Home care package for 92 year old father

Lots of (((hugs))) - Perhaps it's getting near your dad's time to wind down? if he doesn't want to get up, why should he? It took a little persuasion for my mother to pee into her incontenence pad rather than ask for a bed pan, but having been told it would avoid the discomfort of the pan, she was much happier. Would he accept pads at night?

(i'm now off to visit mum. She has, as the nurse said, slipped over the edge. Previously it's been a step down and then levelling for a bit but now she's accepting what's to be and happy to go. The time is right.
The care home are being wonderful. She's kept warm and comfortable. Given sips of whatever drink she fancies and puréed food - but only if she wants it. They offer, but don't make her feel obliged. We've been so lucky with this care home)

mishap my heart goes out to you and your dear Dad xx

Actually, as a thought, has anyone suggested a penile sheath with attached collecting device for the urinary problems?

Yes galen he has a convene and this is causing lots of problems - he fiddles with it which renders it less secure; he forgets that he has it there and keeps calling out at night saying he needs to wee; and anatomically (as a 90 year old man) there is not a lot to secure it to!! This has been the battle. At one point it just flew right off!

Nfk - I do not think that Dad will give in and wind down - he is in many ways a tough old bird in spite of his sorry state. His blood pressure and heart are in fine fettle - but he is immobile, weak and sometimes muddled. I am so glad that your mum is receiving the appropriate gentle care as she nears the end of her life and send lots of kind thoughts to you at what must be a difficult time.

I am researching in detail the conditions for CHC funding as I am convinced that the district nurse and social worker are not assessing in the correct manner - they are looking at his needs WITH the package of care, rather than his needs per se. I think I will have a battle on my hands but am determined to do my best in this regard as Dad so wants to stay at home and his savings are vanishing like snow in summer at the moment. I feel sorry for them as I am sure they did not go into their chosen professions to act as financial gaterkeepers!

Thanks Mishap

Can Age UK help? They seem to know their way around the system

Have you applied forAA YET?

If I may, I'll stick my update in here as well.

Mum seems to be settling in at the nursing home. Her care needs are now being met and her anxiety has decreased thanks to a change in medication and more than likely, realising she is away from the abuse and neglect she was suffering in her last care home. Like Mishap's dad her heart is strong and blood pressure fine so although she is now bedridden she is showing no real signs of 'giving in.'

It feels strange to have completely handed over her care to others but the relief is immense. DH and I had a late night out at a friend's retirement party last night and this morning I had the first lie-in in months without having one eye on the clock worrying about mum's washing, shopping, feeding etc.

Mishap and Nfk, I'm thinking you both.

nfk so glad your mum has the care she needs, it must make the inevitable a little easier for you.

merlot what a relief for you after all you've done

mishap please keep us posted on your progress regarding funding - I think we will be going down that route when mum is eventually released from the awful unit in which she is currently existing. We found out yesterday that she has started a treatment which means she will be there for at least another month. How she copes I don't know but I try to avoid going as it is so awful.

You can apply for AA while in hospital to make sure you have entitlement.

kitty

If the person who is resident in a care home is self-funding, he/she will be eligible for AA. However, if the fees are being paid by the local authority and/or the NHS, they won't be. But it is discontinued during a spell in hospital and needs to be re-instituted on return to the home.

www.housingcare.org/downloads/kbase/2050.pdf

How difficult this is for all of us - at least we have the support of others in the same boat and that is invaluable.

merlot I am so pleased that you can now relax - how wonderful!

I hace just been trawling throuogh the conditions (reams of the stuff) for continuing care funding and I suspect that they will not give it to Dad.

How ill do you have to be before they think you have "health care needs"? - Dad is so limited in his abilities through muscle weakness, incontinence and intermittent cognitive problems that we are having to have a live-in carer plus waking night carers because he is confused and agitated at night. This is the only way to keep him safe. There could not really be a bigger package of care; but it is only on the borderline of the funding! I am going to have a fight on my hands.

I'm still waiting to hear about continuing care funding, Mishap. You're right about it being reams - 12 pages, I think. Mum scored mostly moderates and highs but there were a couple of lows because she is co-operative and not a danger to others. I suppose she'd definitely get the green light if she spat her food on the floor and bit the carers.

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Good morning Mishap and all. I have come to this thread rather late, but just wanted to say after a very long and tiring struggle I have managed to secure a very good care package for my grandma. She is 97 and lives alone. I am her unofficial next of kin as my mum (her daughter is seriously ill with bone cancer). After a spell in and out of hospital it came to a head when she begged to go home but they would not let her leave until I signed a document saying that it would be responsible for her. After taking very good advice I decided against signing , meaning grandma spent another 2 weeks in hospita which was "my fault" . I think it might have worked as soon after that she was fully assessed and was provided with care in her own home 3 times a day (early morning, lunch time and evening) . I still have the responsibility of doctors, hospitals, shopping, food etc. but to know that someone will look in on her three times a day is wonderful. Luckily I only live a few miles away and can pop in most days before or after work, I can't imagine what it must be like if you lived miles away. I wish everyone in a similar situation my very best wishes.

Well done gillybob - it is a shame that these things require so much fighting for and brinkmanship. When it comes down to it, it is mostly about money really!

It sounds as though you are putting in a lot of hours in caring for her. You may qualify for Carer's Allowance - worth looking it up.

That's good news gillybob and it must be such a relief for you. Have a sitdown and a

I wouldn't dream of going down the road of Carer's Allowance Mishap. My grandma's social worker did mention it to me, but we have a lot of what I would politely call "family politics" going on, so not appropriate. Also as things stand I do not feel obligated (not sure if you know what I mean) to care for my grandma, I do it because I love her and want to pay back the love and care she gave to me whan I was a child. I am not sure it would feel the same if I was receiving money for doing it.

Yes kittylester it is a great relief, thank you. She is quite a force to be reckoned with and can be very difficult when she wants to be so the three ladies who share her care have my absolute admiration.

Home care service are the best for elderly people to make their last days more memorable and pleasant.They feel happy to be in home care with all facilities provided to them.They are many home care services for old people to resist them and to guide them..

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Home Care Services in Stevenage
Care Help Services in Your Home in Stevenage

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Nellie, just been through this for my 85-year-old father. If you are in the home counties, you could try Care Solutions run by Estelle Van Ickyx (T 01753 861117, M 07980 751344, E [email protected]), who provide jolly South Africans. Obviously it depends on the individual carer but Estelle has helped us manage for 8 months around unexpected hospital visits etc. The Good Care Group - Chris Keith, 12 Great Newport St, London WC2H 7JD, M 07805 365084 - are also good but much more expensive. Either way, as their children you have to keep a good eye open on everything - the NHS and local doctors are good in a crisis but hopeless with everyday care & management in my experience! Good luck - and keep posting.

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