"If she were writing a private journal for herself and not wanting to publish her writings, I'd agree, petallus, but as it is I think she, like most other writers, does care about what people think of her writing and wants to know. That's slightly different from not caring what people think of her, but not much."

Thatbags: actually, there's a huge difference. My books are not me. I write them, and let them go, and I would love to live from whatever they earn; ideally they would go out into the world and earn me bags of money so I wouldn't have to work at my day job! (I'm a social worker in a hospital; my clients are mostly geriatric, people with hip and knee replacements or who need aftercare).
Unfortunately, books don't sell themselves, and a little promotion is necessary. I hate it and I'm very bad at it. I don't like talking about my books. I do so as little as possible, in real life. I use a pen name, just so I can keep my private and public life separate.

Obviously, I would like readers to buy and read and enjoy my books. But part of the inner adventure I spoke of is learning not to be attached to "the fruit of action" -- that is, to let go, and not let the ego grow. I have never sought fame or applause for myself.

I hope this has clarified matters a bit.

pompa, you can ask me anything, age, weight, anything! It so happens my age and weight are the same: 63 and a half years, 63 and a half kilos!

I'm a bit confused here - is Sharon Maas your pen name? If it is, I don't see how you can keep your private and public lives separate as a google search throws up hundreds of photos of you!

LOL, if I manage to live another 25 years I might be able to say the same.

oops that should be 35 years

"I'm a bit confused here - is Sharon Maas your pen name? If it is, I don't see how you can keep your private and public lives separate as a google search throws up hundreds of photos of you!"

-- of course. But people google the name Sharon Maas, are looking for the author of that name. I promise you, nobody googles my real name, so they don't see that photo and can't make the connection. I assure you, I am completely anonymous in real life, with my real name. Even if someone who knows me were to google my real name, those photos would not appear.

Meditation cannot keep the neutrons in good nick. More likely to send you to sleep.

Do carry on enjoying your later years in quiet and meaningful contemplation.

All the best.

#justdontmakemeknit

... in fact, Ana, I just did exactly that -- I googled images of my real name, and only one of my "author" photos appeared, far down the page. So you see, anonymity is assured! If I were ever to become a truly popular author maybe the game would be over, but then I would definitely go into hiding!

"Meditation cannot keep the neutrons in good nick. More likely to send you to sleep."

jinglebellsfrocks, here is an article in ScienceDaily on the effects of meditation on the brain: www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100319210631.htm

"A new study suggests that nondirective meditation yields more marked changes in electrical brain wave activity associated with wakeful, relaxed attention than just resting without any specific mental technique."

So, actually, the very opposite of being sent to sleep! You should really try it one day!

But surely it only takes one of your real-life clients to read one of your books, enjoy it and google to see what else you've written, thereby seeing your image all over the page?

Sorry to nitpick, but you have, despite what you say, quite a high profile.

It's highly unlikely, Ana. I live in Germany. My books were once upon a time translated into German, but not any more. Nobody reads me in Germany, sadly! And if that did happen, no worries. It would not change me in any way, or my relationship to them. I do try to keep my author-persona separate from my real-life persona.

It's a bit different in my home country, Guyana, I admit, as I am well known there as an author and have had articles written about me, done TV interviews etc. But i learnt to do these things as if acting, playing a role as it were -- I still enjoy a perfectly normal private life with my friends there, which as nothing at all to do with being a writer. They are two separate things.

I'm not sure why the dislike is so intense; I must have come across as most obnoxious in the article. Further up, someone said that contentment is old age is only possible if you have good health, no family worries, no financial problems, etc, and so I assume that is the reason why I came across as smug? May I say here that only one of the above is true for me. I have good health, and that is it. My husband has been in a care home suffering from a debilitating neurological sickness as well as dementia; I visit him every day and it is heartbreaking. My two children live far away from me and my only grandchild lives in China and I see them all very infrequently. I struggle financially as the care home is very expensive, and I do need to travel to keep in touch with everyone, or to bring them here.

But these challenges are exactly what keeps me awake -- the adventure I spoke about. I believe it's not about having a perfect life: it's about learning to deal with challenges, learning to accept hardships and the things we DON'T want that gives life its purpose. So, even if my life looks boring from the outside, on the inside I am fighting a hundred battles every day, and making the best of many unwanted situations.

I'm sorry if my posts came across as critical, Sharon, I have no animosity towards you at all - I was just curioous about your claim to anonymity in your day-to-day life but can see now that it's perfectly feasible.

'curious' - gah!

That's OK -- curiosity is good!

I have tried meditation. I went to sleep.

Can't stop to read the article in the "science" mag. Casualty on soon.

"Curiosity is good"

Patronising or what!

I cant understand why this blogger has had such a hard time on here.
I always thought they were guests on the site, so am very surprised. Opened my eyes really.

I loved your blog.
And am also very glad that you are answering posts on here.
Most bloggers dont. I have never understood why.

You didnbt come across as arrogant to me at all.

I do have a theory. That sometimes our lives balance out in some way. So say, someone who has been very active in early life, then, for whatever reason is not so active in later life. [That may be quite a generalisation].

I dont understand why people cannot do what they like, and be who they really are, online.

People wouldnt dream of going up to people in the street and saying, "I dont like your scarf", or critise their taste in something.
But on internet sites, all sorts of things are seen as fair game. Even or especially someones' personality.

Why cant someone like boring or sound boring[I dont think that you do or are, Sharon].
But so what if you are.
I dont get why people on the internet find that irritating.
Or find it irritating, that someone posts that they have found their contentment.
I say good!
Why aren't posters allowed to be happy!

I expect if I had been born in Guyana, educated in England, had travelled a lot and had lived in India, Germany and Sussex, along with publishing several books, I might be feeling pretty confident and at peace with myself too.

Not all older people want to maintain an unrealistically youthful appearance, behave and dress like a 20 year old and lead an "adventurous" life. But I would guess most older people - even if they are generally quite content with their lives - would prefer not to be treated as if they were invisible and would like to feel that they had made the most of their lives.

Speaking personally, whilst I get great pleasure from my grandchildren and appreciate that I am luckier than a lot of people in terms of health and financial security, I do have some regrets about the fairly mundane life I have led and sometimes feel cross with myself for failing to spend more time developing some of my interests and abilities.

No doubt Ms Maas has worked hard for what she has achieved and deserves the contentment that she now feels. But it can come across as rather smug.

"I have tried meditation. I went to sleep."

Jinglebellsfrocks, that's much more precise! Perhaps you tried a flaky method that called itself meditation... many practices calling themselves meditation aren't much use -- the word is open to many interpretations. Or perhaps you gave up too soon -- who knows. And even if you use a tried and tested method, it takes perseverance to reap the benefits.

"I expect if I had been born in Guyana, educated in England, had travelled a lot and had lived in India, Germany and Sussex, along with publishing several books, I might be feeling pretty confident and at peace with myself too."

Eloethan, none of those things have anything to do with my confidence, or sense of peace as I grow old. The point I was trying to make -- and obviously failed! -- was that confidence should come from within, should be independent of outer achievements or qualifications. Publishing books does not give me confidence; it's the other way around! My way was to find out first who I truly am -- and THAT gave me the confidence to write, and to attempt publication. I was all of 49 when my first book was published -- no spring chicken. As a shy and introverted young woman I spent many years floundering around in vain.

The point of the article was that we should not let ourselves be defined by what society deems praise-worthy, by our achievements, by special attainments. We ARE worthy, in and of ourselves, every one of us! Right here and now! Even without "achieving" anything different or extraordinary. If we dig within ourselves we can find a source of fulfillment that is independent of all achievements, and then we can take great pleasure in the simple, everyday things in life. It's living in the here and now, instead of hankering after the extraordinary things we never achieved.

So, to say I worked hard for what I have achieved is completely the wrong end of the stick. My so-called achievements don't matter in the least, and they don't grant me contentment. Strip them all away, if you like. Happiness comes quite literally from within, and is self-sustaining. It doesn't need achievements. I've seen and admired the simplest people with no worldly achievements who radiate the greatest joy. Such people have always been my models -- not the great achievers.

I am rather confused regarding your claim to privacy - Is Sharon Mass not your real name ? If not, then yes you do manage to keep it well hidden on the internet.
I took it as a personal challenge to find out all I could about you, I certainly could not find any other name than Sharon Mass or your pen name. I suspect i know your mothers name as this is implied in various sources.
I'm intrigued.

She is hardly doing it quietly or she would just write a private diary.
I am not growing old gracefully and have no intention of ever doing so!

aruna: "confidence should come from within, should be independent of outer achievements or qualification". Yes. I get that. I would add that confidence should be independent of failures and regrets too. It is about inner integrity that has grown as one has matured. It is both because of and in spite of achievements, qualifications, failures and regrets. As one good freind of mine would say, go well with that, aruna. Wishing you well.

Yes. I get that. I would add that confidence should be independent of failures and regrets too. It is about inner integrity that has grown as one has matured. It is both because of and in spite of achievements, qualifications, failures and regrets. As one good freind of mine would say, go well with that, aruna. Wishing you well."

Thank you for that. These are exactly my thoughts.

She is hardly doing it quietly or she would just write a private diary.

Well, I hardly made a noise with this blog! I think you need to discern between my everyday life -- which is indeed extremely quiet and almost invisible -- and my public life as an author, in which I am required to go "out there" and talk. I do dislike talking, but I enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts, which is why I am a writer. I get that you don't agree with what I wrote, but to each her own, right?

I took it as a personal challenge to find out all I could about you, I certainly could not find any other name than Sharon Mass or your pen name. I suspect i know your mothers name as this is implied in various sources.

Well researched, Pompa! Yes, my mother's name is very public as she was famous in Guyana. In fact, my first idea was to write a blog about her, but I couldn't do her justice in 500 words so wrote it for my own blog instead. But that name is her own maiden name. My real, legal name, is not anywhere on the internet. It is a German name and even has an Umlaut! But all these names will only confuse you! They are:
My pen name - very public
My real (legal) name --- very private
My maiden name - semi-private
My mother's (maiden) name ---- very public

Have a lovely Sunday -- here in Germany the sun is shining, and I'm off to have a shower!