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LucyGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 12-May-16 14:48:23

Why home schooling is better than school

Would you be happy to see your grandchildren home schooled? Author Vanessa Ronan was home schooled by her parents and maintains that it was the best, and most empowering, decision they could have taken.

Vanessa Ronan

Why home schooling is better than school

Posted on: Thu 12-May-16 14:48:23

(80 comments )

Lead photo

Is homeschooling better than normal school?

When I was little and other kids found out I was home schooled, the first thing they'd always ask was "Do you get to sleep in as late as you want?" Usually followed by the next question: "Can you go to school in your pyjamas?" Most of them were jealous I got to stay home all day. What they didn't seem to realise was, even though I was home, I was still working hard too!

My parents started home schooling my brother and me intending it only for a couple of years till we moved "someplace better". It didn't take long for us to move; in fact, we moved many times as I grew up, but we ended up home schooling all the way until college. My parents were both literature professors, so there was definitely a strong emphasis placed on our writing from a very young age. That being said though, my brother and I naturally gravitated more towards that side of our studies. Writing stories and poems was almost like a game for us, and we’d read and edit each other's work from a very young age. We lived in Patzcuaro, a colonial village in the mountains of central Mexico for two and a half years. I was nearly eight when we came back to Texas, but I remember clearly how my parents sat my brother and me down and asked us if we wanted to go to 'normal school'.

If one particular subject matter fascinated, we were allowed and encouraged to study it to the fullest of our capabilities. It is only as an adult that I have realised what a truly remarkable gift that was.


In many ways, home schooling kept learning fun. When we were little, we were given breaks throughout the day to play for 15 minutes while my mother prepared our next lesson. Or else, we would be rewarded with getting to read a storybook just for fun! We then would come back to our studies twice as attentive, excess energies exhausted, minds ready to absorb again.

Home schooling let me learn at my own pace. I started at four, completed third grade in three months, graduated high school when I had just turned sixteen. I think I would have gotten bored quite easily had I been forced to adhere to the pace and rules of a classroom at too young an age. Bullying was never really an issue for us, but, through sports and activities, we still had friends.

Of course (especially closer to college), there were government requirements of certain things we were expected to learn, certain tests we had to take, but, as we grew, by and large my parents empowered us to study what truly interested us. If one particular subject matter fascinated, we were allowed and encouraged to study it to the fullest of our capabilities. It is only as an adult that I have realised what a truly remarkable gift that was.

Our creativity was nurtured and empowered though home schooling. We were encouraged to be ourselves. We were taught to think for ourselves. And yes, sometimes we even got to go to school in our pyjamas.

Vanessa's book The Last Days of Summer is published by Penguin Ireland and is available now on Amazon.

By Vanessa Ronan

Twitter: @VRonan

granjura Mon 16-May-16 20:17:04

Very talented family indeed- but here you couldn't avoid chemistry- like all the other subjects it's compulsory. (well not 'here' as such as I am in lovely, sunny Rutland)-

Didn't mean to divert the topic- just thought some will find it interesting to know it is illegal in some parts of the world to HS.

Even a talented familiy like yours may still find it very difficult to teach at that very high level- I know 100s of teachers who teach secondary who would find it very difficult to teach at A'Level- including teaching for very specific exams with very specific requirements, and not 'just' the subjects. But anyway, we digress- back to the subject.

durhamjen Mon 16-May-16 20:12:45

Sorry, I missed out engineering. We have one of those as well.

durhamjen Mon 16-May-16 20:11:40

It's not possible to retake here now.

My granddaughters are not homeschooled. They enjoy school. However in our family we have teachers of English, maths, physics, languages (German, Spanish, French), biology, music, drama, geography and history as well as sociology at degree level. A lot of teachers in the family. Special needs as well.
I think we could manage, unless some awkward person wanted A level chemistry.

granjura Mon 16-May-16 20:05:11

Sorry DJ, missed the last question. Those who are not able to study for academic education post 16 will go to a vocational college but more usually do an 3 to 4 year apprenticeship learning a trade, with 1 day release to go to college. Apprenticeships are highly respected- and students who are late developers can then bridge to do the BAC/matu concurrently or later- and enter Uni that way.

Academic post 16 ed and University is just not for all- and most people accept and respect this.

granjura Mon 16-May-16 20:01:13

Unfortunately,, the term 'baccalaureate' ws totally misused by Gove-

On the Continent, Baccalauréat or Matura = examination at 18/19 (used as university entrance qualification) - and includes for that level (in the England A'Levels - 4 subjects for AS, 3 for A for most students) the same subjects as for end of school exam (GCSEs in England) - they are exam only, no coursework, and cannot be re-taken piecemeal (eg you fail one you re-take the year and re take all subjects - I know students who have retaken 3 times, and failed a different subject each time, failing to gain the massively important 'BAC' or 'matu' (for short).

It would be almost impossible for 'normal' people to teach successfully so many subjects at that level, without a awful lot of professional teachers' input.

durhamjen Mon 16-May-16 19:51:40

My granddaughter, 16, is taking the baccalaureate instead of A levels. I think it's a new system because it can be instead of GCSEs, but this is at 6th form college instead of A levels after she has taken 12 or 13 GCSEs, so sounds much like the system you are talking about, granjura.

My homeschooled grandson is only likely to take 2 GCSEs. He could possibly take one in general knowledge, knowing all the capitals and flags and railways, rivers and road systems, but I don't think there is a GCSE in that!

What happens, granjura, to those who cannot study 9-11 subjects?

granjura Mon 16-May-16 19:33:49

Where I live, it is illegal to homeschool- as it is considered to prevent children from getting normally socialised, and generally 'condemsn' them from continuing academic education post 16 and therefore university entrance. Ths because the post 16 syllabus includes all the traditional subjects up to the Uni entrance exams at 18/19 (all sciences, 2 foreign languages, history, geography, etc, etc, 9 to 11 subjects)- which is very different to the extremely narrow AS/A Level system in England and Wales. Not saying this is right or wrong- but some may be interested that it is illegal in some parts of the world.

Leticia Mon 16-May-16 19:09:58

I don't know anyone who home school because it suits them, but it is very common on Mumsnet.
You often get a post that says 'I want to home ed but my DC loves school- what should I do'? As if they need to even ask. They also do it because they hated school or had a tough time and they project it onto their child.
Lots of parents on Mumsnet have a parenting philosophy before they have even had the child!

durhamjen Mon 16-May-16 16:54:46

That article has got nothing to do with homeschooling. It's a problem caused by this government in allowing free schools and private schools to proliferate.
Nobody can charge children who are homeschooled but that article says that parents are charged a lot of money for this type of schooling.
Choosing to send your children to an unregistered school is not homeschooling.

This government allows free schools and academies to have unqualified teachers.
It's reaping what it has sown.

I get worried about people who cannot spell Guardian. That rings alarm bells with me.

Pamish Mon 16-May-16 16:16:26

@NotSpag, I didn't mean that homeschooled children should have to follow the regular curriculum, not at all. My concern is that those whose job it is to educate them have the necessary skills and/or access to those who do - eg mumofmadboys' post re the child allowed to slip 2-3 years behind.

And now today the story emerges of 'homeshooled' children being in illegal schools - a concern of mine as live not far from a cluster of religious 'schools' in private houses where I see through frosted glass, young people praying all day. There doesn't seem to be anything anyone can do to challenge this, as the rights of the parents reign supreme - that's what's wrong.

From today's Graun: The chief inspector of schools has called on ministers to tighten the rules on home education, claiming they are being exploited by a growing number of illegal schools across England. More than 100 suspected unregistered schools have been uncovered by inspectors in the past five months. At some of them children are being taught in “unsafe and unhygienic premises” by staff who have not been properly checked.

Anyone else hear alarm bells about potential abuse (all sorts)?

durhamjen Sun 15-May-16 22:59:52

I actually do not know anyone who homeschools because it suits them. All the ones I know do it for the sake of the child/ren. It is much easier to send children to school. Home schooling is hard work.

Leticia Sun 15-May-16 19:06:47

I can think of circumstances where I would home educate but thankfully it wasn't necessary.
I think it should be what suits the child , I am a bit distrustful of the parent who does it because it suits them, without wondering about the child, or the sort who project their own school experience onto their child.
I was horrified recently to find that someone advises pregnant women how to get their 'bump' into the top schools. This is when they haven't a clue what their child will be like! How on earth can you decide on the best education for a baby? Another case of 'all children' - as if one size fits all.

trisher Sun 15-May-16 18:24:49

Don't worry I've been called worse things.
My youngest DS was out of education from 14, we did a bit of home schooling but he was very traumatized and thought he couldn't do things (he is dyslexic). Eventually he did a photography course at an FE college and this turned his life around. He now has an MA. He still has problems reading and writing (thank goodness for technology). I think we sometimes imagine children will be completely lost if they don't jump through the hoops we set them whereas with encouragement and support they get through things (just like the rest of us).

NotSpaghetti Sun 15-May-16 12:24:22

Sorry Trisher, I called you Tricia.

durhamjen Sun 15-May-16 10:54:18

I think one of the problems is that many parents do not know that home schooling is possible, and legal. They think their children have to go to school, not have to be educated.

annsixty Sun 15-May-16 10:38:38

henetha my D's situation mirrors yours. My GD will be 14 soon and my D has just taken her out of school for similar reasons. The school was not helpful. She is getting lots of help from the LEA and we hope she will eventually go back but she is starting the GCSE syllabus now.

henetha Sun 15-May-16 10:18:47

I'm totally in favour of home schooling, - if it meets a particular child's needs.
My youngest grandchild aged 13 is now being home schooled, and I am one of her teachers at home, and she is thriving on it. She was desperately unhappy at school as the victim of much bullying and was completely unable to fit in anywhere. She is apparently ADHD and these children often end up being home schooled.
This situation is only temporary. A specialised college has been found for her and she starts there in September. We are hoping the small classes and special teaching will help her. If it fails, then it's back to the home schooling.

trisher Sun 15-May-16 09:51:57

I had a similar experience with my mother Leticia maybe that's what made me ask the question. Thanks for all the info. I did wonder if the economic situation, parents working long hours etc had affected things, but home schooling seems to be thriving. But I do agree the title is wrong- it's what suits your child not, "my way is better than yours".

mumofmadboys Sun 15-May-16 07:27:49

I knew someone once who home schooled their son. Unfortunately the parents had both been to special schools and didn't have the abilities required to home school. The result was that after 2-3 years their son was way behind and went to school. I guess this is a very unusual situation but this little lad could have slipped through the net for longer with worse consequences. Maybe the parents had poor memories of schooldays.

NfkDumpling Sun 15-May-16 07:11:48

I think I would have had the ability to home school our lot up to secondary level, but my lack of knowledge/ability/intelligence in science and maths would have meant our DC would have had to have joined 'normal' school at eleven. I don't know how well they would have coped. I also needed to return to work full time around then too.

My DGC are all in the fortunate position of going to good local schools with lots of parent/teacher interaction and children mixing for various out of school activities. Home schooling doesn't seem to be a necessary option for them at present. The problem for DD1 will arise when DGD1 goes on to high school as they live in Buckinghamshire which has a grammar school system and there's very little prospect of her passing the eleven plus. The school she will have to attend is not good.

NotSpaghetti Sun 15-May-16 00:49:47

I'm really sorry if I sound like I'm defending it aggressively. That really isn't how I feel about it. Home ed worked for us, but just as school doesn't suit everyone, neither does home education. I certainly agree that it's not "best" ! That's totally ridiculous. For some children It would be dire!

Furthermore, at least once a month I would ask myself if we were still doing the right thing. We would constantly question if what we were doing was still in the best interests of our children, and we did go to look at some local and local-ish schools in case we saw something there that we couldn't offer. As well as this we looked at a school in Scotland which we seriously considered moving close to specifically because it seemed to offer the sort of education we wanted for our children.

As well as this, I'm aware that home ed often suits a child for a while. My closest friend had one child that flexischooled for years, another who went to school at 12 for about two years, one who was homeschooled and one who started school at rising five, came out at 7 and went back at 16 for A levels. So as your children get older you do keep on re-visiting decisions, involving them in discussions sometimes, as appropriate.

Re social mix Tricia, it's pretty much like the real world, a mix of all sorts. The larger week-long meetings in our day were massively subsidised by the better off to allow other people to pay what they could afford. This meant that my friend who was managing totally on benefits and a cleaning job could bring her daughter alongside another friend who was a medic. Like real life though, if you are more highly educated it seems that it's much less scary if you decide to do something different, such as taking a child out of school, and probably, if you doubt yourself, you are more likely to use a structured textbook to aid learning. There are always going to be some families who get on well and yes, possibly this narrows the mix a bit, but in our case I think we can say the children had a pretty wide range of friends. Certainly it was wider than it would have been if they had gone to their catchment junior school, and wider than the social mix of most public schools.

Now there are more families doing it, I expect there will be more people meeting up with people from their immediate areas (especially in towns and cities) so you may find that in some areas this may limit the social mix. My daughter can walk easily to five families at the moment. Three have similar houses, jobs, and lifestyles. They live on the same road. That's a narrow mix!

Anyway, I'm sorry if I sounded defensive. I think I do just feel it's another way of doing things, and as such has merits and demerits. Also, my knowledge is a whole generation old!

As parents we are constantly making choices right from the off. We don't get two goes at getting it right. Who knows what is really "best"? We just all do the best we can with the info we have at the time, and base our choices on that.

durhamjen Sat 14-May-16 22:41:52

Trisher, my grandson belongs to a football team made of all his friends at the primary school.
When he went to the secondary school, he never saw any of them at school as they were all in different classes. However, the football team was for those who enjoyed a kickaround but would never get in the school teams for various reasons.
It's still going after four years.

Leticia Sat 14-May-16 19:21:36

I thought it a good example NotSpaghetti. I love it, but my husband stays at home, he hates it!
I just got irritated by the title because everyone is so different and there is no best or better , all you can say is 'better for........' with the realisation that it will be worst for some.
I am one of those people who needs other people to bounce ideas off and I need a teacher. If I want to learn something today then I find a class. While I don't mind the different ages, it is very comfortable to have them all around my own age.
I would like home education to be completely normal, main stream - just a choice- and I would like it monitored for the sake of the children. Wanting to do it doesn't mean that you are any good at it. (There does need to be the understanding that there will be just about as many methods as families, and that it won't replicate school).

trisher Sat 14-May-16 18:53:21

I was thinking of scouts/youth groups and such things. They are noticeably less in number than they once were and I wondered if this affected home schooled children at all. It wasn't a criticism just a question. School didn't always suit my dyslexic son, but one of the things that he gained there is a group of supportive friends with whom he still shares ideas and projects. I think home schooling is fine if it suits you but I do wonder why home schoolers have to defend it so aggressively. I had intended to ask about the social mix of home educated children and how wide it was, but perhaps I won't bother.

NotSpaghetti Sat 14-May-16 18:21:55

Leticia just re read your earlier post - I hate the very idea of skiing grin please don't take me on holiday!

Wish I'd known you years ago though... You could have enjoyed the endless skiing lessons that I sat through whilst my youngest daughter practiced!