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Care & carers

Advice needed please

(11 Posts)
whitewave Tue 05-Dec-17 14:18:33

The time has come to get support for Mum in her home.

I can organise her home delivery of a hot meal, but she has finally come to needing personal care and help with washing etc.

Can anyone begin to point me the way forward please.

ninathenana Tue 05-Dec-17 14:26:41

Will she be self funding ? If not SS is your first port of call. They will do an assesment of her needs.
If she is self funding, ask around locally for recommendations of care agencies.

MissAdventure Tue 05-Dec-17 14:29:51

Another option is that if your mum is eligible for funding, they give it directly to her, so she (you) can buy in the care she needs. They can help with this, as your mum would then be an employer.

whitewave Tue 05-Dec-17 14:31:57

Mum has the state pension and a tiny pension from my fathers private pension, and has a tiny amount saved so I guess she won’t be self funding.

So social services sounds the next port of call.

MissAdventure Tue 05-Dec-17 14:33:35

You have to be quite 'robust' with social services. If they think there is a chance that the family will care for your mum, then they will push for that.

whitewave Tue 05-Dec-17 15:00:17

Blimey I have just phoned and explained the situation, they said that there could be a plan put into place as a matter of urgency!! All I have to do now is persuade mum. A lot easier said than done, although I do think that she has reached the end of her tether as have I to be honest.

whitewave Tue 05-Dec-17 15:00:59

Thanks for your support folks- I’ll update you as and when stuff happens in case it helps others on here.

MissAdventure Tue 05-Dec-17 15:03:29

Good luck, whitewave. Hope your mum agrees.

Luckygirl Tue 05-Dec-17 15:23:35

That sounds positive - fingers crossed!

whitewave Tue 05-Dec-17 15:28:54

Just spoken to her on the phone and at long last she seems to realise that she has to release her total independence and agree to receive help. Her breathing has reached crises point. The doctor says there isn’t an awful lot that can be done, but has given her a prescription that will hopefully help.

It is so sad, as she has such a bright and quick mind even at 99 - it is her body letting her down. I have had to say it like it is though because I have always tried to allow her to make her own decisions without interference, but quite honestly we are past that now.

Still ever onwards as it were.

luckyrose62 Tue 05-Dec-17 18:52:17

Different areas seem to have different ideas. In our area you have to get a named social worker to set things up. Then they disappear after about 6 weeks then you have to get another allocated if you nag. Even if you do not have a lot of money you still have to pay for home care, reduced rate you have to ask for a financial assessment. Also if not already in place ask for attendance allowance. Our first financial assessment took nothing into account. Even classed mums paid for funeral as savings... Which is annoying it's not an insurance plan where you could get money bac it is a pre paid funeral. . It's a stressful situation dealing with all these different people. If you have a stretched council. Good luck so pleased your mum has got a sharp mind. Even though it is upsetting for her she will be able to understand when explained in kind ways. Also be able to tell others how she feels