundy willies are all the rage now.

Must come from all that we knock back during the boring cosy fireside winter nights.

I think village life is rather different nowadays. So many people move around and you will not be the only 'incomer'.

Wherever you move, village, town or city once you no longer need to go to the school gates it is up to you to make what you like of it.

Accept every invitation even if you know it is something you will not like, you don't know who you will meet and where it will go from there. Take your time with people in shops, at bus stops or wherever.

Listen people prefer to talk about themselves than listen to you. They will then go off and tell everyone how nice you are.

Ask for help, can you recommend an electrician? Do you know a plumber? If the neighbours haven't been round to introduce themselves this is a way of getting to know them and everyone likes to help as long as they don't have to actually do anything!

If there is a mobile library, use it even if you have a kindle.

As you walk along the road, make eye contact and say good morning. This will instantly make you one of them as country fold always speak when they pass.

Be a courteous driver, they will remember you if you are not!

Be nice!

Have you heard about the driver who stopped to get petrol and asked if the locals were friendly? The cashier asked what they were like where he came from and he said 'most unfriendly', cashier said they are like that here too.

A few weeks later another driver asked the same question and again was asked what the people where they lived were like. This time the answer was 'they are lovely' and the reply was 'just the same as here'.

Its all up to you!

Have to qualify what I said about villages! I now live in a small town by the sea and love it. Am dozy cow.

Have to say that all of the advice holds good wherever you choose to move to. It is more difficult on retirement because no young children to make the connection.
Having the luxury of being able to choose anywhere in the country we chose the city of York. It is small so an easy place to get to know lots of people. As an atheist I would have struggled to become involved in a village church (although I know they are the hub of the community in so many ways.)
We wanted somewhere with a good cultural mix and the 2 universities help with that.
I wanted to be able to campaign as a socialist and chose somewhere with a Labour MP ( too many years living where my vote was completely disenfranchised) Groups of people who like discussing world issues and politics - all with different opinions and ideas.
For the first year of retirement I didn't volunteer for anything but went to lots of things. The theatre, art gallery, philosophy club etc. Our children and friends love York and enjoy coming to stay so loads of visitors. We can feed them ourselves (both enjoy sharing good food) or choose to visit the dozens of great restaurants and pubs.
My daughter and family joined us a year later and we now have the privilege of sharing friends at their local state schools. (Loads to choose from.)
I am delighted to say that our generation of friends all seem to have made interesting choices of places to live: city or village, home or abroad. They are a contented lot and the only ones who are currently disadvantaged - following one with a broken ankle and one with a back op, unable to drive and no public transport in their remote Northumbrian village has been truly awful.

Village life is to be enjoyed not survived.

Don't knock all of London - it's a series of villages. More people speak to me when I'm around my daughter's house in inner London than where I live.
I loved village life when the kids were little but I wouldn't go back now & I'd retire to central London if I could afford it. Many of the villages round us are just too green welly & wealthy for me to fit in though I've heard of a great one today which pulled out all the stops for a client whose husband went missing for 2 days.

Well said Gadabout. We Londoners are truly friendly and as you pointed out we all live in one of London's many villages. They just happen to have joined up. The only thing hard about London living is coping with the predudices of those who who like to knock it. It is the most diverse, culturally rich, fascinating city in the world and we're proud of it.

For those of you not privileged enough to live here but open minded enough to visit, sign up to the daily bulletin from The Londonist which will give you a such a choice of things to do that you will have difficulty choosing.

There is only one village molecatcher. Make him your friend.
Nothing happens between November and March. Any human interaction is a bonus.
All village events must be the same every year. Each village event requires a four hour planning meeting where copious amounts of food and drink are consumed, after a ten minute discussion to agree that everything will be the same as last year.
All village events must include the local speciality tergoule (rice pudding) made with milk straight from the udder.
The only people who wear wellies and drive 4x4s are working farmers.
When people stare at you car they are just checking whether they know you and can block the road for a 10 minute chat.
The Maire may not always be right, but he is always the Maire.
French people may not be easy to get to know, but when you do, they will be the most wonderful and loyal friends you will ever have.

I was a Londoner... born in Highgate, raised in N London, lived in Islington and Lewisham - and of course worked there, in the clubs, theatres, cabaret venues and recording studios. Liked it when I returned to it from the Middle East in '59. Grew to hate it as time passed.

I don't go there now.

Why so defensive about London? I don't think people are particularly anti-Londoners but my experience is that some Londoners think nothing happens outside London or that London is best for all things! There are also some who think that north of Watford is all 'flat 'ats and braces'.

MiceElf some of us don't think it is a privilege to live in London, we've done it and prefer to live somewhere else. I think that is part of the problem, that Londoners believe they have something better than the rest of us. Sorry if that sounds confrontational but I really don't like your last paragraph, plenty goes on in other parts of the country too.

How open minded are you about visiting other parts of the country?

"fingernails caked in black filth" - heavens Mishap what do you get up to when in London?

I love to visit friends in the country and DS1 who lives in a village in the middle of nowhere in Somerset but am always glad to be back in London.

Everything you need on your doorstep or a short bus ride away - free travel for over-60s on bus and tube, 24-hours, no after 09.30 nonsense or one bus a day for senior Londoners (at a mere 59 I don't yet have this but can't wait!)

I really do love cultural activities and a night out for me is a play at The Royal Court, not a village panto.

Nonnie, I was not born in London, in fact hundreds of miles north of it, and did not live here for the first 18 years of mu life. I have lived in villages in this country and overseas. So don't make assumptions about me.

What a pity you don't like my last paragraph. It referred to the diversity I referred to in my first. What I really, really dislike is the thought of living in a white ghetto, however pretty and nice.

And yes, it is a privilege to live in London. Sadly, many can't afford to any more but for those who can, generally because they've been here for some years, the range of activities and opportunities is unparalleled.

I'm not 'defensive' about being a Londoner. What's wonderful about being a Londoner is that you've only got to be here for a week or two and you're one of us, no matter what your background, culture or ethnicity. That's what I like about it.

I have lived in various parts of the country but, like MiceElf think that London has a great deal to offer.

There are downsides, like anywhere else, but it is a very exciting, diverse and friendly, place to live.

Having lived in a village, where anything or anyone different was viewed with a degree of suspicion and where everything shut down at 5.30 and the buses stopped running at 6, I appreciate the freedom that London offers.

LOL Elegran your suggestion number 3! If we did that in our village we wouldn't last long ...... Literally! People in this country are a bit sensitive about 'flegs'.

We have been here 5 years and are only very gradually getting on speaking terms with the immediate neighbours. Most prefer to take their time assessing newcomers' potential. We went once to the residents' association meeting and it was clear that the status quo was not for changing. Despite a growing population of young children, the primary school was closed a few yers ago. As was the post office.

But we love it here! It suits us as retired folk. Our old Victorian house is between fields and the beach. It is never very hot in summer or very cold in winter (rarely snow) due to a prevailing wind from the sea. Yet it is within 5 miles of a town and 20 miles from the delights of Belfast City.

No green willies that I am aware of I have a nice pair of stripey wellies though.

Sounds like we did it all wrong when we moved to our small market town. The first thing we did was knock down the dilapidated car port and garage and several sheds made from fence panels, added a large conservatory, utility extension and landscaped the front garden. The locals blatantly stood outside in groups discussing our progress and trying to guess what we were up to, so we went over, joined them, discussed our plans which met with all around approval. It turned out to be an excellent way of meeting people.
Now my DH goes into town every day to buy bread, milk and papers and, depending on who he bumps into, can be gone ten minutes if it's raining or an hour if it's sunny or a market day. We know more people in seven years here than we ever did in the thirty five years we lived in a Norwich suburb.

London does sound like a very nice village, but where do you park your tractor? Is it easy to find a molecatcher?
We are 8 km from a shop, 15km from a bank and the shops are not open on Sunday or Monday. No mobile libraries, no mobile shops, no internet shopping. We get snowed in every year, but less so now we have a snow blade that fits on the tractors. When you turn out the light it is so dark that you can't see your hand in front of your face. The silence is deafening.

No problem with the tractor Mamie I have a resident's parking permit . As for the moles - cats and dogs do the trick

Oh that does sound nice. How long do the shops close at lunchtime? Does everyone come out of their house to see what has happened when they hear a siren? Can we dance in a field under the stars after the harvest?
Could we get a large house, guest cottage, barn and half an acre for £240000?
I am on my way.

- and don't forget the foxes having their daily walk down the railway line. And I didn't see stags rutting until I did my London childcare & discovered Bushy & Richmond Parks.
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Since when did giving another view become 'being defensive'? Different places, different stages - and villages can be very different. When I was once a community worker in rural Somerset - some villages were well balanced, accepting & vibrant communities while others were full of factions & in-fighting from which it was difficult to escape. Our village was a dynamic ex-colliery village & we had Mr Gad who skilfully kept the peace as Chair of the Parish Council & I set up all kinds of things. But lorries thundering through the village were not good & the village school left a lot to be desired.

Our shops stay open at lunchtime - you know, to do business.

Nothing for that price but for a bit more you can have this lovely underground parking space

for sale, great location

Says it's big enough for a Rolls, so your tractor might be a bit of a snug fit

Nice one River. But if you are prepared to go a little bit east and a little bit south you'll get a smashing three bed house, and very interesting neighbours. And, as Gadabout says, foxes galore, owls, kestrels and lots of gorgeous puss cats popping in to say hello.