Wilma I rather resent posts which are a long list of intrusive questions to other posters, so I'm not going to answer any of them.

If you think or suspect some of us smacked our children, resent the way our DCs bring up our DGCs, went out to work when our children were little, why don't you just say so?

I don't know any parents (but especially the Mums) who didn't have mixed emotions when each of their children went off to university, etc.,. A mixture of loss, end of something and pride. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Playing devil's advocate -

Do some of you unknowingly resent your children raising your grandchildren differently to how you raised them?

How many of you will admit to disciplining your children by smacking them?

How many of you went out to work when your children were young, so child care was a problem if a child was ill and needed to stay off school?

Do you really resent how much your children praise and encourage their own children, instead of telling them when they need to do better?

Don't you think your children are trying to do their best for their own children?

Do you think you were better parents than your children are?

Do you think your grandchildren are generally well adjusted children who are kind and caring - or something else?

Just asking.

I was excited for my DSs when they cut the apron strings - though they'd been fairly loose anyway. I could remember when I did it and if it was good for me it would be even better for them. And there were plenty of things for me to get my teeth into with them out of the way.

merlot the one that gets me is the "feeling emotional" tag ... when the Facebook post that accompanies it is something like "cake flopped..."

I read a column somewhere - I think it was in the Metro - calling for "Let's have a Human Interaction Only Day" where all technological interaction is off limits for the whole day. It really made me stop and think ... it will come have to come to that, declaring an official day, because soon entire generations won't know what that was like.

I agree with Bel. There's much ado about nothing a lot of the time.

Children leaving home is one of life's losses and it is natural to mourn, I think, even when you have known from the moment they were born that the moment would come, and even if you would be worried if they showed no inclination to leave!

Of course if you are a grownup yourself you accept this loss in the knowledge that you will be compensated with the satisfaction of knowing that you have brought up your child to be competent to stand on his or her own feet!

Well, it was a hell of a wrench for me. It felt really life changing. It was life changing. I still get mini versions of the saying goodbye trauma when they come to visit and go home again.

Different strokes for different folks I suppose. Either that or I'm a bit nutty.

Why? I don't get it about people being 'upset' or 'howling for days' when their kids go to uni. What is there to be upset about? Mind you, that has brought back a memory... My parents, I learned later, were worried that I'd be homesick during my first term at uni. If I'd known about ROFL back then that's what I'd have done. Homesick? Nope. Not for a second. I was a young adult ready to spread my wings.

So I remembered that when my kids went off on their early adult adventures (one still to go). Either you've brought them up to become independent of you and have been expecting it for years, or you haven't.

Surely?

I shut down my Facebook account because I got sick of the keeping up with the Jones attitudes, although I prefer the Boastbook nickname. I do have a Facebook account now but it is completely private and just used on the odd occasion I need an account to take part in something.

I was taught that pride goes before a fall but these days everyone has to be proud.....of yourself, your kids, your cat, your latest car, the meal you've just managed to cook. Facebook could be renamed Boastbook but if anything goes pearshaped it's an earth shattering experience which has to be shared with one and all so the sympathy can flood in.

It always makes me chuckle when somebody wails that their washing machine has flooded the whole kitchen and they get at least 35 'likes'.

I am frequently moved to tears at the sight of cruelty to animals or children suffering life limiting conditions on the TV but I'm usually shouting, 'Get a grip' at all the crocodile tears being shed by spineless wimps.

wilmaknickersfit I agree with you my kids look everything up on Google and jump to the worst case scenarios. by the way I was pretty upset when my kids went to uni

'after'

"Young women take offence and get angry if a man pays a compliment and the fuss goes on for weeks."

I think she was probably referring to the lawyer in the Linkedin furore, Charlotte Proudman who made such a fuss.

I'm sure Bel Mooney didn't have any objection to being 'letched over'!

The paranoia is driven by the media and technology that enables the communication of information 24 hours a day. 30 years ago mobile phones for all didn't exist, computers were not in every home. The world is a small place these days and back in the day, what we didn't know about didn't hurt us.

And her book's called, "Lifelines. Words to help you through"!

Oh, you reckon you can sort out all the problems these people haven't really got?!

Oh, I love journos.

Forgot the

"Young women take offence and get angry if a man pays a compliment and the fuss goes on for weeks."

That is a bloody ridiculous thing to say. She was letched after Bel!!!

Well, I howled for days when each of my kids went off to university.

And what does she mean by "the rough and tumble of life" that she reckons people can't cope with?

Parents now seem to have no confidence in themselves and little common sense. They worry too much.
I raised four children without any family to help, without Google or Mumsnet and without ever going to A&E.
I admire my daughters' ability to work full-time, pursue further degrees and bring up children all at the same time. It would be easier for them if they weren't told so often that every word and action will affect their children for life and if schools weren't now run like prison camps.

I agree too much fuss is made these days but I am in awe at the patience of my daughters so may be they are raising a more sensitive and considerate generation? Over reaction to childrens illnesses and normal falls and spills is in part due to the health professionals and the internet.

I agree with you, triciaF. It's the Precious Snowflake Syndrome. I can understand parents wanting better for their children than they had themselves, but what I really don't get is the hysteria around the bringing up of children. It's as if children are somehow permanently at risk-of what, though?

Parenting has turned into a performance, so whereas in the past you'd be given sharp words and robust boundaries, children these days are surrounded by parental hysteria,and overreaction to what used to be everyday minor inconveniences such as strict discipline at school has turned childhood into a drama.

I was in a small, suburban Lidl yesterday where a gran with two kids in tow (about 6 and 9) was,warning her two small charges of the risk of strangers in the store. This level of risk-aversion must be exhausting, especially given that the real risk of stranger abduction is something like twelve million to one. I wanted to shake her and say "get a grip, woman!".

I can't understand where this thinking has come from. Western children have it better than ever, so why the paranoia?

And get more news coverage.

Yes, just that the fusspots make more noise.

I've only ever aspired to let my kids have as good a childhood as I had. They've had more material possessions but I don't count that as necessarily better. I guess I was lucky to have well educated but no nonsense parents. Good role models.

I agree, bel. People are awful fusspots nowadays. Some people that is. It probably isn't the majority even though it sometimes seems like that.

I have a theory about this, it's to do with the start of birth control and planned families. Whereas in the past we had to accept the children born to us, and make the best of it, relying on parental love and instinct.
Not very kind to say this, but I think some parents treat children as if they were just more material possessions that need to be guarded and promoted at all costs. Not separate individuals with a right to make mistakes, have accidents etc in order to learn.

I agree totally with Bel, though I think the process started with our generation, and the way we wanted better for our children than we'd had ourselves. The determination for our children never to know failure certainly did (the non-competitive school sports, the heaping on of praise for a B where our parents would have asked why it wasn't an A, the advice not to use the word no if at all possible). Like janea, I've always been a "pull yourself together" sort, so my lot probably feel aggrieved. But at least they're not likely to be call round weeping about it any time soon!