Well said Elegran

No blaming the victim, aka. I genuinely do not understand why she didn't step aside early on because I think that's what I would have done. I might also have looked crossly at the cyclist for riding on the pavement.

But then I also give way to aggressive walkers who don't budge an inch on a pavement and bear down upon one. It could have something to do with not living in a city or it could be that Thoroughly British Problem (so-called, or is it English? well, never mind) of being the sort of person who would say sorry to someone who stepped on my toe. I call it diffusing a situation. You can call it being cowardly if you like but that does not make it so.

janea, I don't agree that lack of disapproval is implied just because one avoids confrontation. In other situations people are criticised for "being confrontational".

Seeing the weak being bullied physically is a completely different situation from hearing people saying abusive things. It is not even clear from the blog whether the schoolgirls even heard the unpleasant comments. My saying this doesn't mean the comments weren't bad or weren't sexism. Perhaps, deep down, I'm more cynical than some others and think that speaking to such toerags is a waste of time, as well as risky.

If I saw someone being physically attacked, I hope I would try to do something about it, even if it was only yelling for help. Fortunately I've never been in such a horrible situation and I hope I never am.

Intervention doesn't have to be confrontation, Bags as Experigran showed.

I don't think the blogger's intervention was confrontational either. Fat lot of good the intervention did, confrontational or not. And, no, that's not saying she shouldn't have intervened. But I reiterate that I think it is wrong to judge other people as "condoning" just because they don't intervene in a scary situation.

One hears loads of stories about non-confrontational interventions ending badly for the intervener. Self-preservation when scared is not a sin. Bravery is great but people shouldn't be blamed if they are not brave. That's all I'm saying. It is too negatively judgmental.

So, in effect, I'm doing the same thing as the blogger thought she was doing: defending the weak.

Thanks bags - I am definitely weak when it comes to scary situations so appreciate your defence. (But I don't condone them either - the situations).

I was badly bullied physically as a child so think my lack of bravery stems from that. Discretion is the better part of valour and all that.

I wonder what the reaction would have been if the abuse had been racist? Would people still have ignored it? It is time that we all made it clear that this kind of behaviour whether racist/ageist/homophobic/sexist is totally unacceptable. Easy for me to say and harder to do I know, but I suspect I would have waded in and then panicked later. Maybe some of the young women who find feminism funny and old fashioned would like to do something about it. Maybe just everyone call 999 when you see it happening?? Do these people not have Mothers/sisters/grandmothers of their own? I remonstrated politely but firmly ( and loudly) with two teenage boys who were effing and jeffing in a queue at checkout in a supermarket. Everyone was tutting and rolling their eyes but doing nothing. I told them to be quiet or get out of the shop I was not going to listen to them. They shut up. High spirits and jokey comments are one thing, but aggression such as the blogger suffered is totally unacceptable.

Tutting and rolling one's eyes is doing something. It is showing disapproval.

So we can safely assume the little, old lady in the red coat who waded into a heist armed with only her handbags and saw off 5-6 potential robbers in motorbikes was neither Bags or Gaga

I agree that intelligent avoidance can sometimes work. My son was in an uncomfortable situation, having unpleasant remarks directed at him in a station waiting room. He took out his mobile phone , gave a name and number and asked for immediate back-up from the nearest car in the area. Quite convincing as he too is a 6ft rugby player but very non-confrontational.
The lads scarpered!

There was a time (pre-injury) that I would have happily confronted them and stood my ground but now, I know that would be foolish. My phone, on the other hand, would have been out very quickly if I had felt threatened in any way.

If I saw someone being attacked - again, I am now not able to wade in but the phone would be used as well as trying to get more able bodied people to help. We can all do out bit to help protect each other.

As an earlier post said - more beat bobbies and bring back park wardens to help keep the public safe.

But would park wardens be safe? And would the police be bothered to chase after a couple of loud-mouthed youths? Call me cynical, but I don't think any form of authority strikes fear into many of the youth of today, and of course they all know their 'rights'.

Park wardens, Ana could patrol in pairs (and it would create employment) and would need to be given some power of arrest (walkie talkies or something to contact the police). Police should take loud-mouthed yobs seriously - it could be the catalyst for something much worse if it isn't dealt with.

Authority doesn't strike fear into these yobs because the fangs of authority have, largely, been capped. Start implementing proper punishments - three strikes and it's down to clearing chewing gum off pavements, picking up litter, painting park benches - anything other than a fine which most of them seem happy to pay.

Yes, I agree that would be a good solution HollyDaze - in theory! Haven't such punishments been challenged as being 'too demeaning'?

And therein lies the problem Ana - the aggressors rights taking priority over the victims rights. The balance has to be restored.

I'm not sure if I have posted this before on this forum but here goes: I remember watching a programme where they were interviewing policmen from the 30s, 40s and 50s and asking them the difference between then and now. A few of them said that in those days, criminals would not harm members of the general public deliberately, if you were at home, they didn't break in and for that, the police felt a 'grudging respect' for the criminal. Now it just seems that everyone is afraid of being accused of 'hurting the feelings of the criminal' - I'd have them in the stocks and throwing soggy, rotten potatoes at them!

You have to make a swift judgement call before wading in with any 'counter attack' either physical or verbal.I agree that sometimes a little old lady act may work, but in other cases it may spur them on to attack you as you seem weak.Doing nothing shouldn't be an option though, as others say, phone for help, dive into the nearest shop and get help [depending on the crime you witness.]Most verbal stuff you have to let go, particularly boys effing and blinding in bus queues.Even if we don't like it, we have to accept that f**k seems to be an everyday word for tons of schoolkids.I do think that women can get away with remonstrating with boys/men better than men of any age, less risky for us I mean.It has to be said though, that young people get very angry these days so very quickly[ actually there are some very angry older people about as well!]

Ana I accept that there are some areas where the police and other emergency services won't go without back-up, but I think generally the police are concerned with low-level nuisance because they recognise that verbal abuse etc does impinge on the quality of life.
I live in a pleasant part of Northumberland in a suburban estate, but some years ago there were problems with youths congregating, buying alcohol from the convenience store and then misbehaving in various ways along a particular path that runs between some houses.
That has largely stopped now, thanks to the combined efforts of the police, pressure from residents, the shop and the school.
It can be done - it's about people having the confidence to work together and saying something is unacceptable.

Yes, I agree that something can be done by the police and local community in such cases where young people congregate in a certain place and cause a nuisance. It's the random occurences as in the OP which are more of a problem - by the time the police had come, if they'd been called, the lads would probably have been long gone.

In our small town, the introduction of PCSOs made a big difference to the problem of youths gathering in groups which may not have been really threatening but were often perceived as threatening by older residents, especially as they usually gathered close to an ATM. The PCSOs generally developed a rapport with the youngsters and no confrontations were reported.

Well, our PCSOs spend all their time issuing parking tickets!
I live about 200 yards from the police station (closed to the public of course!) and I can't remember the last time I saw a PC on the beat.

Anno we were once stranded along with two or three other narrowboats on the Ashton Canal in Openshaw (a not very salubrious part of Manchester) because the lock paddles were jammed.
Some youths came along and after shouting some abuse at us, started to try to smash the lock gates.
At which point the police were summoned and in a calm and non-confrontational way got them to desist.
They then gave us all a mobile no to call if we needed it, but we didn't.
The police come in for a lot of criticism and I think it's a pity that the good work they do often goes unnoticed and unpraised.

I've only just got around to reading the OP.

I find I don't feel particularly sympathetic to the Poster (in fact I feel irritated) but I'm not sure why that is especially as I'm a feminist myself.

I wonder how old these boys were. Eleven or twelve? I don't think I'd ask children of that age to 'keep their sexist remarks to themselves in future' because that's an adult response to childish behaviour and the remarks were not made to me personally.

I would avoid confrontation unless it was absolutely necessary because I would expect the boys to respond aggressively in order not to lose face with each other.

I agree it is irritating when people are walking along too closely behind you, particularly if they are talking loudly on their phones.

Reminds me of once years ago when I was walking along in a lonely country lane. Two young boys came along on bikes and one said to the other 'let's rape her'. I still feel puzzled.

Sometimes, as a woman, it is quite hard to really understand the male way of thinking.

She calls them 'young men' not boys of 11-12 I'd think.