I've heard the Cottage Hospital in Morpeth is good jen, it's just a pity it's still a long way from you. So many of the cottage hospitals have been shut and they provided a valuable service. I hope your MiL is looked after well there and some of the burden is lifted from you when her other son gets here.
And for you creuse.

creuse your right those of us who were loved as children are lucky. Do you have a family of your own now?

Jen . Creuse you are right , some of us were lucky and I never take that for granted.I lost my beloved Mum in my twenties and still miss her. But in our childhood all 4 of us were wrapped in a blanket of being loved and that has made such a difference when adult life has been tough (and tough it is at present)

Stansgran yes she did.. my DD wedding was a bit on/off affair (sometimes not an unnatural thing) DD had big almighty row etc and she told me the wedding was cancelled so I informed close family first..then!! DD tells me it was back on! but by this time my mum had made her mind up, she was adamant she wasn't going, so all went ahead with out my DD granparents, it was a brill day, just perfect and to be honest although it may sound terrible..we didn't miss them, although looking at the seats where they should have been sat etc it was very hurtfull, my dad would have gone but he has to do as mum says! we never talk about "the wedding" and of course my mum has never asked to see any photos (well wait until she visits DD home!! as they are plastered all over the wall)!!!! I am still very angry, and bitter but we have tried to put it to one side...my mum at the time was having trouble with her eyes and was feeling down and worrying if she was going to go blind, as she only has one good eye.That was just over a year ago, but as I say I still feel very bitter..but we have all moved on.But we will never forgive them,it does make me sad that I didn't speak to my mum for almost 3 months after the wedding,,but things are ok now but they will never be as good as before.

I lost my mother seven years ago just before Christmas, I had the benefit of her last 10 months with her after her diagnosis, and made the most of every moment. It didn't however make losing her any easier.
I am 60 years old too and I miss her as much today as at the beginning and I also often feel bereft that I no longer have her to turn to. And yes I am now the older generation and that is hard sometimes to deal with.
I have a loving husband and children and grandchildren, but nothing is like having your Mother around.
I completely understand where you are coming from. Talk about her often and enjoy the memories you created with her.

creuse, you are so right . I was in the junior Red Cross as a child in the '60s, and every Christmas we had to buy/make Christmas parcels and take them down to the local orphanage (how patronising was that?!). Only around 10 children lived there and we used to feel envious of them because they had so many lovely toys, a big modern house and a huge garden. We all came from working-class families with little in material terms. Those of us with loving families were too young then to appreciate what we had, but I certainly do now.

I understand how Pam feels. My mum died 15 years ago of heart failure, and sooner than I thought she would.
It is sad to hear that so many are vile about their mothers. Yes,if their mothers had shown absolutely no love for them, or committed the most dreadful crimes, it would be understandable. No mother is perfect, and neither are we, and I think it would be very boring if we were.
I still miss her dreadfully at times, and at times I do feel her presence - yes I do, in spite of what some might say. About 4 months after she died ( she had been living with us in her last years) we'd just arrived home, and for some reason I found myself going into her room, although I had no reason to do so. I just stood in the middle of the room, wondering why I was there. I then walked over to her photo and looked at it, and then, just as I was turning away, I heard her voice saying "What about a kiss then?" I swung around and looked at the picture, and then kissed it, and then left the room. There was no-one else in the room, and, no, it was not my voice. I have often wondered about that experience, as I am not a fanciful person, ready to believe in ghoulies and ghosties. I prefer to try and find a logical explanation if I can. I can only say that there was a strong bond between us, and I think that that experience helped me.
I feel sad for those who have been badly let down by their parents, and can only say that the best thing they can do is to make a much better job of being a parent than their parents, and live their life to the full. Forget the negative stuff and be positive. I am now a very positive mum and granny. Great stuff!

It's 34 years for me.

I found her dead the day after I moved her into a wonderful sheltered accomodation flat. I had such high hopes that she would be happy there. It was just awful to come back the next morning to continue the unpacking and find her lying there.

I still miss her every day.

You're all very lucky to have had a mother who took an interest in you. I was raised in an orphanage and never knew my family.

I was very lucky to have my mother till Feb 2013 I am now 63, I miss her more than I can say. My father died 2007 after suffering for some years with dementia, I had just moved my parents into a flat of my mums choice when my father had a fall when we placed him in respite care for 72 hours, with in less than 24hours he was in hospital where he died, my mother blamed herself, I looked after her till she had a fall in 2011 and also ended up in hospital, she gave up, she just wanted to be with my dad.
I had looked after both of them for over 20years and I am at a total loss as what to do now as I am still consumed with loss and grief, I could not show it to my mum after my day died as I had to be strong for her, now it hits me all the time.
My sons do not understand why I am still so emotionally fragile, I feel unable to build a new life and move on.

tenacre3 I think losing the second parent is especially hard, because that is the link to your own childhood and adolescence gone, as well as the parent.
A year is not really a long time, but I wonder if you have thought of bereavement counselling to help you deal with your feelings?

creuse I can understand how you feel. My SiL was raised in an orphanage and he says the worst part was not feeling you were special to anyone. How awful is that ! I feel sadness for him and also for you

I have never thought of bereavement counselling, I guess I thought at my age and the fact that my father and mother had a long life I just thought it was something expected and I like lots of other people had to deal with it and move on, I just hoped things would improve with time. As I had devoted my time to work and my parents for the last 20 odd years when I lost them both it was very difficult, how do you make new friends at my age, no one seems to want to let you in.
I look after my grandchildren when asked, but then it just feels worse when they don't need you and you are on your own again. I am probably quite low still, it seems I am just waiting to die.

My Mum died 17 years ago today. I managed her death remarkably well but this week, I am finding it quite hard. Since being widowed, I do tend to dwell on death - thinking about everyone who has 'gone'. I had a couple of Cruse sessions last year. I don't know what I expected, but they didn't help much and I wasn't overly impressed with the whole experience.

Reading so many moving posts about how mothers are missed, makes me wonder, as I've been wondering for the last 18 months, why my son doesn't want me in his life and lets every precious opportunity to work towards reconciliation pass him by.

May be one day he'll regret the choices that he's made, but if he waits until I'm no longer around, it will be too late for the both of us.

Tenacre3 if you tell people on here more about yourself perhaps there will be some suggestions. Yes to counselling as it helps to talk but if you say where you are there might be a meet up in the area you could get to . to you and Creuse.

I was asked by stansgran to tell more about myself, I don't know what you would like to know, so I am 63 divorced for 25yrs,I live on my own, I took early retirement to look after my mum more and see my sons and grandchildren more, as I was so stressed out by everything and was on the edge of a melt down.
On the day I retired my mum had a fall, ended up in hospital and it was clear she was not coming home again.
I did have my melt down as I call it about 6weeks later and had to get my brother to help as I couldn't function, I had counselling as I was suicidal, My brother has his own life and doesn't seem to want to let me in, I had hoped we would be closer after my mum died but he has his wife, children, grandchildren and friends, and no room for me, I am not bitter, just very sad.
I tried to get my job back as there was no mum to look after and I knew money would be tight, but the NHS that I worked for was already starting to make cutbacks so no luck.
I have joined clubs etc. but everyone else seemed to be a lot older than me and were not my scene.
I live in the north of kent, I drive but can't afford much petrol, a catch 22 situation. I have two cats, two sons, only get to see one and I have four grandchildren, and only get to see the three youngest. I suffer a lot with Arthritis but otherwise fairly healthy apart from occasional Anxiety and panic attacks left over from my melt down.

My mum died 19 years ago and going to certain places or hearing a certain piece of music still evokes strong memories and occasionally I cry. I am so sorry she never met my youngest son or my grandchildren. My children had their other grandma for much longer and talk of her fondly (she died two years ago) but I sometimes feel they have forgotten my mum. She had very little money but every time she visited she brought a little treat like a colouring book or crayons and she had so much time for them. Mum lived about an hour away and on the last Mother's Day before she died I spoke to her but did not visit because the children had something on and I thought my brother was taking her for lunch. He only visited briefly so I felt so guilty she spent the day alone even though she never complained. We never had another Mother's Day because she died of cancer six weeks later.

I feel very envious reading of the happy relationships some of you had with your mothers. Mine was a very troubled and damaged soul and our relationship was fraught and not easy during my teenage years. When I became a mother myself I was hoping to rediscover her and build a new and better relationship. Sadly it didn't really happen though I tried...she was diagnosed with cancer when DD2 was a toddler and died 3 months later. We were closed during those last few months than we'd been for years, but I still feel very cheated of the close relationship I yearned for and I know she felt deep sadness. She wasn't an easy person and could be caustic and critical but she always loved her family deeply. I feel I let her down when she needed me most but my teenage and early adult years were a struggle to be myself rather than a clone of my parents and I was too stupid to see further than that. I vowed to be a different mother to our daughters and I think I've succeeded, but we all make mistakes. I'd love the chance to talkbto my mother again with the wisdom of age and maturity and most of all with compassion and empathy. Enjoy your mothers if and while you can , those of you who are lucky enough to still have them around.

I want to add that I often wish she was here to see her grandchildren - our two daughters, and both my brothers' lovely children - grow up and to know and love the wonderful young people they all are.

I lost my darling mum 14yrs ago to-day and my lovely dad 3 months previous to that,they would have been married for 50 yrs that year and she was so sad they never made it until the September
Every time I drive past their old house I expect to see her sitting on the garden chair in the front garden her most favourite place my parents where so loving and supportive to the 5 of us and we never felt as though we went without,mum made all our dresses for us 4 girls and did all our knitting for us.A very happy childhood for us all.

I feel for you Glammamama and hope today you can concentrate on all your good times with your Mum and Dad.

I talk to mine regularly in my head and miss them so much.

On the anniversary of dear Dad's death I pour myself a large glass of something and toast him, as we enjoyed a tipple together. Of course I need a big tissue to wipe away the tears when I am doing this.

We are the lucky ones to have such great memories of our parents.