Dementia - what do the carers want?

I think Vickya's suggestion is a really good one. I visit my Auntie and when we talk about recent things, she gets very confused but when we looked at some photos, it seemed her mind clicked back in and her memories of the past were sharp and her face lit up as she remembered people and places. Our local paper used to ask people to send in photos of our area from the past and being in a library, I'm pretty sure there must be literature of that type you could choose and hand around. You could also get in touch with a care home and find out from the staff there what their residents who have dementia enjoy. The exercise thing Vickya suggested is a good idea too. Keep them a little active. What a lovely thing to do, for sufferers and carers respite. I wish you every success.

Careof123,annsixty and Hunt thank you for your suggestions. I'm more hopeful of being able to 'chat' with my cousin (about applying for an assessment) if I can refer to some printed information; so my next step will definately be the organisations you suggested. I feel more hopeful and positive after reading your posts, thank you!

I think I must be "in the spectrum" because I prefer short stories, and have read loads.
elena - the only really short ones I can think of is Chekov's earliest stories, World's Classics series - quite funny too. Most later stories are very long.
William stories is a very good idea, they appeal to all ages.

How about poetry? I have a friend who suffers from dementia and we often sit and recite poetry with each other. A lot of elderly people were made to learn poems by heart in their youth. If they were church goers they will also remember the words to hymns.

I suggest your cousin contacts either/ both Age UK and /or the Alzheimer's society who will put her in touch with someone whe can help her get any benefits she and her Mother are entitled to. We are well catered for here with help and organisations for respite care , although I don't yet use them myself, but I have all the details at hand for when I do need them.

Deedi does your cousin claim attendance allowance for her mother. It is a non means tested benefit for those who require some form of care. You can look up on the internet for details and how to apply. If successful you would have money to pay for someone to come in and help with looking after your aunt.

we have a group called Singing For the Brain run in our area. Dementia suffers are taken there and they can join in with all the old songs from their younger days.

Have read the suggestions re. dementia sufferers and their carers and found it really interesting. Can I ask for suggestions how to 'convince' my cousin who is at her wits end caring full time for her elderly mother (recently diagnosed and given medication for dementia).Cousin is a spinster and lives with her mother in a council run flat. Aunty doesn't venture outside the flat only to attend appointments and is accompanied by cousin and I usually drive them.
When I stay with aunty for a few hours to enable cousin to go and get the groceries etc Ive tried playing various board games, colouring book, looking at family photos and sometimes we just listen to music as conversation is very limited. Apart from myself there is no-one to support my cousin in caring for her mum. I believe if my cousin would just go to her GP and explain the difficulties she's experiencing coping then hopefully she'd have access to some respite care(?) I know cousin has some financial concerns; she gets her state pension and some kind of carers allowance but is fearful about seeking any kind of help in case there is a charge for the service(s).....
I don't know where to go with this and how much to urge my cousin to seek help as she is a very private person (bit of the stiff upper lip type) What is the way forward?

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cathyd, they are called fiddle muffs. It's a good way of using up odd bits of wool etc. I make them for our local hospital and use different textures and put things inside the muffs as well as outside. Some dementia sufferers find them soothing. My mum used to shred tissues so I suppose a fiddle muff might help with this type of thing.

I would just like to point out that some affected people, my H being one, do not like being reminded of past times. It reminds them of times when they could remember things and were leading a normal life. They are not all "away with the fairies" and are aware of what is happening to them. Good luck kitty with your plans, I'm sure it will be appreciated.

Our library does rag rug making. Seems to be popular.

Lots of good ideas here kitty. I use photographs/postcards and music a lot when I'm with people who struggle with dementia. Photographs of people and postcards of places can stimulate memories/conversations and music to sing along to is always a hit. We also play board games and I sometimes read or tell a short story to my group.

I think that whilst the people who have dementia are occupied I'd invite guest speakers to run workshops or speak on various topics for the carers. Hopefully a mix of fun and serious stuff.

Well done for giving it a go.

Our WI are making muffs just like cathyd said, they are called twiddle muffs and help sufferers keep their hands occupied. I believe they are very useful. Also music from their younger years seems to bring back a sparkle.

Good luck with your venture.

We had the William stories in the car for our children - I loved them!!

Thank you for the suggestions - they are all welcome.

I was in our local library the other day, and an old gent was perusing the shelves. We got talking and he told me he cared for his wife who had dementia, and was looking for talking books. I tried to help him find something, and he thought that short stories - very short stories - would be enjoyable for her. We couldn't find any, so I suggested he speak to the librarian.

I was looking for my mother, too, who does not have dementia but whose concentration is poor. I actually thought she might like the 'William' stories, written for children but hugely enjoyable by adults, read by Martin Jarvis - couldn't find them, either, so have ordered them.

Great stuff, kittylester! I help to run a Dementia Carers group in my area because it is the carers who need the support most - they are living on a daily basis with a slowing declining and changing loved one and the emotional (and practical) stress that engenders is huge.
So I'd suggest you offer the facilities of a meeting room for carers to discuss their concerns and ideas, as well as the connections with other support services they may have made in the area. Offering this group to carers once their loved one has died is also important because by passing on their own understanding, experience and suggestions to those currently caring they receive bereavement support and a sense of being needed by others. This time away from the cared for is vital (even on a once a month basis) and might be facilitated by local Social Services, Alzheimer's Society (or other organisations).
As a result of this group we later developed a singing group on a different day when the carers and cared for can share the time together because singing the words of songs is often still managed even after conversational language fails.
We are totally voluntary and fund raise for everything but there are some kind, considerate people out there who are pleased to help when they can - especially those who have been affected by dementia and Alzheimer's.
Good luck with all your efforts!

Just searched google for Wigan library dementia and there's quite a bit of info...

kittylester I saw one of those morning TV shows about the way a local authority functions a few weeks ago. Their library team was doing exactly what you describe for people with dementia and their carers. I think it was Wigan but don't quote me! I was interested because my mother had dementia. Anyway, a few of the activities I remember were:

A picture quiz of famous faces and places (appropriate era for faces)
A sing along to golden oldies (again appropriate to age range and someone acted as DJ)
Tea, coffee and biscuits
Hot lunch (I think people made pies, casserole etc. and brought it along)

I wish I could remember more of the actual activities but it was a while ago. You could contact Wigan library to ask advice. I'm pretty sure it was Wigan...

When my mum was in her final years taking old photos in and talking about the people was one thing to do. For a group maybe some photos of how things were, old buses etc, scenes of things, pictures of the royal family? Things to talk about.

Chair-based exercise to music is good if it is possible. A beach ball thrown around. Stamping feet. Waving arms etc.

Knitting rectangles would be an easy option for dementia sufferers and carers alike and could be stitched together to make hand muffs. I read somewhere that using different types of wool and adding buttons, small pockets, bobbles etc to the muff gives the person different textures and shapes to keep their fingers occupied. It might also prevent buttons being pulled off their own clothing and small items could be stored in the pocket.

When my beautiful late Mum was in a home in later stages of dementia I noticed that when they had people in singing old songs the residents feet were tapping along and my Mum and a few others seemed more alert. Just like to say how I admire people like you who want to genuinely help. Good Luck.

I'd just like to point out that despite what it says about stuffing in my last post, that is NOT what we are about.

Couple of typos in the above - sorry: thinking as I type without connecting fingers to brain!

Both my parents had dementia and both found reading novels difficult. However, magazines with short stories e.g. My Weekly, People's Friend. They produce twice yearly books as well.

What about a Craft Corner - knitting and crochet are something which people fine difficult when they have dementia and they might like to produce something small. I'm thinking maybe those Innocent Smoothie hats ... Depends on the level of dementia they are living with, of course, but then all activities do.

I'd also stress not to forget men ... my dad used to be able to enjoy Reader's Digest - similar point: short articles.

Newspapers - including ones like Metro and that new one (forgot name, sorry) because it doesn't have masses of pages and cuts stories down to the bare necessities.

Plenty of magazines - easy to pick up and put down and plenty of opportunity for chat, particularly the gossip type ones.

Once you know who is coming, maybe hobby magazines - again, for men (no, no those ... I'm thinking fishing, Countryfile etc.

Also something for carers - a chance to browse among the novels, access the internet etc'

Plus, of course, cuppas all round and awareness of the need to adapt/change activities depending on the users and how they feel on the day.

Also music, quietly, in the background. Some people with dementia find silence, or conversely background chatter, difficult to deal with. Music could be a distraction and something to occupy the mind if they don't want, or can't get involved in the other things.

This is a fantastic idea. Sending you huge Well Dones and luck with it all. Wish you were near me (Somerset?). Even though my parents are now no longer with us, I'd love to get involved.

Not staging a takeover bid, honestly, but my parents were ill for many years and I now volunteer with the Alzheimer's Society, but I'm still learning - dementia is so unpredictable and no one person is the same as any other. xx