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Care & carers

Support please

(16 Posts)
Trudy Wed 23-Mar-16 14:36:11

My husband and I have taken on our four grandsons age 2,6,8 and 9. We are in our 60's Is there any one out there in a similar a similar situation? It would be nice to stare stories and have some support.

Badenkate Wed 23-Mar-16 14:42:42

I can certainly offer you support if nothing else Trudy! I am full of admiration - I'm sure it will be hard-going at times, but full of fun and love as well. You may well need a few of these along the way wine

Synonymous Wed 23-Mar-16 14:50:58

Hats of to you Trudy and your DH!
Just don't try to be perfect and love them as much as you can. They will be challenging once they find their feet and start taking you for granted so stick together closer than glue.
Every good wish to you all!

Synonymous Wed 23-Mar-16 14:52:28

Oh, nearly forgot the wine & cupcake flowers

mumofmadboys Wed 23-Mar-16 15:15:47

Gosh you will have your hands full. I wish you well and your son/ daughter and GS are very fortunate to have you both. All the best and let us know how it goes. Such a wonderfully worthwhile thing to do in no doubt very difficult circumstances.

whitewave Wed 23-Mar-16 15:20:49

Wow total exhaustion springs to mind, but I wouldn't do anything less especially if it was completely necessary.

You can come on here and grump and moan and hopefully triumph and there will always be a sympathetic ear.

Greyduster Wed 23-Mar-16 15:33:13

Pace yourselves - especially with the eight and nine year olds! Don't try and be a superhero - you'll last longer 🙂 ! Good luck; sure you'll do a splendid job!

Eloethan Wed 23-Mar-16 15:52:36

Like others on here, I have great admiration for what you are doing and wish you all the best.

Doing a quick search, I found an organisation called Grandparents Plus which appears to have local support groups and provide advice and information for grandparents caring for their grandchildren. I don't know if it will be of any use to you but I hope so.

Eloethan Wed 23-Mar-16 16:02:14

Just to add to that, my husband tells me that local councils should have lists of voluntary groups that might be able to help.

Willow500 Wed 23-Mar-16 16:17:49

You also have my admiration - I hope this is just a case of helping their parents out and not due to family problems. I don't have any advise other than try to be both patient and firm with them - and don't get stressed about the mess smile

Luckygirl Wed 23-Mar-16 17:49:00

Well done - it will be tough. The only advice I would give is to grab any help on offer with both hands - try Home Start, talk with the HV, use nursery if youycan.

Judthepud2 Wed 23-Mar-16 22:25:20

Good luck Trudy You and your DH are amazing. I imagine you would rather look after your grandchildren than have them looked after by strangers, and possibly split up. I hope you are getting some support with the emotional side of things.

Hopefully there are GNERS reading your post who are in a similar position and can keep in touch.


ninathenana Thu 24-Mar-16 01:00:38

There is another GP on here who's recently won residency for her GS who I believe is about 8 ??
Can anyone remember her name ?

cornergran Thu 24-Mar-16 18:17:51

Full of admiration Trudy. A local support group could be useful perhaps. There should be information at the library or even at a voluntary action centre. There will be others here in a similar situation and the rest of us will help if we can. Good luck there will be lots of fun along with the hard work.

LullyDully Thu 24-Mar-16 20:51:41

We did something similar with a 2 and a half year old boy and a 4and a half year old girl . I am not sure we could have coped with 4 children. We had just downsized from a large house to a flat!

Be kind to yourselves.

Set a strict routine as soon as possible. You can't be too flexible when you are older. If you can afford it look at after school clubs and holiday clubs. I think you will have to get help from the older children if that's possible. It is all about a routine the children enjoy and understand.

We had ours for about 4/ 5 years and still spend a lot of time with them . We do have a special relationship with them . Hard to give them up which we are slowly doing. We love those children so much.

Iam64 Fri 25-Mar-16 20:32:19

That's some commitment trudy, impressive. If you have 'taken the children on' because of worries about their parents that resulted in social work involvement you may be entitled to support from the local authority. It's worth getting some legal advice because l.a's often try and avoid putting a support package together. It's understandable in some ways, given the cuts but it's also unforgivable to exploit the love grandparents have because foster/adoption as an alternative would cost them a small fortune.