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jacksmum Thu 12-Jan-17 18:26:01

I have always walked with my g/children ,from tiny babies in prams ,onwards we chat about our surroundings and about life, i have never needed prompting with questions to ask, could i ask is the OP a grandparent? as i am sure these types of walks and chats we have are normal and have been for many years.

Jalima Thu 12-Jan-17 18:12:01

Actually, if we go for a walk we are usually looking at the trees, different leaves, flowers, toadstools, trying to identify them, looking for a good stickman, birds, a squirrel etc.

How could I have got it all so wrong?

grannyqueenie Thu 12-Jan-17 17:55:43

I'm all for using gently probing questions with children, or adults for that matter, when there's a specific worry or problem causing concern and I'm trying to tease out what's really going on. But it seems like the article wants us to turn every interaction into a therapy session, children are very astute and would just think it was weird and clam up or as my 2 teenage granddaughters would say "that's a bit random"! If we spend time with children just doing ordinary stuff, having fun and making it clear we love them and are interested in their lives the chances are they'll be open to talk about their worries anyway.

annsixty Thu 12-Jan-17 17:48:48

Obviously we all have.

Jayanna9040 Thu 12-Jan-17 17:34:59

Oh now I've actually read down to the questions bit, I think it's terrible. Can't you just walk and chat? Or have I been doing it wrong all these years?

Jayanna9040 Thu 12-Jan-17 17:28:15

Gosh, to think grandparents never did this till it was invented!

LucyGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 12-Jan-17 16:36:50

Empathy Walks and why they're important

Are today's children lacking in empathy? Psychotherapist William Pullen thinks so - which is why he has invented the epathy walk. Should you take your grandchildren on one?

William Pullen

Empathy Walks and why they're important

Posted on: Thu 12-Jan-17 16:36:50

(31 comments )

Lead photo

Would you take an empathy walk with your grandchildren?

We all know that getting out and getting moving is a tried and tested method to raise the spirit – as they say, 'movement is medicine'. But how about if you could go for a walk and learn an important skill too? As a psychotherapist I wanted to examine this further, and have now developed a form of psychotherapy, Dynamic Running Therapy. It blends walking or running, with psychotherapy and the outdoors and, drawing on the healing qualities of conversation, movement and nature, it includes exercises intended to help children learn the skills of talking and listening. These exercises are specifically designed to improve the levels of empathy in children.

Why is this important? Well, research from the University of Michigan shows a dramatic decline in empathy among the young over the last 30 years, with the steepest decline reported in the last 10 years. Psychologists, parents and teachers are reporting an 'empathy crisis'. No one is sure what is influencing this dramatic change - it could overuse of technology or gaming, superficial networks of friends, reduced participation in clubs and other social organisations or a dozen other possibilities. Everyone is too busy to really sit down and spend time with one another and when they do is brief and often involves electronic devices. Children don’t know any better and are learning this behaviour, in part, from their parents.

Psychologists, parents and teachers are reporting an 'empathy crisis'. No one is sure what is influencing this dramatic change - it could overuse of technology or gaming, superficial networks of friends, reduced participation in clubs and other social organisations or a dozen other possibilities.


The good news is that the researchers at the University of Michigan believe that empathy is highly fluid, meaning that it can potentially increase as easily as it decreases. Through a combination of question and answer sessions about everything from nature to friendships, concerns at school or home, 'empathy walks' (or runs) can create a bridge across the 'empathy gap'.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your grandchild is a sense of being seen and heard – and these walks give you one-on-one time together to make that happen, to get your grandchild talking, listening properly and asking questions.

How best to do this? Well, first of all listen. Listening is what empathy is all about.

Also have fun – be creative, use your imagination, teach your grandchildren about plants, tress, flowers and most of all, how the outdoors is a wonderful place in which to play and experiment.

Ask questions: about nature, schoolwork, friendships, emotions – happiness/unhappiness, kindness, courage, anger.

Don't worry about where, how far or the pace at which you walk. Just get outside and explore. It's about connecting with nature and your grandchild and helping them to talk, listen and above all, empathise.

Example Questions to ask on the walk

- Do you think you are a good friend? Why?
- How could you make a friend feel better without using any words?
- When you forgive someone, how does it feel afterwards?
- When you were last angry or sad, what made you feel better? Did someone help you?
- How could you help someone feel more confident?
- What is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?
- How would you make someone feel happier if they were sad?

William's book, Run For Your Life, is published by Penguin and is available from Amazon.

By William Pullen

Twitter: @Pullentherapy