That's how I felt too, anno (2203 yesterday). Of course there is a sort of break in that you don't see them so often as you're used to, but that's all it is: a step in their lives and yours.

My dad (giver of loads of soundbite advice ) used to say: Take it in your stride. I think a bit more of taking things in stride generally wouldn't go amiss.

My experience with my next generation is that they don't make a fuss and especially my DiLs. They don't encourage whingeing either from my DSs or from my GC!

Same here. I never fail to be impressed by my grown up kids' practical competence and philosophical rationality.

Mine are wonderfully too. I sometimes feel that I may not have achieved a great deal in my life, but knowing that we turned out three competent adults and stayed friends with all of them and their partners is a source of pleasure pride.

Seeing how they in turn are bringing up thir children is another. Not always exactly as I would have done it, but the results are excellent. All the grandchildren have inherited something from both of the families, from us and from their other parents and grandparents.

I agree about taking things in one's stride. Or "sucking things up". One thing I've noticed about parents today is how invested they are in the minutiae of their offsprings' lives. They have to be involved in everything, they have to know about the fine detail of everything: school, friends' parents' lifestyles, what they are being taught, how they are being taught, what they're eating. It's never-ending and must be exhausting, especially as everyone has to be so busy these days.

I think the one thing that stands out for me, though, is the hysteria around the trustworthiness of adults. This, as far as I can see, is a recent development. I can remember being told not to get in a car with strange men but that's about it. The current paranoia has not only created a lucrative child protection business, but has created a shift in attitude towards adults who may come into contact with children, the overwhelming majority of whom are completely blameless. So vetting has taken over from trust. Under this system, we are guilty until we are proven innocent. And that's not what civilised human society should be about.

I agree about the lack of trust in adults and I can only remember the 'don't go off with strangers' rule too.

My parents certainly didn't know everything we got up to as children. We played outside with our friends all the time and never thought twice of going out to play in the morning and not coming home until lunchtime. We never went far really, but our parents would not have been able to say what we did during the time. Until I became a teenager, it would probably be only on the odd occasion I would 'play' in a friend's house. We were used to playing outside with lots of local children. Not a gang, just a large group of children of different ages. I wasn't allowed to go into town or go swimming on my own until I was a teenager, but I had a lot of freedom in my local area.

Yesterday when I was at the hairdressers, my hairdressers was talking about her 11 year old son being allowed for the first time to go to the local park on his own to meet some friends. It's only now I realise I did that from a younger age.

Children do seem more protected these days. We didn't have a car so we walked or got a bus to go places. Children seem to be driven everywhere now. Everything seems to be down to protecting the child, but I am not sure if this is overkill most of the time.

I really don't understand why some parents get upset and depressed when their offspring leave home.

I was only too relieved when my daughter left to go to university.
The constant demands and financial outlay was getting a bit wearing on the nerves. Of course, my husband and I supported her as much as possible, but oh the peace and quiet was lovely.

For those who feel differently, I say "get a life".

Anyway, they always come back eventually. It's not as though you will never see them again.

She has now settled down with a baby but the demands and financial outlay are even greater.

Good post Elegran. I feel the same about my sons.

I've noticed this trend too gettinginabit and Wilma - it's not to say these are bad parental traits, but they certainly seem to want to pry into every little nook and cranny, especially about school life.

On the odd occasion I asked my children what they did at school, the answer tended to be vague and I left it at that. Usually anything worthy of interest same out around the dinner table in general chit chat.

But I feel my DD and SiL in particular seem to grill their boys (5 & 9) about the school day and even what they had for lunch, and are not satisfied with being told everything is 'fine' or 'can't remember'.

Both are good, caring parents, but like others have posted seemed over concerned about the minutiae of their children's lives. I wonder what will happen in the teenage years when instead of 'fine' the answer is 'butt out of my life'?

Victoria08 - a woman after my own heart! Elegran, you sum up just the way I feel about the way my sons have turned out. They now seem to feel some responsibility for me!

I agree with that Anya, in fact teachers have had the wearying job for years of listening to gripes by parents, who interfere in all aspects including why their child isn't in the top rugby/ cricket/ netball team etc.

School attitudes don't help, anya. Just had a text from Minibags's school saying that "tracking reports" were given out today. Tracking reports!?!? Makes them sound like criminals.

Well there's two issues raised there bags, the tracking reports and the fact that you now get texts from schools (and emails probably).

In the 'good old days' one could choose to destroy lose letters send home from school as they were usually handed to the culprit pupil with a terse message to 'make sure you give that to your mother'.

No, they haven't started emails yet, but one can check details of whether school is open in v bad weather, for instance, on Twitter.

I honestly can't remember one example of my parents visiting my schools to check on how I was getting on.
Apart from once when I was about 10 and got into trouble about something
They trusted the teachers and let them get on with their job.
Our eldest daughter teaches Biology etc in a "public" school and parents often check up and complain ie blame her if their child doesn't get a good exam result. Partly because they're paying, I suppose.

I reckon I know what Minibags's will say before I've seen it.

So, now the discussion has reached education and that it is good to ignore any old upsetting thing that happens?

My 15 year old grandson is in a school which became an Academy a year ago and has switched to a new, probably cheaper, IT provider.

Grandson did his first GCSE, geography, last week, on a school computer, no printing out allowed, no saving allowed, and when he clicked it through it disappeared. No copies anywhere and the IT man at the school couldn't help. No, evidently he can't do the exam again. Zero mark expected. We have since heard this has happened before to other students.

So are we going to behave like Doris Day and say never mind, worse things happen at sea? You bet your life we are not.

No! You shouldn't. Kick up one helluva fuss!!!

Victoria08 you can take your "get a life" comment and stick it where the sun don't shine. And I hope it hurts.

I think this generation of parents, because of their involvement in their children's lives, are quite simply, much better than we were.

You only have to read Mumsnet to see how much they care about their children.

That's terrible, Anniegran! No saving? How ridiculous is that? And how demoralising for the poor boy having done the work but with nothing to show for it. I hope a solution can be found.

I'm amazed he was not allowed to save his work, Anniegran. When I was teaching we must have sounded like broken records imploring students to remember to save their work.

If it was an exam or coursework how would it be marked if not saved?

You are justified in kicking up a fuss especially if it has happened to other students as well.

It doesn't sound like "not allowed" as a policy to me It sounds like a cock-up.

There's no way he'd have been advised not to save his work by a proper teacher. Kick up a stink, anniegran. Definitely a cock-up.

I've been mulling over what Jinglebellsfrocks said, but still can't agree that increased involvement in the minutiae of a child's life makes someone a better parent.

To me, this overwhelming desire to know every detail of a child's day at school (to pick just one example) says more about the parents' neediness than it does about concern for the child. From the point of view of the child's welfare and development, surely it's much more important to be there to listen if they do want to tell you about their day, and to look out for signs that something might be troubling them and need further probing, rather than persist in this silly and usually unproductive interrogation of their day!

I certainly don't buy into the idea that modern parents care more about their children than previous generations of parents did.
Current approaches to parenthood seem to be very different from anything that's gone before - natural I suppose given the advent and influence of the Internet and social media, but is there any real evidence anywhere that suggests that this makes for better parenting? There might be, but I haven't seen any.

Regarding what happened to AnnieGran's DGS, I don't think anyone is going to suggest for one moment that he or his parents should just suck it up and get a life. It's not the same thing. It's a real and potentially very serious problem. Like all such problems, it requires action, and should most certainly not be taken lying down.
That said, once such problems have been tackled, successfully or otherwise, there surely must come a point in the future where it would be far healthier to let it go if at all possible ...

Just my humble opinion, of course.