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Care & carers


(5 Posts)
BRAVEBETH Wed 20-Jun-18 12:25:56

I am a full time carer for mother aged 98. She is driving me mad. She is so self centred. She is so demanding. We are changing her will again because she is angry with my cousin. She is angry with everyone and she hates everyone. I cannot take her anger any more. Her new will arrived this morning and she was horrified with the prices
However I told her it was expensive. I fear everyone will blame me. I am scared to phone my cousins. I expect I will be the only one at the funeral - so sad so exhausted
So drained yet so empty.

sodapop Wed 20-Jun-18 12:39:31

You have my sympathy BraveBeth it is so difficult, caring for a family member is not always easy.
Are you able to take a break from caring and at least get out of the house for a while on your own.
Is it possible to talk to your cousins about what is happening so they know your Mum is being unreasonable.

This is par for the course I'm afraid with many elderly people so do take care of yourself and have a break when you can
Good luck.

Luckygirl Wed 20-Jun-18 13:04:38

At 98 I am afraid that some poor people lose the bits of brain that control their emotions, so they can get pretty ratty. What a burden for you.

I am not surprised you feel drained - get some help in, so you can get a break. She will of course object to that but, as my DD says to me, "You can't pour from an empty jug." So you need to look after yourself.

If your Mum has sufficient funds that she has to pay for any care that goes in, the LA can put a legal charge on her property and recoup the money at a later stage.

You are entitled to a Carers' Assessment from social services - demand one!!

What an exhausting life for you.

GrandmaMoira Wed 20-Jun-18 13:08:30

I don't have any answers for you, but my sympathies. It is so difficult caring for someone so elderly and demanding.

Jane10 Wed 20-Jun-18 13:29:50

flowers from me! It's so much easier being a carer for someone you're not related to. Try not to take things too personally (although that's easier said than done.)
Any chance of other family members giving you some respite?