she does need to move to care home.

Whether waiting for a crisis is irresponsible or not that is what you are generally expected o do.

A friend and his wife who live 100 yards from his mother who has dementia have been keeping everything working, despite his mothers increased dementia, for some years. Now things are getting too difficult, mother has started not to recognise her son and wife and wanders out at night, but usually gets home. When my friends spoke to Social Services, because, like your mother, michellejane1 my friends's mother put on a good show SS said she was capable of making an informed decision about whether to go into a home or not!!! and as she said 'no' there was nothing SS could do. They recommended that son and wife withdraw all support, wait until the inevitable crisis arises and then SS will be able to help sort things out and she will be deemed to be at risk and not safe to be left alone

I think it is very irresponsible to suggest you wait for a crisis! It might help if you could get her GP on side and also get a diagnosis. You don't say why social services were doing an assessment but they should have had some clinical input. Very good luck to you and your mother

michellejane1 I found when my dad was vulnerable, that stressing that he was at risk and not safe to leave, seemed to trigger some action from social services.

Perhaps a casual mention that they would be held reponsible, if an accident occurred after you have warned them that she is not safe.

michellejane. Shame Social Worker is not fully aware of the complexities of Dementia in all its forms and guises. It is quite well documented that people can 'mask' their conditions. Dear old FIL we cared for could put on a lovely performance for an hour or so but only we knew he was on a sort of 'loop' and everything would be said and done all over again an hour later.
Waiting for a crisis is hardly an option. Get more advice, go back to Social Services and explain your worries, they can be very good at letting you cope unless you make a lot of 'noise'. Perhaps some drop in carers for a while might be an option. You will need to do some homework about care homes, there are good ones around but it takes time. Also Age UK can offer advice I beleive.

Good Luck and don't give in to just waiting for a disaster.