Upset about disorganized book group

Unless you choose War and Peace or similar one book a month is not too demanding ! On occasion I’ve forgotten to finish a book or chosen not to....I still attend the meeting. To me asking to cancel the day before is not only rude but rather arrogant !
I’d state your case and the. If they don’t like it look for another group of that’s possible.

Our book group is 25 years old. One good planner sets out the dates for the year every January. We meet six weekly. If you’re away on holiday you miss out but send written comments and your score to the person hosting. This year we have met on zoom, usually all of us as no one is going anywhere.
Yes I’d be irritated by dates being shifted to accommodate someone who hasn’t finished the book , or fancies doing something else

I have been a book club member for many years now and I really enjoy it, as you obviously do. In 'normal' times we met on the 3rd Wednesday evening of the month in a local pub. Over the past year we have had to make do with Zoom. We have a lady in charge of the book club and every 6 months we put forward recommendations for books we might enjoy as a group and she requests them from our local library and collects the book we have finished with and returns them. We all have different commitments on our time so occasionally the book for that month hasn't been finished but we don't alter meetings because of it. I think you need to tell them how you feel. Everyone in a group should have a voice and an entitlement to put forward their opinion. I have just finished The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. I can highly recommend it. Happy Reading.

Our book group meets once a month but one meeting is to discuss the book and the other is purely social which used to be in the pub. That gives us 2 months to read the book and have time to read other books as well. It does take the pressure off.
However, it is not fair to postpone the day before.

Maybe you should address this again, once and for all. Those who don't have work commitments will be flexible and very casual about changing times. Are you the only one working in the group? I imagine you want to be there, not just send a report in, no fun at all.

You could spell it out and say (nicely) either you all agree to stick to the times religiously in the future, to avoid you wasting limited holiday, or you will reluctantly leave. They may not have thought of it from your point of view.

All of the book groups I've been involved with over the years have read a book a month. The majority of people will have read the book in that time but you will always have the odd one or two who haven't managed it as life has got in the way. I don't think it's reasonable to keep shifting a group because of that as people may simply start to think 'Oh I don't need to worry about finishing the book because we can meet the next week instead'. It's annoying for you when you have made the effort and taken unpaid leave so you can go to the group. However, as others have said, simply join in the discussion without voicing exactly you feel and then see what happens with the next read. If the group continues to move the date, have a think whether you want to stay with this group and try and find another group locally. One group I was in met every week in the library, we read a book a month and each week we were supposed to have read to a certain page. I eventually stopped going to that group because we had a couple of people who were more interested in talking about the buses or the local NHS services and talking over people discussing the current read. We had time at the beginning of the group to chat while we made drinks, so there was no excuse for the chat to go on during the group itself. I just felt it was very rude. After I left I realised I didn't miss the group at all. I carried on reading at home and then found 2 more groups for me to join which were much better.
There will be a better group out there for you somewhere. Good Luck from someone who loves reading and regularly gets through at least 3 books a week and I can understand your frustration with these people.

I can see both sides really.
On the one hand, I can understand how annoyed you must feel and I would be too. ‘I haven’t read the book’ isn’t a good enough reason to expect everyone else to change the date, and their own arrangements.

On the other, a book every month seems quite a tall order. I would struggle to manage to read a book group book, as well as reading books of my own choice in a month.

The book group I’m in meets every 6 to 8 weeks and even so, we’ve had people drop out because they say there isn’t time to read the group book as as well as their own choices.
Lockdown has certainly not helped. All our meetings have been on zoom and it’s just not the same.

In the past (pre-lockdown) we have certainly changed dates of meetings when it’s turned out that several people were going to be away but never just because someone hasn’t read all the book.

Have never been in a book group, but can sympathise with you.

I'm on your side CanadianGran. I hadn't been able to read the book for my last Zoom meeting but joined in anyway to listen to the discussion.
In my opinion if things are allowed to slip once for one member the trend will escalate and things will become a mess.
Hopefully your bad experience and dignified response will remind the group why they tightened rules up the last time!

I was in a book group for nearly 20 years and was leader/host for about 5 and got more and more frustrated by similar attitudes,. I also had enough of hosting it 12 months a year. There was always an excuse for that.
I announced, out of the blue, that I was resigning. People were horrified and poured compliments on my choices of books, hosting etc. After two years, I’ve seen two of them a couple of times. Was royally dumped.
Perhaps you should change your group? Start a new one?

I don't blame you at all, CanadianGran, for being extremely annoyed at the disruption to your planned Book Group meeting. It is very bad-mannered to change a meeting at such short notice, simply because people haven't bothered to read the book in time. The problem lies in the fact that Book Groups are informal organisations; the meetings are usually held in places where it is not necessary to book or pay for a venue, and, to put it delicately, include members who are, um, used to controlling events in their own households and don't always consider the needs of others.
It is also hard as members are friends.
I have been a member of a large book group for many years, and these sort of challenges have arisen, usually from the same few people who don't want to miss meetings but are not prepared to compromise on their own arrangements.
I would join in the texting discussion but just reiterate without acrimony how much you were looking forward to discussing the book, as you had suggested it, and the fact you had booked time off from work because you wanted to hear the opinions of others. It sounds as though some members have realised what they have done, so grit your teeth and hold hard to your line without losing face.
Hope the meeting goes ahead.